An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy, Ch. 8-11

I love in the construct of this story, you have allowed for every awkwardness of youth. Especially when Alice gives Edward whatever ill advice led to the Valentine's Day disaster. At that age, it is so easy to believe someone who you feel has more experience than you, when they tell you that you need to change or doing it differently would be better. Thank goodness for Bella's perception.

My favorite thing about the two of them is their ability to flourish together as themselves. Nothing could be a more powerful first step into love than being loved for exactly who you are.

It will see how these two evolve in high school. If Edward will abandon childhood interests. If new social opportunities (clubs, sports, etc.) will change who they are. Looking forward to more!

Devil's Angel, Ch. 22-27

NO TEASER! LOL! My reputation precedes me.

These are the chapters where the shit hits the fan. I have to say that I had started suspecting Carlisle once I found he was the one handling the Volturi, but Chapter 22&23 had me sold. I love it when I am right! ::wink::

Edward most certainly has nine lives, and it hurts my heart to see him always in the position where the ones he loves are hurt and killed around him. I hope that now that Carlisle has confessed, he can escape the demons that have been haunting him his entire adult life. He has been shackled by the heavy unanswered murders of his parents, but now he is free of that. What will Edward be like when he is unburdened?

I am so happy that you had Bella relatively uninjured. That would have been just another chain around his neck. Hopefully the Volturi will point all fingers and blame at Carlisle, then Edward and Bella can begin to create a future together. A place where they don't have to be haunted by the past and looking over their shoulders.

Femme Docs and Kevlar Knights, Ch. 1-16

I am really enjoying this. This relationship between Edward and Bella is long and complex. It has had my heart clinching several times, afraid that they would always be stumbling with each other and having "wrong" moments.

I like this set up that when they first met, Bella was underage and untouchable. That for years they have masqueraded this sibling relationship, due to their start, all the while, both of the saw it or desired for it to be more (despite Edward being in denial).

I also love that Bella is a strong, intelligent woman in your story. She is capable and independent. She doesn't NEED Edward for anything but his love. It makes the emotion of this story so much stronger.

I was kind of confused when I hit Chapter 16 to find we hadn't even reached the epilogue, because the fic is marked as "complete".

The Training, Ch. 17

I love the conversations you write around meals. Whether they be in the dining room, kitchen table, or on pillows in the library, it seems that you see more shades of their character in these moments than in any others. Even here, when they are in their rolls, you can feel the tenderness through the formality. I love these moments.

The trust between them is becoming stronger and stronger. I can mostly feel Edwards desire for her to trust herself. I think he knows she trusts him, but is still so unsure of herself. She still seems hesitant on what this means to him. In time.

The Best Man, Ch. 1-25

I have to start out by saying that I haven't cried this hard about a fic...ever. I had to stop reading at the end of each of the last 5 chapters, because I was absolutely body-racking sobbing. I was devastated over the end of this story, which speaks greatly of the characters you created in the first 20.

I fell in love with Bella and Jasper's friendship. I felt it. I was jealous of it. I felt their love for one another, but never felt that it was more than what it was. What a fantastic gift to have such a great friend.

Then the relationship between Edward and Bella had my heart constantly clinching in a mixture of frustration and their hurt through ignorance of each others feelings. I am happy that they found their way to each other in the end. It hurts to see the catalyst.

I have to say the end was hauntingly real. When I was in 8th grade, my neighbor and best friend's dad died. I found out when I got home from school, and in a desperate dash to get to her, I took off running across the lawn. It was a rainy day, and I slipped and fell the wet grass. To see Bella do the same, while also in so much confusion and pain was a vivid flash back to that day.

Thank-you for writing such real characters. There was real humor, real pain, and real love.

Counterpoint, Ch. 29-32

I don't know whether I was embarrassed by my lack of memory or pleased that I was so engrossed with Counterpoint to remember that I already knew this story line, but I completely forgot about Kate! What a pleasant surprise when she emerged, and I was instantly excited to read how their relationship developed.

I have to say, now that I have spent some time with her, forgetting how they are both coming out of a loss of a great love, I like these two together. She is smart and caring of Edward. I love that he is starting to let someone else in. I find myself cursing the fact that I know this relationship is not going to last. I almost don't want Bella to return.

Edward is very caring of her. Part of me wishes that he had met Kate first, but alas, she would still be the broken spirit she is. I am enjoying the great care you are taking in writing their emerging relationship.

Expectations and Other Moving Pieces, Ch. 1-24

The last time I read 24 chapters straight without stopping to review each chapter was Behind Enemy Lines by adoreablecullens. So it has been a while since I was so enthralled in what I was reading that I couldn't make myself stop until I had read everything there was to read.

Your writing has that perfect balance of revealing elements of the story while keeping the majority of their past a mystery. After 24 chapters, you have your readers talking and speculating what it was that he can't forgive. Was it an affair (I'm thinking no)? Was it years of indifference? Was it Bella declaring to Jake on her wedding day that she would never love Edward (which he over-hears)? Just some guesses, but I don't want to know until I read it.

In my opinion, indifference is the most hurtful emotional abuse you can subject someone to. With anger or rage, there is at least emotion behind it. You can cling to the thought that this person feels SOMETHING, because of the fire of the emotion. Indifference is an emotional purgatory, that I think takes a LONG time to recover from. A long time before you remember what it is like to allow yourself to feel.

They are moving towards something at the moment. I'm not sure what, but I am happily along for the ride. I am buckled in and captivated.

An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy, Ch. 6-7

Chapter 6
----------
I am so happy that Bella has another friend now. It is important for a person to have someone to confide in, and not just a diary. Another human to hear our thoughts and react to them. Give us perspective.

Edward was so sweet on their date, even though all of his plans were not executed to his satisfaction. The fact that he AND Carlisle were dressed up was awesome. I love how supportive Edward's parents, and grandmother, are of him. I think it is one of the things that make him such a good and self-confident young man. I don't think his social awkwardness comes from a lack of faith in himself, but in others.

Edward asked permission to court Bella! On the first day! HAHAHA! What a sweetheart.

Chapter 7
----------
I love this Edward. From his literal by-the-book approach to talking to Charlie, but just him in general. I love his manners and slighted dated way of social requirements. I am sure the stems from his Tolkien fascination (who wrote the books in the early 20th century).

I like that you had Charlie misunderstand Edward's purpose at first. It added humor to the situation, and it made Edward go "off script". For that moment, before he could collect himself, he was that 13 year old boy.

Wonderful outtake!

An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy, Ch. 1-5

Chapter 1
----------
I think I like these two already. Socially awkward. On the edge of innocence, when kissing someone is your greatest fantasy.

The detail of the business card is hilarious. That one small item gives a clear picture of Edward's personality. He is a shy, but serious boy. More comfortable talking online, than face-to-face. WAIT! Is this based on my husband?! LOL!

Looking forward to a walk down memory lane (only computers we had were Apple IIEs w/ Basic. hehehe

Chapter 2
----------
Yeah, there was no texting in middle school. Hand written notes with LYLAS on every signature. I'm old. ;)

I can remember my 8th grade dance and only one boy asked me to dance. Three years later that boy would become my first love. He saw me when no one else did. I think Bella is feeling a bit of that too, but in her case, she is already "in love" with Edward. I was very sad that she wasn't confident enough to deny Alice, or aware enough to see that Edward only wanted to dance with her. :(

Chapter 3
----------
I think we all went through the phase in middle school when we are trying to look and feel older than we are. I could take Renee out back for an ass whooping after this chapter. What kind of parent tells a middle schooler to sex up her appearance?! Thank God for Ms. Evans giving her the advice and saying the things her mother should have said. All a girl needs is to be told every day that she is beautiful just the way she is. When she is older, when it is important, she will believe it, and it will give her power.

So happy that Edward and Bella have reconciled. And of course Edward has his own successful on-line t-shirt business!

Chapter 5
----------
I had a feeling that the investor was going to be a family member. :) I love that it is grandma, and that she is a Trekkie. It was one of those wonderful nut/tree scenarios. I spent a great deal of time with one set of my grandparents growing up, and Edward & Mrs. Evans seem to share a similar relationship. Makes me miss them, but shows how real your characters are to your readers when they can see themselves in the relationships you create.

Looking forward to date night!

The Misapprehension of Bella Swan, Ch. 2

Bella has a mouth on her when she is inebriated. Or is this just Bella in this story? If it is just drunk Bella that has no filter and cusses like a sailor, she is going to be mortified in the morning. If this is Bella all the time, it might get a little trying the amount she swears.

I am fascinated to this off-the-ice Edward who seems to be a decent guy, though his charm is remiss on drunk Bella. Looking forward to seeing him through sober eyes.

I did almost yell out loud, "The door. The door! THE DOOR!" When she walked out of the hotel room.

Yesternight, Ch. 1

The first part of this chapter read a little clipped to me. I think it was the single sentence statements following each other. Then when you got to the fight with Maria's coven, things became detailed and as smooth as his movements through the fight. So I am wondering if the beginning was so disconnected, for lack of a better word, was done on purpose.

By the time we got to the fight, I didn't have the emotional investment between Carlisle and Edward that I wished I had. It would have made Edward's desire to get to Carlisle and save him all the more powerful.

I like what you have set up here, though, plot wise. Looking forward to see where this goes.

The Naked Guy Upstairs, Ch. 21-22

Chapter 21
-----------
This chapter is full of the fun and clever banter I have come to love and expect from you. It's a lesson on keeping up, and it is like watching the final match at Wimbledon, where your head is turning back and forth as words are volleyed by two smart minds.

I like this turn of events in Bella's possible career path. You never know when you find what truly makes you happy. Your job should have to be work.

Finally, grandmother down! I see Bella acting as a bridge between this senile woman, and the man who is still a bit of the rejected boy.

Chapter 22
------------
I love how these two talk. I'm not just talking dialog and banter this time, I mean that they communicate. They listen, and really take into consideration what each other says. That is a rare and magical thing. THAT is what makes relationships last until death do you part.

The revisiting of the tent was perfect. The arc you have taken Edward on, that he is still on, has been wonderful to experience. Bella gives him a safe environment, an environment of trust. When you are in that, you are willing to try things like recreating the situation of your first kiss to do it better this time. Also, to think about giving an old woman a chance to make peace.

The Naked Guy Upstairs, Ch. 20

It's de-lightful. It's de-licious. It's de-lovely.

I love that you had this moment when they first honestly make love to be sprinkled with their trademark banter. It wouldn't have been them with out it. Their unique nature that just works is what has me imbibing the last 20 chapters.

No wonder Edward to be emotionally void. He has been without love for so long, but it is more than that, he has been living in a state of indifference since his mother died. Which explains the way he lived his life. I think that Bella struck him so from day one is that, though it was ire at first, she reacted to him with emotion.

The Naked Guy Upstairs, Ch. 19

Oh, ABG, I need to seriously just curl up and love on you a bit after that chapter. No words. Just snuggling.

This chapter was well played, friend. If you took the first half of this chapter out of context, you would assume you were watching the lives of a well established couple. Taking the MIL to the airport. Comforting the crying woman until she turns her tears into laughter. The protective caveman. Walking the halls of the hospital arm in arm, before pausing to do some kissing before parting ways. Hand fed dinner of leftovers before making love all over the place. It is all there in black & white.

I have to admit, when Bella came back to the table drunk, I was perplexed, and I like to think I am usually pretty astute. Then it all made sense. I would do my best to get drunk too, if I thought my happiness was about to walk away.

My heart was in my throat in those final paragraphs. Poor Edward floundering, wanting her to love him. The broken boy needing this woman he adored to just tell him he was loved. And she does.

And the Bethie was happy.

Stolen Singer, Ch. 10

I don't want a teaser, but I still leave love.

I love the way you are writing Edward and Bella's relationship at this stage of the game. Edward is patient with Bella who needs a calm hand as she works to figure out this new life, and her new self. You have them, emotionally, very much the age they are (or the age they were frozen in time, as the case may be). You take me back to those scared teenage days when you were afraid to tell someone you liked them for fear of rejection. It's going to take a moment for someone to be brave.

I love the jesting at Edward's expense that Carlisle did. That made me smile. :)

Time is ticking for this family, yet they can't really rush Bella either.

Gift for LolaShoes!
Layers

This story had a great softness to it. The kind of silence that a snowstorm puts on a place. Part of me felt like it was being whispered to me. No need to speak louder than soft voices, or it might break the serene atmosphere you created for this story. This story was a conglomeration of all my favorite comfort items on a cold day: tea, fire, sweaters, blankets, and a beautiful man. Then each moment and discovery between Bella and Jasper was like you handing me one of those items warming me inside and out. This was beautiful.

The Daily Grind, Ch. 14

I love a man who keeps his promises. ;)

Thank-you so much for sharing this story with us. I have enjoyed watching these two through their awkward moments and honest affair.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 41

One thing that I have loved about your story from the start is that watching these scenes and lives play out, there is a glow always around the outside, and that glow is the care you take with your characters. Even in their darkest hour, you manage to write in this aura of protection around them. As a reader, I feel that they and myself are always cared for.

So, in this chapter when many of these people are forced to relive their worst nightmares, I felt cocooned in the love they all have for each other, and the love you have in writing them.

Ride The Wind, Ch. 13

One thing I like about your Edward and Bella in this story is the fact that things between them are easy. Easy to fall in love, easy to stay in love, easy happiness. The only drama comes from the outside. I love how Edward protects and cares for Bella. Then he does things like this weekend away that shows that he is in tuned with what she needs.

This story only works with a young couple. A couple that has been married for some time, especially those that have kids, are well practiced at "being quiet". ;)

The Cannabean Betrothal, Ch. 17

You give great UST. I was gripping that pole right along with Edward!

I think they turned a corner in the last chapter. In this one, things flowed so much easier between the two of them. She knew when to step in to reassure or rescue him, and she more naturally turned to him for guidance/permission (which we all know he loves). He knew what would make her comfortable and he sought her opinions.

I anxiously await what the epiphany is at the end. I have my guesses.

The Naked Guy Upstairs, Ch. 13-18

Chapter 13
-----------
It would be difficult, if put on the spot, to describe the true essence of this relationship. None of the quick answers (neighbor, friend) would seem like enough, yet others (lover, girlfriend) would be an answer I wouldn't feel comfortable giving w/out Bella's permission first. Still, I understand her hurt, as well.

I love how they talk it out. The snark and teasing, but when it gets down to the business, they are all sweet and sexy.

I am guessing Edward 1) assumed she was asleep, or 2) was half asleep himself and didn't think about what he was saying.

Chapter 14
-----------
Part of me wonders if Edward is conscious that he puts Bella up on a pedestal. This element of his character hurts my heart. He won't let himself believe that just because he has a past, that it makes him heartless and unworthy of a honest love. I worry that Bella's irritation with him treating her like a china doll will make her crack. I hope not. He mistakes her inexperience with innocence. Just because a person has never acted on desires, doesn't mean they don't have them.

Emotional forecast: cloudy.

Chapter 15
-----------
Lure us into the happy with the cute interactions with cancer kids, the sexy smexin' after, the fun playing before the movie, and then SMACK US DOWN with the Twitter bust. LOL!

In this chapter, you really see Edward consider the emotions he is feeling for Bella. I think watching a person be so genuine, as Bella was being with the kids, really clues you into the type of person someone is. Then for him to want to connect with her physically after that, I don't think for him it was just a romp. I think that one held more emotion than any encounter to date.

Unfortunately, he finally got caught with his nose in her diary, so to speak.

Chapter 16
-----------
Bella epiphany: Edward has no experience with basic love related emotions. It's not that he is not having them. He is most certainly in love with her, but just doesn't know what names to give his feelings and actions.

Their love making was beautifully written. Sometimes it is best to leave the words out of it, and let the act be what it is. Experience the heightened sensations when it is shared with someone you love completely. Lovely, ABG. Absolutely, lovely.

Chapter 17
-----------
I am wondering if Renee might be the thing that breaks through all the words they are not saying, and in a motherly way make Edward understand what he is feeling. I shall see.

In the meantime, that elephant in the room seems to trip up every situation. Friendly banter and loving embraces are cut short by something not said or snappy retorts to mask the hurt of wanting to say more, be more.

Chapter 18
-----------
See...that Renee, she can really hold the mirror up.

I loved that Bella displayed that her need for Edward was as great and insatiable as his need for her. I think he needed to see that. But the thing I am most in love with is watching him fall in love with her with every ordinary and imperfect thing that is her. That is an unbelievably amazing ride to go on with him.

His wish stopped my heart. Love this chapter, bb.

Deep Dish, Ch. 8

I really enjoyed Jacey's POV. I am not surprised by any of the emotion he expresses, but I love it coming from a voice that is distinctly his.

I was kind of surprised there were no lemons, but the tenor of the chapter makes it fine without it. Though you did hit us with the knowledge they did sleep together after the planetarium, it fits with Jacey's southern gentleman personality to not kiss & tell during his chapter, if you know what I mean.

Counterpoint, Ch. 28

That chapter should come with a prerequisite drink. I can't take a crying Edward. It just hurts my heart.

I forget sometimes how direct and almost clipped Bella is at times. In a chapter when we know they are both hurting so much, they both do a good outward show of indifference.

You are writing this one in such a way that I almost forget that I know how this one ends. ;)

Take The Cake, Ch. 24

So they are moving in together! I love how in this fic, none of this feels rushed on contrived. Things progress with these two, and I just find myself nodding. Just feels right.

It will be interesting to see how the article/review impacts the coffee shop. Will it overwhelm Bella (or Alice or Angela)? Will it make Bella consider expanding (open a second location)? Will the extra traffic make Bella extra tired, and strain her relationship with Edward?

I can't wait to see what happens! (Don't tell me!)

Marked, Ch. 12

What a perfect moment for them to finally give themselves to each other! After an evening of both of them getting a true glimpse of what "real life" could be with each other. To see the fantasy. It was beautiful, caring, and iced with a bit of raw lust.

So happy that Jasper is finally opening up about Paul! It was a little glimpse, but it is a start. As Edward has come to realize, it will be a slow, gradual process with Jasper. Thank goodness he is a patient man! Good things come to those who wait.

Devil's Angel, Ch. 21

It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new life.

Maybe not THAT dramatic, but this is an Edward dancing on the edge of happiness. He is becoming more and more comfortable with the fact that he is in love with Bella. He is putting her happiness ahead of his own. He is altering his choices to keep her safe.

I love that Esme and Carlisle showed up, and that they have met and spent some time with Bella. Edward's honesty with Carlisle about his feelings for Bella was a big deal.

At The Deep End, Ch. 24

It is so hard watching someone you love go through something and not knowing how or not being allowed to comfort them. You write Edward's helplessness beautifully. Wanting so desperately to "fix it", yet not being allowed access at all. I am so happy you made him patient until Jasper was ready.

I was so happy that you had Rose, Emmett, and Edward's parents there, and Esme push her way in as a mom...a loving mom would do.

The ending of this chapter was perfect. After Jasper received a physical and emotional beat down for his love of Edward, they both needed that connection, to feel the REAL love that makes it all worth while. I hope that Jasper feels the forever Edward wants with him.

The University of Edward Masen, Ch. 21

I like the idea of some divine intervention on the part of these two would be lovers, as you intimate with Esme's hopes of the past. Like you said in your conversation between Carlisle and Edward, "...no doubt she’s lighting candles and praying for you, even now. She’s just a little closer to the source.”

I think the two of them are getting a bit free in the public affection, such as kissing outside of his apartment before they left. I hope that doesn't bite them later. Bella has a protector watching over her, and Edward has jilted & wannabe lovers waiting to put him at their mercy.

Finally, home is a good test for them. A place where memories of past selves and ghosts linger, even a few skeletons of their own; a true test of their staying power.

The Lion and The Jackal, Ch. 16

One thing I like about your James in this story is that the man doesn't have one redeeming quality at all. There is no leeway to like him AT ALL. Just a violent, wasted soul. This is perfect, because it does make the reader fear him. Fear what he is capable of.

I have a feeling that he will succeed in phase 1 of his plan. Then I think we will find Tanya in trouble and Edward once again leaving Bella. :(

Don't Ever Forget, Ch. 3

I forget. Is Bella a junior or senior in this story?

I can't imagine the balance of seeing everyone who is important when you are on a short leave like the military get. Especially with Bella still being in school, so 6 hours of her day are dedicated to that, not including homework. Edward is a patient man, though.

There love is so evident in the way you write them. There is no doubt for them, so there is no doubt for me as a reader.

Hydraulic Level 5, Ch. 28

If there were ever two people who had so many cards stacked against them, it is these two. ::deep sigh:: You can't blame someone for an inherited mental illness. You can't blame a young girl for not knowing to look for the signs of it.

In the end, they have both lost so much time due to lack of honesty. His with her. His family with her. Hers with him. I hope this is the dawn of a new era for them. No more secrets.

I love, love, love the songs from your playlist for this chapter.

The Misapprehension of Bella Swan, Ch. 1

HOCKEYWARD is here!!!!What do I wear?

::shifts through jersey collection and settles on my first, Darius Kasperitus #11 - Pittsburgh::

I love that Bella is hockey ignorant, and I am sure that will be a compelling fact to Edward. Edward, it seems, is not a dumb jock either, which we can guess will appeal to our book worm. We have seen them interact with Bella 2.75 sheets to the wind. I am interested now to see how they will interact in the light of day.

Confessions of a Nanny, Ch. 16

The end of this chapter leaves my heart fluttering with happiness. I am sorry that it took such an extreme outing to get them to confess what I am sure they have both been feeling, but I am happy that Edward didn't turn tail.

These two have such a passionate relationship, and now that they can openly love each other as well. I am sure this is not the end of their drama, but I hope they can move forward, keep Delilah shielded from any ugliness, and reach a place that they can present themselves to her as a couple.

Fault, Ch. 26-27

Chapter 26
-----------
Did NOT see that one coming! Not. At. All.

I thought that she would regress/freak out post-coital. I thought that she might suddenly remember, with clarity, what happened to her when she was just a girl. I did not realize that we would discover that we had been living in her delirium the entire time.

Now I am anxious to hear how long Edward has been clued in, and everyone else for that matter.

Chapter 27
-----------
They were all in on it. I am actually kind of surprised that a psychiatrist would let that delusion go on for so long, and consider it a good idea for his son and her father to feed the delusion. What do I know.

I started to think there for a minute that Tanya was a second made up person. Glad she just has one following her around.

Turns out her issues stem back farther than 8th grade. Time to do some reassessing of the situation, men folk.

Daedalus In Exile, Ch. 20

If you would have explained this chapter to me ahead of time I would have looked at you like you were nukin' futs. But reading it, being caught up in that moment with them, who knew that I would have ended up finding it all so sensual and erotic?! It was a taking of what they both wanted, and in turn giving what each other needed. I was completely in the moment.

And now we wait...

Restoration, Ch. 29

You could physically feel the weight lift while reading this chapter. When you carry something so life altering on your shoulders alone, it can hold you down in ways you don't even realize. This was that last bit of trust that Bella had yet to give Edward. Now she is completely bare to him.

I am so proud of Edward to keep his comments and anger controlled and just be there and listen. Asking calm questions and embracing the woman he loves who has swam through a river of emotional shit and come out the other side.

Pinesol and Rubber Gloves, o/s

::snicker::

One crazy round of Twitter brainstorming, and you get a one-shot! LOL! I like that you had her share his fetish. :) The line when she was first at his house, and she asked for the disinfecting wipes made me laugh out loud.

Thanks for bringing our madness to life!

xo,
Bethie

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 19

I would go with the obvious answer of Bella stays with Edward, but I am going to give her to the Devil. Decades of fiery sex. Meanwhile, Edward goes on a berserk killing spree to ensure he goes to hell. Volturi take him out. He arrives in hell, and he, the Devil, and Bella spend eternity in a hot poly-relationship.

I like that you have left this up to the angels. That Mr. Omnipresent is staying such. Claudette is not the girl I thought she would be. Kind of dull. Sort of surprising D-man would go for that.

Gift for LeonMcFrenchington!
May and His December

I really enjoyed this. An interesting glimpse of how things would have played out if Edward made a different choice. We still got to see how Bella would have fit in with the Cullens, but not in a romantic way we are used to. Now Edward will actually get to be doting and care for Bella and she will be accepting. It's very sweet.

The story itself had great banter and made me laugh and smile.

Stranger Than Fiction, Ch. 12-13

Chapter 12
-----------
The finger licking. When did the sucking clean of digits get to be the sexiest thing out there? Oh yeah...when you guys wrote this chapter. I was completely in that moment, my own mouth hanging open as if I was watching him disappear each one into his mouth before gliding it cleanly out. DED.

This is a hard moment to write. The reunion. The ultimate question we all play with is how does Bella react. How did we want her to react? I like that Bella has some age and experience on her in this moment. That the wound is not fresh, and neither is she, so to speak. She is a successful, accomplished woman. Yet, she is a woman who is battling the natural, chemical reaction to this man with the fact that he once tossed her aside. I think you guys played out the confusion of the moment very well. The desire to cash in on the need this man provokes while wanting him to explain himself and then leave.

Chapter 13
-----------
I am not sure this chapter was needed. I think I felt all that you expressed in EPOV in the last chapter. Maybe it was because it was posted with Chapter 12, so I read them in quick succession.

I do love the fact you had her expel him from her house. Nothing more was going to come from that meeting. Emotions were running too high.

Counterpoint, Ch. 27

Words fail me this evening, so I am borrowing Oscar Wilde's:

Silentium Amoris by Oscar Wilde
As often-times the too resplendent sun
Hurries the pallid and reluctant moon
Back to her sombre cave, ere she hath won
A single ballad from the nightingale,
So doth thy Beauty make my lips to fail,
And all my sweetest singing out of tune.

And as at dawn across the level mead
On wings impetuous some wind will come,
And with its too harsh kisses break the reed
Which was its only instrument of song,
So my too stormy passions work me wrong,
And for excess of Love my Love is dumb.

But surely unto Thee mine eyes did show
Why I am silent, and my lute unstrung;
Else it were better we should part, and go,
Thou to some lips of sweeter melody,
And I to nurse the barren memory
Of unkissed kisses, and songs never sung.

The Naked Guy Upstairs, Ch. 12

This is one of those chapters where you could have followed the prescribed route of several chapters of silence and angst. Instead, you gave us talking. Though not everything was discussed today, Edward showed up at her door, and they talked and touched and eased some of the awkwardness away.

There are still things to say, but I think it is OK, if they slowly delve into it, as long as they keep moving forward and sharing.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 40

I loved their ink! Not only does Edward want to caress the symbol of her pain with strokes of optimism and hope, but he puts her likeness on his forever. On the surface it seems like a very claim her type of act, but really, it is putting her claim on HIM on his skin.

It is one thing living with the pain of something traumatic year after year by suppression. You aren't really living with it. It is just there. Now Edward is living with his emotions on the surface. He has to face them. Feel them. He is lucky that Bella loves him as much as she does. Though their commitment I believe is as deep as those with rings on their fingers, and they haven't said the vows, this is the promise you make when you say for ever. You stay through "the worst".

Red Corvette, Ch. 2

You completely deserved a prize in the Slash/Backslash contest! I loved your story and happily voted for you! I have to admit, that I loved this side of the coin even more! How many young boys/girls "fake" their sexuality for years before they are strong enough emotionally to be who they are? Sad that we don't live in a society where they feel loved and comfortable enough by society for being themselves from day one.

I loved living in Emmett's head while he figured out what it was he was feeling, or not feeling, as the cases were. So happy he took the chance in the end and realized that risking for a true friend, a true love, is worth it all. You'll never lose with that type of risk.

The Naked Guy Upstairs, Ch. 9-11

Chapter 9
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I like the laid back bookworm giving Edward as much as the sexy talking Edward. He is playful and kinda dorky. I doubt he lets many people see that side of him.

I like that they are falling into a routine. Despite his no sleepover policy of the past, Edward is willingly carrying her to his bed, and making a habit of crashing on her couch. They are becoming a couple without even realizing it.

Chapter 10
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You know my favorite thing about the two of them, at the moment. Is that you totally believe they are just friends. They act and fight like friends. There are those other feelings lingering in the back of both of their minds, but they are still very much in the friend zone.

Bella's confidence is increasing, and Edward's is waning. Tuesday will be beautiful or an utter fucking disaster.

Chapter 11
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Danger, Will Robinson! DANGER!!

Why oh why could they not do this as themselves? Role playing was a BAD idea. The whole scene was beautifully written and orchestrated, but I sat cringing the whole time chanting "This is a bad idea. This is a BAD idea."

Now Edward is confused, and Bella fancies herself in love. No good can come of this. At least...not right now.

The Naked Guy Upstairs, Ch. 8

Never try to sneak a hymen past a GYN. I also thought it was funny that the instant he realized that she was a virgin, he practically gave her an annual with the lights in the room. *snicker*

Once again, your clever banter comes into play when they start discussing introducing Bella to sex in phases. Professor Big Unit.

Finally, I think she will slowly discover her sexuality, and she will find that things that didn't appeal to her before might gain interest in the name of making her man happy. ;)

The Naked Guy Upstairs, Ch. 4-7

Chapter 4
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What a way to unravel a relationship that has turned tense. A little sheet fort building during a thunderstorm. That whole scene was deliciously sweet. A soft kiss and other pleasant distractions. Isn't funny how we are willing to reveal the things that pain us when we are physically in a small space.

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a temporary friendship. ;)

Chapter 5
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Now the question is, will Edward reveal he knows what she says about him, or will he keep it in his back pocket to be used at a later date? He is in the perfect place to tease her to the point of madness knowing what she wants.

I am anxious how these two play out as a public pair.

Chapter 6
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Edward is the king of mixed signals in this chapter. One minute he is pinning her to himself and then her couch, and the next he is refusing what he teased. I know it is because this whole "feelings" thing is new to him, and I am sure it will be a while until he can reconcile that you can have both. I just think he wants to be so much more to Bella, but doesn't know what that is or how to get there.

In the meantime, Bella is floundering around the edge as much as he is. I don't think she is ready to trust him emotionally, but is craving him physically. If he confesses, will SHE run?

Chapter 7
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I am glad that the actual act itself is beginning in a slow sensual way. I was so worried it would be as stiff and contractual as the arrangement itself. I am so pleased that Edward was honest about his emotions and what she means to him. I hope in turn, that Bella realizes that this is not from his play book. He is operating a bit blindly, as well.

The Naked Guy Upstairs, Ch. 1-3

Chapter 1
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Well, at least when her ovaries explode, he will be there on the spot to fix them.

I like the start of this. I enjoy a story that starts off with a completely awkward moment. Looking forward to see how their interactions progress with her guard now up, and his want to um, cough, go down.

Chapter 2
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Naked ass is an ass. Looking forward to getting into the deeper psychosis of this behavior later in the story. Or maybe you will just keep him superficial. I will have to wait and see.

I can see the emergence of your great banter, which I always loved between your characters. This Bella is a bit more shy than the others have been.

Chapter 3
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Poor Bella. She sounds like she has been the odd man out for so long that she no longer knows how to be anything but. I am curious what you plan to do with Jake's character. If he is just going to be a friend, or a crazy stalker guy. ;)

Edward has let down his usual facade for a moment to step in ready to rescue the damsel. Little did he know that the damsel was full of piss and vinegar...or liquor in this case. I think, for once, he is at a loss with a woman, and it intrigues him.

Stolen Singer, Ch. 9

Hmmm...I am thinking that I am seeing the groundwork you are laying. It will be interesting to see if my hypothesis are correct as the story unfolds. Part of me is hoping I am wrong.

We are hanging on the edge of something right now with neither Edward nor Bella being honest about what they are feeling. She is still scared of this still VERY new existence with these strangers. Edward is afraid too much truth will scare her away. I am just concerned that his lack of truth will lose her in the long run.

You are going to hurt my heart, aren't you. I'm onto you.

Stolen Singer, Ch. 8

Now that Bella has reconciled the idea that Edward and her Angel are one and the same, now it is time for her to start discovering the man he is. In the meantime, Edward's attachment is already there, and he is soon going to have trouble holding back his love/lust for her, or he is going to withdraw from her.

I am no concerned with whether Bella will find forgiveness for Jasper before the Volturi arrive to deal with this situation. I am not sure which will happen at this point yet.

Counterpoint, Ch. 26

This chapter was a perfect example of the state of mind of a depressed human. There was self-destructive behavior, but it is not being done to actually cause harm to one's self, but because you just don't care enough NOT to do it. It was particularly striking in the fact that he hadn't bathed, at all, since coming back from Thanksgiving.

It is interesting that he is trying to get info from Emmett. He is also desperate for the answers. The intellectual is looking for a schedule for when things will be OK again. You display this well in his emails with Carlisle. When C doesn't offer the answer he wants, he is petulant to him in return.

These next few chapters will be painful to read.