Illegal Contact, all

I thoroughly enjoyed this story! I was in the mood for something football-y since 'tis the season!

Your Bella presented a real person just trying to do the best she can do with the situation presented to her. She never resented having to raise her brother. The way you wrote her pain from the loss of her parents, well, if you have ever lost someone that close, you know how it takes years before it even begins to dull. She hurt. She craved their advice and approval.

I think the timing of the reveal on her OD was perfect. It was at a point in which you had us invested in her and Seth's relationship and how much they mean to each other. How close they are now. It made his words acute.

I loved that you allowed Bella and Edward to become friends first. It made the progression of their romantic relationship make sense. I love their faith in each other, but at the same time, I adored that you let him have it after the sonogram SNAFU. She was just the right amount of angry, and her vindictiveness w/ the condoms is something I would TOTALLY do! LOL!

Thank-you for writing this story. I read it non-stop this past weekend. I got the rec from TwiFicRecs Tweet about Athleticwards. :)

Let's Get Physical, Ch. 14

This chapter feels like the first step in the climb they are making towards acknowledging feelings. They were both a little flirty. There was some physical touching that goes beyond friend or professional levels. Finally, we see Bella being less critical of herself. She still has her complaints, but the self-loathing is recessing.

Impossible Situations, o/s

My heart hurts. This is like the "Midnight Sun" I yearned for. I think you captured Gale perfectly in this view of him watching the games, realizing his love for Katniss, and then the pain of losing her before he ever had the chance to make her his. The line about how "his Katniss" died in the aren was poignant.

Just...wow.

Game, Set, Love, Ch. 1-10

Chapter 1
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What a great start to a story. I am a former tennis player, so this Edward is right up my alley. So to speak. :)

I like that you have him young. That will give a nice contrast as his accomplishment professionally and his naivety of youth collide.

I love how you have had Edward and Bella meet, and I can't wait to read how this unfolds!

Chapter 3
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They meet again! I love your mix of the technicality of reining and matches with your plot. The reason I am reading a tennis story is because I want to read some tennis too! So, thanks for that!

I am itching for the next chapter now, so moving on!

Chapter 4
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Now I can see why you were anxious about my reaction. Well, played. So, now is he going to turn tail, or sac up. Moving forward!

Chapter 5
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Hmmm...what detained Edward? I am guessing that was Emmett and Rosalie at the bar. I like the playfulness of their texts and look forward to seeing how this unfolds.

Chapter 10
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I am not sure what happened. I have to say Chapters 6 through Chapter 10 confused me. Your writing style changed so much it was like reading a different story.

I am hoping that it is deliberate way to show that now that as they become more attracted to each other, these two mature professionals are regressing into their teenage selves. I don't know. The vernacular you have adopted is just awkward for me.

I do love the story you have set-up here. I hope to find my love again, and not love = 0.

The Cullen Campaign, Ch. 19

All the drama that exists for these two are from external sources. Here they are, both hurting from keeping themselves locked up emotionally, when if they would just let go, they could start building their foundation of their relationship, and gradually let the outside world in. They are suffering from someone else's preconceived notions and ideals.

I hope one of them lets go. Takes the chance on this affair that really is perfect. Parentage aside.

The Fallout, Ch. 30

One of my favorite things about this story is that you wrote it in such a way that I have felt the despondence and pain all through the beginning. I questioned my own ability to hold onto hope. Neither side of the coin held onto much hope after a decade.

But then you started giving us rays of sunshine through the clouds. The wall. Jasper finding Bella. The Cullens finding the Forks settlement. The people in this story were gradually given some hope. It was like you were giving up permission to be happy again.

Now, we are experiencing pure joy. The football game and all it's playfulness. Laughter, unbound. Playful sexuality while Edward washed up. Finally, their trip to the meadow, which seemed to be as untouched as the moment was. It was just them in the place where it all started. Where love seemed to be frozen in time waiting for them. It was beautifully written.

Tips for Better Living, Ch. 14

I know too well the awkwardness of a love affair where the relationship makes no sense to the outside world, but is nothing but right within the bubble. Their greatest hurdle to overcome will not be each other and how they feel. It will be the outside world and their judgment.

I'm happy they are making progress behind closed doors, but my heart hurt a bit at the moment Edward saw Bella with outside eyes. I think it is good that he did. He needs to take off the rose colored glasses to realize what others see, so he can better face the criticism in the future.

Some Little Girls, Ch. 1-4

This portion of Bella and Edward's tale really hit home for me. I fear every day that I am going to turn out like my mom, or in other words, my kids have more negative memories of my parenting than good. I didn't have that feeling when pregnant, but just about every day since oldest turned 3.

I love Edward's need to have things just so. That he has a plan, and he needs it to happen how he envisioned it. :)

Also, I like the fact that Esme is dating. Girlfriend deserves to have her parts seen to. Edward is going to lose his shit when he finds out.

Finally, the "Excalibur" internal ultrasound wand is NO JOKE.

Edward Wallbanger, Ch. 19

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

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As, always my beautiful teakettle, I love your plays on words, your witty banter, and in the end, two people finally letting go and letting love take over.

**gives the signs for Banger to steal home**

University of Edward Masen, Ch. 42

I'm so happy you gave them the gift of time. Bella needed to experience life on her own. I think it was healthy for her to have her own space and to settle into her life at Harvard. She was wise and true to herself when she admitted some wounds cannot be cured over-night. It takes time to rid oneself of the fear of abandonment. Hell, it took me 20.

Now that she has acquiesced to his request, it feels right. It is the right time. I can't wait to see how this leg of their lifetime journey together concludes.

Raw and Rosy, Ch. 12

After reading this chapter, I realize that does Jasper not only dominate Edward, but he allows him to be something that he doesn't get to be with anyone else. 100% unguarded.

You see in his interactions with his parents, that their relationship is all very superficial. People who had children, because it is what you did, and are not meant to raise another human. They treat him as a commodity or some sort of sociological experimentation. How freeing Jasper must feel to him? No wonder he trusts him so. He is free to be himself, and goes un-judged...and possibly now something else.

That was not pure fucking we witnessed this chapter. There was tenderness. There was care.

Last Tango in Forks, Ch. 17

The two worlds have collided. Now what happens. Not only are they faced with each other unexpectedly, but it is very publicly. Not only that, but they are both "meeting" each other at last. The names are out there. There is no going back to anonymity. Their truth is known.

As for the car scene, JFC that was some hot stuff. Your wording and descriptors had me in the passenger seat of that car being the pinnacle of voyeuristic. Just wow.

Then her drunken, mumbled "Love you" followed by his solo post-orgasmic "I love you, too". This is either about to be great or heartbreaking. Jury's still out.

Hydraulic Level 5, Ch. 35

It's easy to walk away. The easiest thing in the world is to look at a situation, know it is fucked up beyond belief, and walk away. What so many people don't do, is stay. To wade through the river of shit, not knowing if you'll come out clean on the other side.

Bella is taking that chance. She is putting her faith in love. She will be completely exhausted when this is done, but hopefully, with the truth out there, they will both be set free. Free to settle into some quiet, new reality when the dust settles.

There is nothing easy about the near future, that is for sure.

Our Lives Unbound, Ch. 11

It hurts to see Edward still struggling so, but you can't change a lifetime of self-effacement over night. Or even in the course of weeks. Bella is slowly stripping him bare emotionally while simultaneously building him up. She is pushing him to accept who he is while reassuring him that it is okay.

Still, he barricades. I look forward to that moment when he lets the walls fall down. I don't think it will be an avalanche, but a brick-by-brick release.

As always, I am enraptured.

Guide to Losing a Player in One Date, Ch. 1-5

This Esme and Carlisle are one of my favorites in the fandom. I'm so happy you decided to tell their story. I love Carlisle's insistence and cockiness. The problem I am having is that I am not seeing the essence of what I love about Esme. Granted, she is 20 years or so younger than the mature woman I have come to love in AA5/Counterpoint. I was, admittedly, not the person I am today when I was that age. So, because of this, I am giving her some leeway. My problem is that she often comes off as being a bitch and not just evasive or leery. Where I would expect clever banter, I just find snark.

But like I said, I was reactionary and at times hurtful in hindsight in my early 20s. Maybe the thing I don't like the most is the mirror you are inadvertently holding up.

Let's Get Physical, Ch. 1-13

It would have been so easy to make Edward and Bella caricatures in the story you have set up. Instead, you have created two human beings. Bella is over-weight, but it is the result of negatively focusing her neglect and emotional abuse. She is not losing weight to get a man, she is doing it because it is the healthy thing to do. Now that her life has been rid of it's toxic element, James, she is working on becoming emotionally and physically healthy...for HER.

Edward as the personal trainer, could have been a brainless body. A mere object of her desire. Instead, we have an average guy who despite some shallow tendencies in the past is learning to question his ideals of beauty. He has some aspirations to do something musically, but really is not overly ambitious. It is refreshing to see an Edward that is not perfect nor broken. He just is.

The way you have built up their relationship, and their burgeoning feelings is well-paced. The mis-communications, or lack there of in some cases, has taken me on a wonderful roller coaster ride of emotion. I have genuinely smiled and achingly hurt for the two of them. Hopefully, the assumptions they are both working under will clear.

I loved this latest chapter, because Bella let herself be the confident woman she should be. She is finding her power.

Osa Bella, Ch. 31

I love the moral dilemma in this story. Sacrifice your own happiness for the safety of others OR have your HEA and see an entire civilization destroyed. Yeah...no easy answers there.

Once again, Bella is our favorite martyr, though I would be hard pressed to find many that would choose differently than she is doing. The problem in the end is that this is all built on the lie that she is Hala. This is either going to come crashing down around them all, or it's going to turn out that she is actually who they think she is. Only you know the answer to that (don't tell me).

Bella's pain is so real in this chapter. Jacob's too. So well written.

The Training, Ch. 30

I think the thing that has resonated with me through this entire series, and made me pause and read a BDSM fic to begin with was your Bella. She is very approachable. She is someone I would be friends with. Someone I am. She just happens to enjoy a little kink behind closed doors and in libraries and in stadiums full of 100K people. I digress.

This real feeling comes through in this chapter when she realizes she has said Edward's name. That "Oh shit!" moment we have all experienced when we have done something without thinking, realizing that split second after it happens that we have fucked up.

Also, to see Domward back large and in charge again. He softened so much for us in The Training. We got to spend time with the man as well as the Dom. You could FEEL the transformation when he changed hats in this one. That was amazing writing to convey that.

Elemental, Ch. 26

I like the juxtaposition of them strengthening as their world is on the brink of falling apart. I love how you have let their relationship progress naturally. That Bella has been questioning, while trying to accept this life she has be thrust into.

She remains strong and confident, and Edwards softening in her hands, and his burgeoning trust in her is almost like reading someone's diary. You write their emotional intimacy in such a way, I'm always left feeling like a bit of a peeping Tom.

Cinna, Ch. 1-2

I love these, Mousy!

I think you have captured perfectly Cinna's stillness. I always loved his quiet observation, and when he did speak, you knew it was something to listen to. I always pictured him as someone who would get lost in deep thoughts, and you played this out perfectly.

His partner seems to be a compliment to him. Especially in this second one, where he knows the man that he loves. He knows what District 12 will mean if Cinna takes them on. Myka knows that he is probably going to lose the love of his life, but at the same time, would never want to change who the man in his arms is.

Double Team, o/s

Such a sweet little story. I can hear the sounds of the crunching leaves, smell the distinct flavors of fall, and who doesn't enjoy a game of backyard football?

::walks away with a smile::