Yesternight, Ch. 1

The first part of this chapter read a little clipped to me. I think it was the single sentence statements following each other. Then when you got to the fight with Maria's coven, things became detailed and as smooth as his movements through the fight. So I am wondering if the beginning was so disconnected, for lack of a better word, was done on purpose.

By the time we got to the fight, I didn't have the emotional investment between Carlisle and Edward that I wished I had. It would have made Edward's desire to get to Carlisle and save him all the more powerful.

I like what you have set up here, though, plot wise. Looking forward to see where this goes.