The Cocky and The Cougar, Ch. 15

OK, that sucks. I had a feel that the secret being eluded to was a relationship from the past. Was hoping it was past tense. I don't think Edward was lying when he told Bella that he had never been in love before. I have a feeling, whomever this girl is, that whatever they have had going in the past was more one-sided her way. This is NOT how Bella should have found out about it. She has been completely open and honest about her past w/ Jacob. With Bella's past, it is going to be extremely hard for her to be forgiving or forgetting. Maybe it is too late for Edward. He would have deserved that.

On a lighter note...Happy New Year!

Fault, Ch. 22

My favorite thing about this story continues to be how you allow the characters to be the age they are. Their language. Their awkwardness. Schizophrenic emotions. Makes me want to pull out my old diary and roll my eyes at myself.

Part of me wonders if Carlisle is a bit lenient with the behind closed doors between Edward and Bella, because her rediscovering and being comfortable with sexuality is part of her healing. Alas, he is still a father, and so there isn't a complete blind eye.

I just hope that Edward's youth allows him some not so common patience with Bella as she finds her way.

Counterpoint, Ch. 23

You know, I know what is coming, but the way you present it from Edward's eyes makes my heart ache in new and deeper ways. The realization that your affections cannot be reciprocated at the level in which you feel. That they may never is crushing.

I may have to drink while reading the rest of these chapters, or have a happy story chaser ready. You know how to evoke the void.

Happy New Year, darling!

Company Loves Misery, Ch. 5

So, yeah, I have been selfishly swimming in your psyche without reviewing. Like Edward, I am making amends. :)

This one is hard for me to read, I must tell you. I have my own demons when it comes to alcoholism, and so I find it hard to be empathetic with Edward at all. But, like with my own recovering alcoholic, I recognize the effort, and harboring hate only hurts the harbormaster.

You have captured the alcoholics inability to recall, or recall with little detail their actions while in their stupor.

Also, with Bella, I am interested to watch how you write her transformation, because you do when you start to let go of a lifetime of hate and resentment.

Happy New Year, Sam!

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 37

This road trip has been a beautiful summation to how far these two have come emotionally. Edward curbed his caveman tendency when they stopped. Bella willingly told the story of life before Edward, and even shared her biggest source of guilt. Also, Edward got to see how they are perceived as a couple. That it isn't all judgment. That people, if given the chance, see the love and nothing else.

I love how you reveal things about Bella that continually surprise both Edward and us. Maybe him more than us, because we can see what is going on in her head. :)

Happy New Year!

Devil's Angel, Ch. 15

Just as some walls are tumbling, and Edward is looking at really living his life, and being a part of someone else's this Volturi mess pops up. ::sighs and shakes head (at situation, not you):: Will this poor boy never be allowed any happiness? Any peace?

I can see that Edward is not going to let this Volturi business go. I can see him finding out things that frighten him or leave him wanting vengeance for his parents. I can see him pushing Bella away in fear of the Volturi getting to her. I can see him doing so without explanation. I can see my heart hurting a lot more before this story is even close to finished.

I love this hot mess!

The Lion and The Jackel, Ch. 11

The pace that you have set for this story...this relationship is tortuously perfect. You allow it to dance just on the edge of too much UST, but it never crosses that line. Edward's tortured heart at the realization that he "gallantry" isn't perceived as such by Bella. That she sees his actions as nothing but abandonment was so shocking to him.

He should know by now that truthfulness is the only thing that will win her. She needs to see what he has been doing before she can feel his motivations.

Happy New Year!

Rhapsody, Ch. 1-6

Chapter 1
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So while FailFiction is on hiatus on giving me reviews or updates, I thought I just might search out some new stuff to read, and I landed here.

What an absolutely intriguing first chapter! You have not only set up what these characters look like, and what it is they do to pass the time, but you have woven complex character traits and desires in the first notes of your symphony. I not only can see your characters, but I can feel them already.

Beautifully orchestrated start. I can't wait to read more tomorrow!

Chapter 2
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It sounds like he has reigned in a bit of the OCD from his youth. It's OK to like order. I love that he is a foody.

Sounds like Bella is going to have to be the aggressor in this relationship, though he doesn't run off or shy away once she does get the conversation rolling. Once they do get talking, there seems to be easy flow between the two of them. I hope it continues.

I am thinking that Jasper is taking Edward to a certain new restaurant...

Chapter 3
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Excuse me as I step outside in the below freezing weather to cool off for a moment...

I was NOT expecting that! Holy shit that was one of the hottest moments I've read in fic, and I think the surprise had EVERYTHING to do with it. ::giggle::

Bella obviously likes an emotional order as much as Edward craves physical order. I am hoping next chapter finds her showing up at Edward's door and not allowing him to run and hide in needless shame.

Chapter 4
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I love your Alice in this story. Her intuitiveness giving a shout out to her canon self. I like how direct and unapologetic she is as well.

I am glad I was right about the restaurant. It demonstrates to Edward a shared love of food that he and Bella have, as well as keeping her on the forefront of his mind.

I was so hoping you would have her show up at his door, though the meeting itself didn't go as I expected, and I love you for it. That boy's rabbit hole runs deep, and I think you have only shown us the surface.

Chapter 5
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That was confused and sexy and needy and just right.

Poor Edward. What a past. This chapter did help explain his self-loathing and deprecation. I have a feeling that only time will prove to Edward that Bella's feelings are real, that she is not going to hurt him, and that he can trust her with his heart.

Looking forward to seeing if he does make the next move, or if Jasper will have to intercede.

Chapter 6
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First off, quit fucking apologizing for your story. It is our jobs as readers to give ourselves over to you and the journey you choose to take your characters on. That is the fun of it. Your choices and pace are what make it exciting and unpredictable. If a reader wants to dictate how a story should go, then they should write their own damn story.

I love how they have begun to feed off of each others bravery. This chapter saw them feeding off the emotion of the other, and then having the courage and trust to give back, to ask for what they want, to surrender to what they need.

Finally, piano sex FTW!

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 9

He'll rip that bitch off.

The look into the future was actually kind of horrifying. To see them all so feral was shocking. You pulled me right into that moment.

Delusions of Grandeur, Ch. 1-19

I have greatly enjoyed watching these polar opposite beings on the surface dive below appearances and find that there is someone there to befriend, to care for...potentially to love.

They were united by suffering and a lifestyle. Now it will be interesting to see how they deal with and explore other core differences that can break a couple that is not strong enough in it's communication and tolerance.

Looking forward to more of this story, and to your interview with manyafandom on PPSS!

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 1-8

My new mantra for any Mrs.TheKing, "I have never read anything like this before."

You have amazed me once again by coming up with a completely original storyline that I have never seen done before. Bella as an angel battling James for control of the maintenance of Heaven while God is on a business trip in Hell to make dealings with the Devil? Where the fuck do you come up with this genius?! I think maybe I need to spend as much time on the can as you do...that's got to be the key.

No one writes vulnerable Edward like you do. He is sweet and caring, and willing to sacrifice himself to help this fallen angel return to where she belongs. In turn, you have a smart mouth, sassy angel who is short-tempered and spunky.

Then on top of all of that, you have your great dialog and this crazy pick-a-path story happening. Your writing once again has me enthralled. To read you, is to admire you. To know you, is to adore you.

BTW...though I think it is early in the game. I am voting for the love.

Deep Dish, Ch. 1-5

Sometimes an author comes up with a new side character, that cannot be found in canon, that takes hold of your heart and leaves you craving more. Whether it be sexual desire manifested as a monster or a moody and possessive cat named Clive, you would love a fic just about them. In the case of Deep Dish by starfish422, one of these characters gets their day in the sun.

Jack Charles was first introduced to us as a new friend that helped Jasper get through his rough break-up with Edward in Over The Top. The thing that fascinated me about him was that he was straight forward, honest, yet there was shadow that followed him around. Turns out, that shadow was being completely in love with his best friend, and straight man, Ashton. In Deep Dish, Ashton has just gotten married to Jasper’s old secretary from OTT, Kathleen, and Jack decides it is finally time to put some distance between himself and his best friend, who is also the bane of his emotional health. Distance is literal in this case. Jack has decided to leave Seattle and move to Chicago.

With the move, Jack brings with him someone new to his life from Over The Top, Jacey, and meets someone new, Mike Newton, from a little fic called A House of Cards by DefinatelyStaying. Part of me, when I first learned about Jack meeting up with Mike, hoped that maybe two dejected souls from two stories can find happiness together in this one. Once again, I am awed at starfish422’s ability to craft characters and make you fall in love with them. I am now hoping that Jacey becomes a more permanent fixture in Jack’s life, and that maybe Mike and Jack can become friends in a way that is uncluttered by the confusion of romantic love.

What I am enjoying most about this story so far is watching unapologetically single Jack start to want and need to let someone into his life. After spending the last decade in love with someone who does love him, but who could never be a true partner in life, Jack has found someone, possibly in Jacey, to not only be a lover, but a love…a partner. There are the obstacles of distance and age that will cause strain on this relationship, but I am anxious to see how it may survive. I am ready to enjoy watching Jack find his happiness.

Edward Wallbanger, Ch. 13

::pulls out cigarette and takes a long drag while straightening my rumpled hair::

Damn, Alice, you give great banter. It may be the best banter that I have had in YEARS.

Under the deliciousness that is your dialog you have set up some interesting potential trouble and a new level of UST. Looking forward to continuing this dance with you in the new year.

The Cannabean Betrothal, Ch. 14

My heart hurts, and I actually have a silent tear or two sliding from the corner of my eye.

Edward is stressed by the control he must maintain on himself due to the nature of their beliefs. He is also has jealousy heaped upon memories of past wrongs heaped upon the role he is trying to assume in Bella's life, yet not completely able to at this point.

Then Bella is caught between the two men she loves the most and their mixed signals on who's lead she should be following. Her heartache is compounded by her ignorance to the past and family issues that Edward won't completely share. In fact, his lack of communication mixed with his reactions to her innocent questions are going to cause great strife soon.

you = wonderful, as always.
me = enraptured, as always.

All I Want For Christmas, o/s

I love when someone gives me a married, committed Jasper/Edward! I absolutely love them as a couple. Edward as a news correspondent was an interesting twist. Nothing like a joyous reunion for the holidays!

Thanks for sharing! Merry Christmas!

Chapter 35 Title: Epilogue
Words: 2,510

URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4849197/35/

Belonging, Ch. 1-8

I am LOVING this story so far. You have presented an E/B love affair with a whole new set of external deterrents.

To start, I love that Bella reacted to Alice and Edward initially how most modern teenagers would react to the Amish ways. Especially one who has been raised to be a skeptic. It was great to see her grow and learn in their presence. That she became more open to new ideas despite her reservations.

I like the mystery of Esme, and am happily losing myself to the idea of angels among us as I read.

Finally, I am so happy Bella is going to visit her friends, and that their family is amenable to having her. I think she will find that she fits in better than she could ever imagine.

So happy to have been clued into your story!

A Rough Start, Ch. 1-15

This makes my heart hurt. You have once again created characters with depth, and a relationship that should be so easily, yet marred by life. Edward has been completely up-heaved from his life as he knew it. I think he is doing remarkably well being so ill equipped for this new role. Bella fell into this whirlwind unexpectedly, yet stands strong in the eye of the storm. Hopefully, her strength holds until they both find the strength to face everything they are fighting so hard against.

For now, Edward's in T-R-O-U-B-L-E! LOL!

Unwrapped, Ch. 1

Is it hot in here, or is it just your fic?! You know, you warned me about fic cliches, but it wasn't off putting. The only thing I have trouble wrapping my brain around in these type of fic situations, is that in my mind, Edward would never share Bella in a million years. I am open minded enough to let that reservation go when it is written well.

Each pairing was it's own special brand of lovin'. Poor Esme got left out of the fun. Nobody, apparently, wants to fuck with their mom around.

You do write some hot smexin', though, girl!

The Trip Home, Ch. 1-5

Lookie who is late to the party, but has finally arrived!

There is a lot of passion and heat in this story. The scenes between the three of them are at their hottest, when you are writing about one of them watching the others. The way you describe their emotions, and what they are witnessing, really puts me in the moment.

But you also, without a doubt, have convinced me of how much love there is here. Edward and Jasper are so obviously in love, and that love is branching out to include Bella.

This journey will not be an easy one, I am sure, and they rarely end in a way that everyone is happy. I shall happily enjoy the ride no matter how it goes. :)

Fourteen, Ch. 1

I like what you have introduced with this story, but my eagerness to hit the next chapter link to keep reading was marred by the fact that you already gave away that Edward is going to redeem himself. I can't buy into the Edward you have set up, because you told me he is going to shift. Therefore, his character has lost his arch.

You are such a great story teller. I want to take the journey you create as you unfold it to me. :)