The Inspiration, Ch 6
I know how you feel about struggling with Bella's POV. I have more difficulty with that one, and prefer to write Edward's. One thing I noticed, is that when you wrote Bella's perspective, it was all external. What she was doing or has done. Other's reactions to her and her writing, even Edward's reaction to her body. There seemed to be less about what she was thinking and feeling than what you told us about Edward.
Maybe you might want to take this story to the next level, by internalizing with the characters a bit. We know what they do and who they are as outsiders, but I think you will REALLY draw us in by letting us take a look at their emotions, other than horny and awkward. :-)
I know how you feel about struggling with Bella's POV. I have more difficulty with that one, and prefer to write Edward's. One thing I noticed, is that when you wrote Bella's perspective, it was all external. What she was doing or has done. Other's reactions to her and her writing, even Edward's reaction to her body. There seemed to be less about what she was thinking and feeling than what you told us about Edward.
Maybe you might want to take this story to the next level, by internalizing with the characters a bit. We know what they do and who they are as outsiders, but I think you will REALLY draw us in by letting us take a look at their emotions, other than horny and awkward. :-)
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