Over The Top, ch 28

Beth OTT Soundtrack
--------------------
Can't Get You Out of My Head - Kylie Minogue (the start)
Take Off Your Cool - OutKast & Norah Jones (talking the 1st night)
Home - Michael Buble (when Edward is in Vancouver)
A Long Walk - Jill Scott (Edward photographing Jasper)
Policy of Truth - Depeche Mode (the break-up)
Turpentine - Brandi Carlile (when they apart)
I Love You - Sarah McLachlan (making love)
It Is You (I Have Loved) - Dana Glover (giving love a chance)
Turn Your Lights Down Low - Bob Marley (on the couch)
Crash Into Me - DMB (making love)

You know you are teh master word mistress of my happy heart. I can expound if you need me to, but you are exquisite, and you know it.

Poughkeepsie, Ch 57

Do I believe in true love? I do. Do I believe true love equals happiness? I do not. Life can step in and fuck up even that beautiful concept.

Can I state for the record, here and now, that I love Mouse? I want him to knit me up a blanket out of his the threads of his mysterious intelligence and cunning. Then wrap me up in it, pat me on the head, and tell me to "shut the fuck up already, and pass out".

As for Bella and Edward...run, bitches, run!

Poughkeepsie, Ch 56

"Mike couldn’t help feeling like he was headed into war wearing Peter Pan getaway boots and a gang of crotchlobsters."

Where the fuck do you come up with this shit?! I would like for one moment to live in your brain. I imagine something along the lines of the Mad Hatter's Tea Party up in there. You are a work out for my mental capacities, and all of this is said with reverent awe and wonder.

I can't help but agree that Merkin picked the wrong brother. Jasper, thinking Alice is in danger, is like unleashing the hounds of hell.

A House of Cards, ch 18

Is it out of the realm of responsibility as Jasper's Dom to allow the scene to continue even though he knows the sub is emotionally compromised? I guess it didn't stop him from flogging him before after his father died, and he knew he just wanted the physical pain to mask the emotional pain. Oh look at that, I just drew my own conclusion with my blathering. Once AGAIN, we find Jasper using stimulation of the flesh as an avoidance tactic when faced with great emotional pain and uncertainty.

I am either genius, or you are sitting there reading this shaking your head at my crazy.

Readjusted, Ch 26 - Epilogue

Chapter 26
------------
Finally catching up/finishing up with your slice of fantastic.

I love that Bella has this opportunity to achieve her personal dreams in Chicago. She deserves it. I don't think Mike is going to fight her too much. I have had a feeling for a couple chapters, that the skank doesn't like the kid, and would be happy to cut ties. Jackass.

And Edward said he loves her! I am so glad that confession was finally made on both parts. Also that Edward has become so comfortable and fatherly towards Matt.

Chapter 27
------------
Bella flying around the house like a crazy woman, barking at Matt SOOO reminded me of myself when I am in a cleaning frenzy. Especially if it is before company is coming.

I am so proud of Bella for sticking up for Edward, and cutting her dad's crap. Also, of Edward for defending her dad initially in the room. I hope Charlie heard that part, but all the same, they seem to have reached an understanding. I have a feeling Mike is going to leave walking funny tomorrow with Edward and Charlie around. hehehe

Chapter 28
------------
All a daddy needs is to see that his little girl is with someone who will protect her and care for her body and soul, and you are in.

I knew Mike was going to fuck up, but didn't see that little gem coming. The king of douchebaggery, that one. This incident gives Bella what she needs to make a clean break for all of them from him, and move to Chicago to live out her dreams with her family, Edward and Matt.

Chapter 29
------------
Edward constantly referring to Matt as his son made my heart swell. What a different man this is front the start of the story. He dropped everything, not for Bella, it was for Matt. And yes, him carrying an injured Matt was the sweetest thing ever.

Chapter 30
------------
What a wonderful ending to a wonderful story! Thanks so much for sharing it with all of us!

Epilogue
------------
Awwww...a girl. :-) That sucked that Edward wasn't there for the birth. How could you do that to him? Tsk. Again, thanks for writing this wonderful story!

Holding Out For You, Ch. 49

This chapter was a perfect culmination of everything this establishing family has been working towards. I loved the family moment with all five of them in bed. Then, Edward asking the kids for their blessing in asking Bella to marry him. Finally, the proposal in the spot that they met. It was the perfect ending to the perfect story. Thank-you so much for sharing!!

Sorry it took so long to tell you so!

Devil's Angel Outtakes, Ch. 2

Where was he when _I_ was 18?!

You know what the man on a bike does to my girly parts.

When he first took her outside, and to the side of the building, I thought he was going to nail her right then and there. Was kind of surprised by him taking her to the fancy hotel. I appreciate the gesture for Angela's sake, but I think she would have let him have her on the side of the building. hehehe

I can't wait for the full-length *cough* Bikeward story!

Edward Wallbanger, Ch. 3-4

Chapter 3
-----------
The line "“You smell like tequila and sexual repression Bella" made me want to roll over and conceive your love spawn on the spot.

...and Cockney fucking! Are you kidding me with this shit? You've got a wicked, funny brain, Alice, dear.

My favorite thing at this point is, though is that she is getting to know HIS sounds. Like she knew at the end when he was getting ready to come. If she ever gets her day in the sun, he is going to flip out when she knows his ins and outs. Literally.

Chapter 4
-----------
I forgot to mention it last time, though this chapter sort of shoots my statement to shit, but I love that Bella is confident and exceptional at her job. I like a strong Bella.

All your talk about her solo vacation, and exotic locations, needing Italian tile, makes me think that Bella and Mr. Wallbanger might end up flying somewhere (by chance) together. Maybe a little somethin' somethin' goes down. As Ms. Kim would say, "I'm the one who put the Range in the Rover."

If someone killed my O right before it happened, I would fucking crack skulls too. I was hoping she would go off and tell him just what he interrupted, and have him fall to his knees and finish the job. Or maybe that was my fantasy...

I can't believe you cliffied us. Tsk.

P.S. You kill me on Twigasm. Kill me ded.

The Dominant, ch 32-34

Chapter 32
------------
This is what happens when the mighty fall. This is what happens when you are emotionally Hugh Hefner, and suddenly come out into the light, and realize that you jumped into the sun too fast. That he was so far gone, that he almost burned down the library/house, made me gasp.

Thank God for brothers.

Chapter 33
------------
It was great to see Edward starting to ask the questions he should have been asking Peter long before he accepted Bella as his sub. He could have prepared himself better for the chastisement.

I loved seeing the lead up to "Don't leave, Bella" in Edward's eyes. His nervousness. His desperation. My chest actually felt tight with panic that you wrote so brilliantly as he realized she was about to walk out the door, and he hadn't had a chance to talk to her. Brilliant.

Chapter 34
------------
“Just so you know,” I whispered back. “If I’m ever honored enough to have you share my bed, we will not be having sex. We will be making love. The sweetest, most passionate love that has ever been made. But for now, I simply want to talk.”

This line is so fantastic, it made me twitch twice.

I loved watching Edward frantically try to come up with a gift for Bella before he landed on the box of cans. That was perfect. Then to see such a very different man sitting before Bella in the coffee shop compared to the one who sat behind the desk at the beginning. This one laid bare and scared and hoping. So great.

Finally, loved you on Twigasm. Glad to hear I am not the only non-planner when it comes to writing.

Art After 5, Ch 43

This is such a different Edward! I almost had to double check which fic I was reading, because our little boy is all grows up. This is a man Bella is in bed with, and no longer the timid boy who approached her at the art museum. He is so confident, and sure of himself. He knows what he wants, and there is no settling. I am head over fucking heels for this man.

Out of Her Head, ch 38

I am so happy that they are taking their chance on love, and their life together. I love that they recognize they both have faults, and everything won't always be easy, but they will work through it. They have a wonderful life ahead of them.

Thank-you so much for writing such a lovely story.

Brotherly Devotion, Ch. 5

I loved that they had this perfect weekend together. It was a glimpse of what life could be like for them. Yet, there is always there, looming over them, the fact that Bella is married. Not to Edward, but his brother. I hope this love is worth destroying their family, and possibly themselves over.

I like to believe it is, but things are not going to be pretty.

Wide Awake, Ch. 50

After all these two have been through, there shall be no more running. Edward rages, and instead of pushing himself into isolation, he keeps close to Bella in order to be near his center, and then he talks to Carlisle! Bella rages, and instead of ducking under her hood, she strips herself bare and exposes her insecurities and truth. What amazing transformations you have let us witness through your words.

I loved Bella's laundry list of things that they both do instinctually to care for each other. Her level-headedness when contemplating the future is a refreshing taste of realism.

Them in the shower was a beautiful moment of over coming fears and rediscovery of a lover.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, Ch 20

It is hard to stay angry at someone you love when you see them in so much pain. I am totally guilty of that.

I am glad when Jasper said he would go to rehab, that he phrased it indicating it was for himself. To get past his demons. If you rehab for anyone other than you and your health, you'll fail.

There are very hard times ahead. Despite promises, the future is so uncertain.

Restoration, Ch. 25

It is refreshing to read an Edward who is so completely in love with no apology or hesitation. Granted, his hesitation was in the past, but now he is willing to go all in with no fear. He trusts in their love and their future.

Hopefully whatever some certain masta beta is planning on throwing at us in the future, their love will be strong enough to get them through.

The Sacrificial Lamb, ch 20

I love the fact that everything was frantic and desperate, yet all encompassing with the sex. They have both been so pent up, that when one of the finally broke it was going to be exciting and passionate. That was hot, and I loved Edward's internal debate about the fellatio. Did you let the woman you love do this? hehehe

So Edward to go from sex to a gun lesson. Ha!

It will be interesting when, or if, they confess the true feelings behind the sex.

Tropic of Virgo, Ch 31

Favorite leftovers: Other than the obvious Thanksgiving, hubs steak and goat cheese quesadillas.

They both now, so what will this mean for them? How will this redefine them? Will it hurt harder the next time they fall, and there is no second virtual friend to go to for comfort and council?

The fact that you made them awkward, and Bella full of avoidance, was excellent, and written to show the true teenage animal when faced with something real. I thought it was interesting that Bella saw Edward in the words right away, but Edward struggled to see her in her virtual self.

Restoration, Ch. 24

I know you have set things up for drama ahead, but I am going to continue to lounge on the couch above Edward and Bella and wrap myself up in their happy bubble. Then I am going to be a total voyeur and watch them hammer like monkeys. ;-)

This chapter was tender and sexy and perfect.

The Doctor's Son, Ch. 2

Red and white? RED AND WHITE?! It's Scarlet and Grey! Show some respect, woman! ::wink:: Go Bucks!

I am so afraid that Jasper is selling himself short in this arrangement, Bella is being deceived, and Edward is lying himself by trying to do right by societal rules. I am happy that they feel they are getting what they need, but this is all a great slippery slope they are establishing.

It's sad to see something that could be permanent and special be shoved into the closet.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 17-19

Chapter 17
------------
I was so happy to see Bella and Rose finally have a moment. Rosalie needs to get over the past, and just want her brother's happiness. I think it is apparent when they are together that Jasper is happy and light when he is around Bella (even if it is a drug induced lie).

The insight in to the Grandparents Hale was interesting. It sounds like there might be an air of judgment and standards that the twins have grown up with that Rosalie was able to handle, but Jasper wasn't. It's always a culmination of things.


Chapter 18
------------
OK, a lot of this is my own skeletons, but...Damn Jasper to hell. I have a feeling he has been using since the first night he showed up on Bella's doorstep. Damn him for his lies and selfishness. Damn him for dragging her into his quagmire of self-destruction. Most of all, fuck him for making her love him, just to destroy himself, and in turn her.

::deep breath::

You wrote this chapter very well. The desperation of Bella at the thought something was wrong with Jasper. I love that you didn't sugar coat anything. I could smell and feel the puke. I could see the blood and lifeless body. It was raw and gripping. Great writing.


Chapter 19
------------
The truth revealed. The drug abuser is a liar. Shocking.

It was interesting to see everyone's reaction. Well, not shocking that Rose was angry and blaming Bella. It was very kind of Alice to come to Bella's defense. It was like sisters in arms. Edward's revelation was revealing as well. That there is part of him that still desires to be the one for Bella. That lingering piece of love that allows you to only want good for the other.

Carlisle and Esme were very kind to take care of Bella's physical needs, and equally kind in offering their support in the future.

Now we'll see what happens when Bella faces uncertainty.

The Sacrificial Lamb, ch 18

I think we have reached critical mass! Touching, midnight swims, dirty Scrabble. Someone is going to crack, and take the other down with them.

Edward brushing her hair, and then rubbing her back and shoulders sent shivers down my spine. Then him putting her to bed and giving her a soft kiss.

I have a feeling that all rules are out the window in the next chapter! Can't wait!

Derailment, Ch. 11-13

Chapter 11
------------
Edward is so sweet caring for Bella in his subtle ways. Presenting her with gifts and the things she needs in ways she will accept them, so as not to damage her already frail pride.

I love to see him becoming less solumn, and more cheerful, not just at the train station, but it appears to be bleeding over into other areas of his life.

Alas, with one action, their comfortable train station bubble is burst. It was especially heartbreaking, because she was waiting there with her special cake. He is not going to deal with this well, and it might impact their meetings, because Bella will also be nervous after this.


Chapter 12
------------
They ventured outside of the station! This was such a sweet chapter! I am so happy Edward found some nerve and let Bella know how he was feeling in a way that built her up, and it wasn't just about him and his feelings.

I love the evening you created for the two of them. It was a perfect "first date". It was in the moment, while also had Edward wishing for the future. Lovely, absolutely lovely.


Chapter 13
------------
Glad to hear you are on Twitter. I've been pimping your story there.

I love what you are doing with this story. I was angry with his family's reaction to Edward when he got home at first, he is a grown man. I get that a phone call would have been considerate, since it is out of character for him to stay out, but I do understand all their claims of his selfishness. He has lived a selfish existence until meeting Bella. Sometimes it takes meeting someone who you care for more than yourself to appreciate the others in your life. To want to participate in life.

What I don't like, is Edward doubting his self-worth. I worry he is going to keep Bella at arm's length because of it, and I am afraid his efforts to keep pushing things back to a platonic level will cause damage to her already frail self-esteem.

The Inspiration, Ch. 8

Finally they branch out beyond the walls of the museum! I am looking forward to see how their date goes down, and if it is revealed who Edward is. Then, will Bella be in awe, or feel betrayed?

I love the relationship you have set up with Jasper and Bella. I like stories where the two of them are close. It feels natural. Plus, it is nice to have an old friend. They can see where you are, and they know where you've been.

Guarding Edward, Ch 35-37

Chapter 35
------------
Better late, than never, right?! xo

I love how you depicted Edward's change. Instead of a solo brooding spouse, the whole family took part in easing Edward's transition. From Jasper's empath abilities, to helping him into the ice bath, it was nice to know everyone was there looking over him.

I like that you have Edward struggling as he learns to filter the voices in his head. I can't imagine how maddening that would be!

Finally, their first interactions with the wolves is very interesting. I can't wait to see what you do there!

Chapter 36
------------
Did you have surgery?! I feel especially guilty for not reading for a while, and to find out my Kathie has been unwell. :-(

First of all, congrats on the two award nominations! That is awesome, and well deserved!

I am happy that you made things peaceful between the pack and the coven. I like that they are planning on working together, and possibly playing together too. I always loved Seth, and especially the friendship he formed with Edward in the books. I am glad you decided to preserve that.


Chapter 37
------------
Thank goodness you are better!

This was the perfect place to end this story. It wrapped it all up nicely. I look forward to your epilogue.

The part with Esme, the wolves, and the cookies made me tear up a bit. I loved her as the mother figure. She is always painted as the weak link, but I see her has the glue. Everything would fall to pieces without her love bonding them all.

Thanks again for this wonderful story! I loved it!

xo,
Beth

A House of Cards, Ch. 17

This is such a different man, I was thinking from the start of TFR, but than even the one at the start of this story. He smiles. He hopes. He remembers. I love that he was so forthcoming with Esme, as much as he could be. It is interesting that it is she that pointed out the passion with Jasper.

What interests me now, is in what order will, or should, these many conversations he "needs" to have go down? He is right that all of these conversations will change the course of all the relationships in his life.

Anything but Conventional, ch 24

Aw, damn. Busted! I am sorry that their wonderful night had to be tainted by Charlie discovering their rouse. As lovers operating under a ticking clock, Bella being grounded in anyway is not going to help anything. Especially, after Charlie said he would give Edward a chance, that is all going to go south at that moment.

It will be interesting to see how he reacts.

A House of Cards, Ch. 16

I am starting to wonder when Jasper and Edward are going to talk, and come clean with what they are feeling. Something has to happen soon, before they cause permanent damage to their relationship.

When Edward first shot forward on the couch, when he realized that he had emotion accompanying the act, and it reminded him of the time with Jasper, I thought he was going to leave and rush home and tell Jasper what he had been feeling/realizing. I'm glad he didn't.

Your sex scenes are hot, I don't need to beat that dead horse (hehehe). But I love how tender they are with each other. Mike only shows concern and affection for Edward. There is nothing cheap or disconnected in what they are doing. He is doing this because it is Edward. I am happy Edward is allowing himself to reciprocate the feelings as well. Then he called him "Baby" in an meditated moment. Edward deserves this happiness. I hope it continues.

Art After 5, ch 39-42

Chapter 39
-----------
Letter writing is totally therapeutic. Even if you never intend on getting a response, it is healthy to get feelings out. I write out letters all the time to people. Some I send, others I burn.

"I never lied to you."

Ouch.

Chapter 40
-----------
It hurt my heart to see such a bitter Edward. I guess it is especially defeating re-reading this today after re-reading Counterpoint for reviewing this morning. To go from the innocence and joy of the boy in the early chapters to this jaded man in the diner. It makes me physically ache.

Chapter 41
-----------
I can't believe you killed Carlisle!!! Way to blindside us all with complete heart fail. This is so devastating for the Cullens. Esme lost the love of her life. Edward lost, not only his dad, but his best friend. It says something to see Edward turn to Bella for comfort, but it scares me at the same time. Is he turning to her and asking her never to leave because he really wants her forever, or is he desperately clinging to the familiar in light of his whole foundation being shattered? The latter will lead to major issues down the road.

Chapter 42
-----------
Now the question remains, did Edward not blush because of the confidence he has gained during their time apart, or because there is now an emotional detachment between him and sex?

I want these two to be back together as much as the next person, but as of right now, their roles are reversed. Bella is now giving everything, and is telling herself she is satisfied with whatever little bit Edward is willing to give. They are right back into an unhealthy relationship.

Tropic of Virgo, Ch. 30

Q: How many amoebas does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One. No, 2. No, 4. No, 8. No, 16. No, 32.......

They figured it out! I like how you revealed it in Bella knowing the lyrics to a song Edward hadn't shared with her...that he knew of. Only the second time ready through did I realize that when he asks how she is, she responds "extraordinary". :-)

How is this going to shift their universe? What happens when you have fallen in love with two people and discover that, they are in fact, one in the same? Exciting times ahead!

Hiding In Plain Sight, Ch. 18

They love each other!!! I love how you have gradually brought them together emotionally and physically. Edward has shown how he feels towards Bella through this by keeping the breaks on and making their physical relationship about building trust and intimacy. He wants forever, and no doubt his long hours away are in preparation to follow her anywhere.

I have a feeling some stuff is going to go down before the Feb. trial date. I assume that J. Jenks recognizes her from her Volturi days after you have made a point of how much she was a face of the company. Holds my breath for what is in store.

Hopefully we get some sweet lovin' in first. ;-)

Counterpoint, Ch. 4-6

Chapter 4
-----------
In so many ways, Edward is much more emotionally mature than Bella. They are both shining examples of the effects of nurturing, or lack of, parents. Edward is comfortable with who he is. He is able to make rational decisions, even in the heat of the moment and in the sight of boobies, because he knows what he is worth and what he deserves.

Bella lives so much in the temporary and distant, because that is all she has ever known. Edward is the first person, in a very long time, who has told her she is worth so much more than that.

Chapter 5
-----------
LOL line: "Consequently, if my balls got any bluer, I would have to tattoo them with the numbers two and ten."

It is interesting to see that Edward is as conscious of their age difference as Bella is. At least when it comes to his mother. He is learning those lessons now that we all do at that age, avoidance leads to trouble.

This is almost painful to read now, his plans for the future, because of knowing what is coming.

Chapter 6
-----------
I loved how formally Bella spoke in Edward's fantasies. It was almost textbook. Bella, though being so emotionally immature at times, was very thoughtful and caring of Edward and letting him know that arousal was nothing to be embarrassed about. She is a very gracious teacher as far as that subject goes.

What a trying time for Esme. Time to start letting her baby boy take wing and make his own decisions, good or bad. I am glad that she is trying not to discourage, though, as a parent, she has valid concerns. It is interesting seeing Esme all Mama Bear. I love the fact she cusses like a sailor too.

Resident Geek, Ch 16

Of course Edward would be tutoring Bella in math! I have to admit that Edward at his calculator is one sexy thought. Those long, dexterous fingers flying over the buttons. You sure know how to push MY buttons. ;-)

Bella's patience with Edward is great. He's in uncharted waters. She has to realize that, like Edward is the teacher when it comes to math, she is when it comes to physical intimacy. I just hope her patience doesn't turn to frustration and cause them problems before they can turn bases.

Confessions of a Nanny, Ch. 7-9

Chapter 7
-----------
Now this is a Tanya I can wrap some hate around. I just feel sorry for Edward and Delilah that her selfishness has caused them both so much pain. Hopefully there is some healing on the horizon.

Speaking of healing, I think Edward is rocking some sexual healing. For now, it is solo. I still can't believe he watched her get off, that sexy, dirty daddy.

Can't wait to see what is up next!

Chapter 8
-----------
Being sexy in real life never works out quite as well as it does in romance novels and movies. I guess that is what I love best about your story. Things are not easy, or clean, nor do they go according to plan. People get hurt instead of fucked. They get shutdown just when they think that they are making progress. Real life is hard, and complicated. You display that so well in your story.


Chapter 9
-----------
The hole Edward has dug himself into is so deep now, that the Chinese are tickling his toes. He is hurting himself by not being truthful with Bella, but at the same time, I don't think he is completely at fault. I think he is so far removed from the game, that he has reverted back to a teenager in social graces. Everything with Bella has to be black & white. There is no place in his mind right now where the role she plays in his family, and the role he wants her to play in his life can live side-by-side.

So now, he has forced a date between his brother and the woman he desires. Way to go, douchnozzle.

Poughkeepsie, Ch 52-55

Chapter 52
------------
I don't think anything went RIGHT in this chapter. It was heartbreaking watching Edward so desperately try to be a man. He was knocked down at every turn. The fact that he was facing a man, who not only knew he was homeless, but had been charitable to him in the past. Then he has to walk away from Bella to hold onto his last shred of dignity. Then, it appears he walked in and possibly heard any part of that conversation between Bella and Charlie. ::exhale::

I can't fault Charlie for how he reacted. Going with the intel he had, even if he knew that this man was Bella's other half in this life, I would still show all the same concern he did.

Glad to hear that Alice is in the hospital. At least, for now, she is alive.

Chapter 53
------------
Emmett in the bank was one of the funniest things I have read in a while. Especially reading the FF over the woman's shoulder! So great. A tribute to all of us who read are pervy porn in inappropriate places. :-)

Then you do a 180 on us, and give us intense and passionate Emmett as he thinks that Rosalie blew up with his building. That was intense.

Chapter 54
------------
I knew Rosalie would figure it out. She's a smart cookie, that one. I loved the reunion with the two of them, and their escape. The joy was short lived though, after we get the text about Jasper. You're going to kill him, aren't you. Don't tell me. I just have a feeling. Wouldn't the irony be that it is only the two "evil doers" who get their HEA.

Chapter 55
------------
The best part about the interview. The fact that you treated Emmett how any of us would treat someone who just crawled through our window wearing a fancy ass suit. WTF?! I liked that you maintained your bad ass attitude throughout.

For a second there, I thought Edward was going to go all Teineman Square monk on us. I am so glad you didn't...yet. He definitely went a direction I wasn't expecting. Just as I thought he would desperately cleave to the familiar, his comfort items. He sends those bitches up in flames instead.

I am so sorry for Edward that he heard what Bella was saying, and didn't hear the truth or motivation behind the words. What will his next move be? Maybe it is best, for Edward, to get a clean start somewhere else.

I am curious if it is Mouse following Edward at this point or the ne'er-do-well crowd.

Counterpoint, Ch. 3

I love this story from Edward's perspective, because internally, he is completely the 17 year old boy. We get to see all the self-doubt and erections behind the cool, external bravado. I love that he's checking out her tits in the cold museum and has an erection while they are waltzing.

Then, there are his tender and thoughtful moments, like sending her the picture of the rainbow attached with the fact that he is missing her.

Fav LOL line: "My father believes in love at first sight, and my mother thinks he's full of shit."

Hydraulic Level 5, ch 18

It is interesting in reading this chapter, that I realize that Bella is still a little girl in the eyes of the Cullens. They are all still, and always have been, coddling her "for her own good". Instead of letting her experience the pitfalls her life had taken, they buffered it and cheated her out of the pain she needed to feel in order to heal. They really know nothing of the woman she is. Not Esme and Carlisle. Not Edward. Even Rosalie, who is supposed to be her friend, is trying to pressure her into an unknown situation. A situation that could be potentially emotionally damaging for two people.

I know E/B are in the midst of this opening up, but I hope this awakening, not knowing what demons and emotions it will draw forth, does not cloud the wedding.

Hydraulic Level 5, Ch 17

It is amazing how a relationship that started as love in it's purest and truest form, which is the shadow that remains and clings to their souls, can shatter to the ground when all the rest is based on deceit. No matter how many good intentions the deceit is built upon. It seems that the two of them have consistently made decisions for the other, based on what they perceive the other wants, or thinking that they were somehow better caring for the well-being of the other in doing so. What tangled webs...

The line, "Never once did I tell you I didn’t want you", had me choking my heart back into my chest.

Over The Top, Ch 27

This chapter left me feeling intrusive, like I should be turning my gaze away from such an emotionally intimate moment. Your writing once again wraps me up in the moment. I can feel the couch. I know that feeling of being physically intertwined with another. I have looked into someone else's eyes and have seen love shine out with the intensity that your writing conveys when Edward looks at Jasper.

I loved the euphoria of Edward after they met his parents. This is such a different man from the start of the story. THIS man deserves Jasper. That Edward is so open to love, and that his cup is filling up with it is intoxicating as a reader. I want to dance in the front yard with them!

I like the humorous note you left it on, though. God help Edward when he meets Rosalie and Momma Whitlock! :-)

A House of Cards, ch 15

I have to start this off by saying how much I love Mike in this! I was expecting him to kind of roll over to Edward's dominant personality, but instead, he flipped that right around and didn't let Edward sully what they have started here with sex that wasn't even going to be about them. That was fantastic. I love how he is firm, but gentle with Edward. I love these two together. As much as I LOVE Edward and Jasper together, I think this is a healthier arrangement for them both.

Bella safe wording is an interesting twist. It fits her personality. She is a bit of a motherer, so it would kill her to see any of her boys in real pain or fear. So, in a way, it is natural for her to end her scene, so she could care for Jacob. On the other hand, she has never safe worded before. But, the safe words, and correct me if I am wrong, are about your comfort, and are their when you can't physically take a scene. Bella ended this for emotional reasons, and not her own.

Over The Top, ch 26

Aw, starfish, angel.

You are a master of timing in your story. You have a sense for how long to make distances and angst last before bringing it back around to reunion. Your characters are intelligent and reasonable. Jasper is honest in his trepidation, and Edward is wise to know it is deserved. You have made Edward sincerely repentant and desirous of being deserving of someone like Jasper. Jasper, in turn, is willing to be forgiving hoping that the payout for giving his heart over to love will be a lifetime of rewards.

I look forward to these two coming back together at a gradual pace last time. The first time was a ball of flames (no pun intended), and it is the reason they both crashed so hard. A gradual climb, this time, will established a firm and communicative relationship.

Tropic of Virgo, Ch 29

Best Halloween costume: probably one of the ones my dad made for me when we were poor when I was little. He made me an angel once with a yard of blue fabric with a hole cut out for my head, tied around my waist with a gold rope. Then he cut out wings out of a cardboard box, and covered them in tin foil. Tin foil halo too. :-)

I'm ready to punch these two in the head. At this point, I feel they DON'T deserve to be together. They are both secretive and distrustful. Being together, no matter what the chemical magnetism, is destructive. It's time for these teenagers to grow up a bit, and be forthright, or just walk away.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 16

I am thankful that Bella didn't put her head in the sand when things got rough. This is the truth of an addict. Especially one who might be in any type of withdraw or craving. They are mean, and they don't give a fuck who they are mean to in the moment.

Jasper asks to be trusted, but can't expect his past to be ignored. It is part of who he is. HE made choices, and now he must live with what those choices mean for those who love him. I hope he is being sincere about trying to get help, because if he is lying to placate Bella, that is a worse sin than calling her a meddling bitch.

The Sacrificial Lamb, ch 18

Now the question is, did she really take off, or is she pouting it out in the safe room? I know she is upset, but she is not stupid. She knows the outside world is not safe for her.

I love your twist on a classic Edward personality trait of making all the decisions for Bella on what is best for her, and only pulling his head out of his ass when it is almost too late and they both are in danger.

Art After 5, ch 37-38

Chapter 37
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How often we protect ourselves when we are going through some negative emotional extreme by merely existing. That is a hard cycle to break from. Luckily, Bella is in therapy at this time, because it is probably the only thing that will keep her from losing herself in herself.

Bella has had the first glance that she is not quite the puppeteer that she thinks she is. That she can't control the hurt of others or how they exist when not in her presence.

Chapter 38
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Bella came off as very petulant at the beginning of the chapter, and then I realized that, emotionally, she is stunted. She is frozen as the confused girl who was rejected by her mother. Love or loyalty is absolute in her mind, and that is selfish and childish.

I am so glad you had Edward be emotionally withdrawn and borderline indifferent to Bella at the bris. She doesn't deserve his attention or the right to request his audience. She, of all people, should know that forgiving someone you love who has rejected you so outright is not something that you can do on the turn of a dime. She is a bit of a hypocrite for expecting it of him, when she can't even bring herself to write the letter she will never send to her mom as Tanya suggested.

Poughkeepsie, Ch 51

Not good...not good...UNLESS, Rosalie is on her way to the rescue. She is my one ray of hope. Part of me thinks that she is wise to what is going on. She is not one to be caught off guard to what everyone's motives are.

If not, there always seems to be collateral damage around the bad seeds. As what is being planned by James, those close to the source are the ones who get hurt, and not the person themselves. So, I am fully prepared for this to end badly. Unfortunately, have seen to much of that in real life.

Poughkeepsie, Ch 50

Edward playing out on that keyboard the songs and sounds that equate what being with Bella is like was sensual genius. For a moment I forgot that they were in a kitchen on a little Casio keyboard. They were in their bubble, where it just the two of them. There is no external judgment about who each of them are, or their situations in life. They were two young people expressing their love for one another.

Then Charlie comes home, and **POP**...bubble gone.

Art After 5, Ch. 36

I think this was inevitable. Even with the excuses of Edward's age and his need for life experiences, this ultimately comes down to Bella's own experiences. I think part of her is ending this, because she fears that in the long run, she will be the one who is left.

I do believe that Edward's love for Bella is eternal, and I could feel that lump of pain slide from the hollow of my throat down my sternum as I read him sobbing and crying at the end.

I also believe in the old ad um, "If you love something, set it free..."

A House of Cards, Ch. 14

J's Jealousy - natural when you see a lover taking on another, especially one that might connect emotionally/mentally, as well

J's options: 1) continue to pout yet keep status quo, 2) be supportive of his friend, 3) realize he loves Edward more than Bella, 4) selfishly try to keep Edward for himself & Bella too, 5) rage and ask Edward to leave

Whatever the end result, I hope the two of them talk soon.

Looking forward to E's hot date!

The Dominant, ch 28-31

Because I am still trying to un-bury myself it wonderful updates from vacation and death, this is a culmination review of Ch. 28-31.

The snow storm chapters were so fascinating from Edward's perspective, because they are full of such doubt and self-loathing. It is interesting to see in this part of the story, though Bella is the submissive on the outside, she is the Dom emotionally. To counter that, while Edward is still exuding externally the Dom facade, he is the one desperate for guidance.

Chapter 30 was so emotionally powerful from Edward's eyes, it was almost heartbreaking. To deny yourself romantic love your whole adult life, and then to find it in a place your rule book dictates it doesn't belong, would be earth shattering. Then to finally allow yourself to let go and dare to dream to have everything that would guarantee your happiness. I can't imagine the immense weight that lifted from him in that moment.

Of course, all euphoria is an arc, and there is a down to the climb. Chapter 31 was like watching someone you care for step in front of a bus in slow motion. Part of you feels like there is something you can do to stop them if you say the right thing or move quick enough. Then you are struggling to comprehend why they feel they don't deserve life (or a life of happiness and love, in this case). You don't want to watch, but you can't look away.

Now for Chapter 32... ::reaches over holding Tara's hair back and soothingly rubs her back:: Go ahead, bb. I'll see you through this one.

The Sacrificial Lamb, ch 12-17

You would think that with my shitty rate of review lately that I have abandoned your story, but it is not true! I have read it all, but RL has thrown wrench after wrench in my reviewing time. I have rec'd it 3 times this week on Twitter alone! Yours is a story I pounce on as soon as I see it in my inbox. ::fangirl moment over::

I have loved their time in the cabin. It comes to no surprise that they get on so well, and are finding their groove in a more normal environment. You write the sexual tension so well without it slipping in the face of each other.

This last chapter was heart wrenching. There is Bella ready to take that step just as Edward decides that now is the time to shut things down. It is interesting to see the difference in dealing with the fact that they are falling in love with each other. Bella keeps her emotional, and at times, physical distance at first, and then allows those boundaries to slowly fall. Edward is more sure of himself and cocky at first, and as the emotional connection deepens, he begins to push away.

We are left wondering if the truth will be revealed before good-byes must be said.

All I Ever Knew and More, Ch. 3

I've been missing these boys something awful. Thank-you for the one-shot, even if it was for PQ, I am happy you shared with the rest of us. Once again, you display why you completely OWN me with this story. Even amidst the hot, animalistic sex in this o/s, there is never separation from the love. The love you have created for these boys is encompassing. It is a tender cocoon of affection. No matter how rough and raw the expression of that love gets, it always has that soft edge.

Now who is going to spoon with me after that?

Over The Top, ch 24-25

Chapter 24
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::grabs blanket and curls up in the fetal position in the corner::

I have so much empathy for Jasper in this chapter. It is hard enough to walk away from someone, or in this case let someone walk away, who you love because you are not compatible, or the love is gone. To have to let go of someone you love because they might never make you happy, or give you more pain than the love can heal. That is a devastating conversation to have with yourself.

We know Edward is sincere, but even those with the greatest sincerity might not be able to keep their promise in the thick of it.

Chapter 25
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I knew he was fantasizing/dreaming. I believed his sincerity in what he said to Jasper, and all his actions after being at his parents point towards changed ways. I FULLY appreciate the fantasy though...hot damn, girl. Was VERY happy to reread that one.

I am happy that Jasper got out and had some fun. He needed a little sloppy fun after the serious dinner conversation. I like Jack, too. I hope he sticks around, even in "just friends" form.

The Arrangement, Ch 21

The confessions have been made, and they had their moment in the bubble of their revelations. The fact that they sealed their declaration on the piano was perfect for them. Of course, it was going to be an extreme burst of passion, like a solar flare at first, and then it would remain a lingering heat. I have no doubt that their love is here to stay, and they are sincere, but they do have a disorientation of their lives to straighten out.

I'll curl up with them and enjoy the bubble moment for now.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 15

This is the Bella and Jasper in a bubble I love. They are just being themselves. Relaxing, teasing, living, loving. The only awkwardness was when Jasper was considering being something he is not. Falsity has no place in their relationship and world, though now, Jasper is going to have that seed planted, and trying to figure out how to balance who he has been, and who he wants to be.

The pool moment was hot, and I loved how their confession of love unfolded. Taunting, exhuming, tender.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 14

These two are a roller coaster of communication issues. First they are completely honest about what went down at the party and how they feel about it. Then they both bury their heads in the sand waiting for the other to go running. I am starting to think they BOTH need to see a therapist.

This chapter was heartbreaking in the fact that neither of them trust themselves to be good enough for the other. I hope they will realize they are. That if the communicate and face their issues, they are perfect together.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 13

I hate to admit it, but Alice does make some solid points. Bella has seen Jasper relapse, but only momentarily. God forbid she ever truly see him fall of the wagon hard. I am sure Alice has. Will Bella be strong enough, love him enough, to see him destroy himself, and their relationship?

Once again, I find myself hoping that Jasper will come to love Bella enough to want to put every effort into fighting his demons and remaining healthy for himself and her...for them.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 12

I loved the comfortableness of the guitar playing at the start of this chapter. It is a perfect example of their easiness together, when they are left to relax and just be themselves. This is how I picture life would be for them.

Brunch was great, and I fell in love with this Bella all the more the moment she removed that God-awful picture and dumped it in the trash. If that was not a testament to her growing love for Jasper and her willingness to leave a person's past there, I don't know what is.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 11

Bella's freak out is classic.

I am glad they have at least one supportive friend from Jasper's side of the line. J needs a friend. I am not surprise to find Bella withholding from Emmett with the truth, but I don't put it past her to call him in the future.

A House of Cards, ch 10-13

Chapter 10
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I thought this was such an important moment for Edward. Not only becoming comfortable in his own skin, but to say it out loud. Then, leaving himself vulnerable to his mother, he is met with love and acceptance.

This chapter left me with such a feeling of weight being lifted, and not just from his realization that he is attracted to men, but that this whole family was destroyed, and not just the direct victim. But it was clear they were all looking to heal and reform, and Edward's willingness to be part of that restructuring gripped my heart.

Chapter 11
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I know you have people on the fence on this character, but I fucking love that this love interest is Mike. I always thought he got a bum wrap in the canon. He is really a very compassionate character, who just never gets his chance. I am happy to see that he is the one who will gently take our Edward on his first date, because I know he will make it special.

I see that Edward is holding back when it comes to Jasper about this. I smell trouble ahead.

Chapter 12
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I loved this first date! Edward so deserved such a relaxed and easy day. I guess that is the thing that has struck me so far with Mike and Edward. Everything is easy. There is something to be said for that type of relationship where there is no struggle to make everything connect.

I can't wait for them to go out again, and how everyone at home reacts.

Chapter 13
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Why is it after a hot session, I am just feeling my heart break for Jasper? Don't get me wrong, in the moment, you know I like the double mouth action, but a contemplative Jasper caught in his mind staring out a window...breaks me.

It seems like someone in this group is always hurting. I guess that is what you get with a 3-person love dynamic. I think Edward and Jasper are just in denial about how truly deep and strong their bond is. I just hope they can work through it and not lose their friendship.

Stay, Ch 34-38

I really enjoyed this story. I love how you gave them the powerful love, but kept the relationship, itself, real. You never tried to glamorize what his career meant for their relationship, or that an enduring love equals sunshine and roses every day. You gave us the bliss and the fighting, and I loved every word of it.

Thanks for sharing this with us!

The Highwayman, Ch 8

Bella is finding herself getting twisted up in many webs this chapter. She has to keep her own secret of her liaisons with the Highwayman. Next she has to keep the secret of James and Victoria, because James can only mean discontent for her and those she cares for. Finally, she has to hold the fact in her heart that she is going to hurt and disappoint her dear friend when she is forced to admit she does not return his affections.

I do feel a bit cock-blocked by the end of this chapter. I was anxious to see how Edward acted towards Bella in the presence of Esme and Charlie. Next chapter?

The Office, ch 15

This chapter reminds me of what makes your lemons so fantastic. It's your descriptions! The detail and care you give every movement and touch, the great length (snicker) you take in describing each kiss and sensation, truly puts the reader right into the moment. I literally have teeth marks on the knuckle of my left index finger from biting it so I whimper aloud.

I love how open they are being with what they are feeling for each other. With the rough waters ahead, I hope they can maintain their communication level.

The Highwayman, Ch 7

Real life has kept me from reviewing, but here I am now!

Let me start off by saying how much I absolutely LOVE this story! I am so thrilled to see you updating again! I knew you would be back. ::wipes tear::

I love watching Edward dance back and forth between his public persona and that of the Highwayman. I was anxious to see how he would act if he ran into Bella. Luckily, his jealousy just came across as aristocratic airs.

As for the end of this chapter, that one gets tucked away in the spank bank for later. ::fans self::

Coming to Terms, Ch 23

I am so happy that she is opening up. That she is not completely trusting yet, but she is taking the chance on Edward. Their conversation was full of the confessions and honesty we have needed from day one. These two have really grown so much through this story. This baby is going to be so loved!

Another wonderful update!

The Inspiration, Ch. 7

J.R. Ward has me ignoring my story and updates too! Which book are you on? I just finished BDB: Book 3.

Edward is growing, and not just in his pants. He is desiring something more than a good time from Bella. I thought he just might ask her to dinner or something after the museum. I liked the kiss, though.

Once again, I love your unapologetic man of an Edward. He makes me laugh. Though I worry about the health of the peen.

Kick the Tires and Light the Fires, ch. 10

I had to catch up before resuming my beta duties.

I love how calm and cool you made Bella when dealing with the reveal. I also like that you made the wolves and vampires more civilized when dealing with each other. No immediate threats, and they can be in a room together and talk.

I am surprised that Edward was so forthcoming with his intentions, and Bella is reacting almost nonchalant about it. I am hoping she makes Edward work for it. ::wink::