Summer SmutDown 2009 Summer Lovin'
Better late, than never, right?
I really enjoyed this story. Nothing like a pining for you silently love affair to come to fruition on the beautiful islands of Hawaii! I loved how you pushed them to the breaking point. First the flirting. Then the kissing. Finally, dinner and the chucking of the cash on the table to rush back to the room to explode in a wonderous lemon.
And you had Edward wearing glasses! That makes the girly parts all happy. Then you coat that goodness with a dirty mouth. RIP, Bethie.
The only thing that threw me was the end. The jump to the "present" came out of no where, and surprised me a bit. I think if there was some sort of transitional indicator, that would have helped. Also, I didn't think the story needed it. If it was something you were really feeling, than I would just make the shift smoother for the reader.
Better late, than never, right?
I really enjoyed this story. Nothing like a pining for you silently love affair to come to fruition on the beautiful islands of Hawaii! I loved how you pushed them to the breaking point. First the flirting. Then the kissing. Finally, dinner and the chucking of the cash on the table to rush back to the room to explode in a wonderous lemon.
And you had Edward wearing glasses! That makes the girly parts all happy. Then you coat that goodness with a dirty mouth. RIP, Bethie.
The only thing that threw me was the end. The jump to the "present" came out of no where, and surprised me a bit. I think if there was some sort of transitional indicator, that would have helped. Also, I didn't think the story needed it. If it was something you were really feeling, than I would just make the shift smoother for the reader.
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