The Cocky and The Cougar, Ch. 15

OK, that sucks. I had a feel that the secret being eluded to was a relationship from the past. Was hoping it was past tense. I don't think Edward was lying when he told Bella that he had never been in love before. I have a feeling, whomever this girl is, that whatever they have had going in the past was more one-sided her way. This is NOT how Bella should have found out about it. She has been completely open and honest about her past w/ Jacob. With Bella's past, it is going to be extremely hard for her to be forgiving or forgetting. Maybe it is too late for Edward. He would have deserved that.

On a lighter note...Happy New Year!

Fault, Ch. 22

My favorite thing about this story continues to be how you allow the characters to be the age they are. Their language. Their awkwardness. Schizophrenic emotions. Makes me want to pull out my old diary and roll my eyes at myself.

Part of me wonders if Carlisle is a bit lenient with the behind closed doors between Edward and Bella, because her rediscovering and being comfortable with sexuality is part of her healing. Alas, he is still a father, and so there isn't a complete blind eye.

I just hope that Edward's youth allows him some not so common patience with Bella as she finds her way.

Counterpoint, Ch. 23

You know, I know what is coming, but the way you present it from Edward's eyes makes my heart ache in new and deeper ways. The realization that your affections cannot be reciprocated at the level in which you feel. That they may never is crushing.

I may have to drink while reading the rest of these chapters, or have a happy story chaser ready. You know how to evoke the void.

Happy New Year, darling!

Company Loves Misery, Ch. 5

So, yeah, I have been selfishly swimming in your psyche without reviewing. Like Edward, I am making amends. :)

This one is hard for me to read, I must tell you. I have my own demons when it comes to alcoholism, and so I find it hard to be empathetic with Edward at all. But, like with my own recovering alcoholic, I recognize the effort, and harboring hate only hurts the harbormaster.

You have captured the alcoholics inability to recall, or recall with little detail their actions while in their stupor.

Also, with Bella, I am interested to watch how you write her transformation, because you do when you start to let go of a lifetime of hate and resentment.

Happy New Year, Sam!

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 37

This road trip has been a beautiful summation to how far these two have come emotionally. Edward curbed his caveman tendency when they stopped. Bella willingly told the story of life before Edward, and even shared her biggest source of guilt. Also, Edward got to see how they are perceived as a couple. That it isn't all judgment. That people, if given the chance, see the love and nothing else.

I love how you reveal things about Bella that continually surprise both Edward and us. Maybe him more than us, because we can see what is going on in her head. :)

Happy New Year!

Devil's Angel, Ch. 15

Just as some walls are tumbling, and Edward is looking at really living his life, and being a part of someone else's this Volturi mess pops up. ::sighs and shakes head (at situation, not you):: Will this poor boy never be allowed any happiness? Any peace?

I can see that Edward is not going to let this Volturi business go. I can see him finding out things that frighten him or leave him wanting vengeance for his parents. I can see him pushing Bella away in fear of the Volturi getting to her. I can see him doing so without explanation. I can see my heart hurting a lot more before this story is even close to finished.

I love this hot mess!

The Lion and The Jackel, Ch. 11

The pace that you have set for this story...this relationship is tortuously perfect. You allow it to dance just on the edge of too much UST, but it never crosses that line. Edward's tortured heart at the realization that he "gallantry" isn't perceived as such by Bella. That she sees his actions as nothing but abandonment was so shocking to him.

He should know by now that truthfulness is the only thing that will win her. She needs to see what he has been doing before she can feel his motivations.

Happy New Year!

Rhapsody, Ch. 1-6

Chapter 1
-----------
So while FailFiction is on hiatus on giving me reviews or updates, I thought I just might search out some new stuff to read, and I landed here.

What an absolutely intriguing first chapter! You have not only set up what these characters look like, and what it is they do to pass the time, but you have woven complex character traits and desires in the first notes of your symphony. I not only can see your characters, but I can feel them already.

Beautifully orchestrated start. I can't wait to read more tomorrow!

Chapter 2
-----------
It sounds like he has reigned in a bit of the OCD from his youth. It's OK to like order. I love that he is a foody.

Sounds like Bella is going to have to be the aggressor in this relationship, though he doesn't run off or shy away once she does get the conversation rolling. Once they do get talking, there seems to be easy flow between the two of them. I hope it continues.

I am thinking that Jasper is taking Edward to a certain new restaurant...

Chapter 3
-----------
Excuse me as I step outside in the below freezing weather to cool off for a moment...

I was NOT expecting that! Holy shit that was one of the hottest moments I've read in fic, and I think the surprise had EVERYTHING to do with it. ::giggle::

Bella obviously likes an emotional order as much as Edward craves physical order. I am hoping next chapter finds her showing up at Edward's door and not allowing him to run and hide in needless shame.

Chapter 4
-----------
I love your Alice in this story. Her intuitiveness giving a shout out to her canon self. I like how direct and unapologetic she is as well.

I am glad I was right about the restaurant. It demonstrates to Edward a shared love of food that he and Bella have, as well as keeping her on the forefront of his mind.

I was so hoping you would have her show up at his door, though the meeting itself didn't go as I expected, and I love you for it. That boy's rabbit hole runs deep, and I think you have only shown us the surface.

Chapter 5
-----------
That was confused and sexy and needy and just right.

Poor Edward. What a past. This chapter did help explain his self-loathing and deprecation. I have a feeling that only time will prove to Edward that Bella's feelings are real, that she is not going to hurt him, and that he can trust her with his heart.

Looking forward to seeing if he does make the next move, or if Jasper will have to intercede.

Chapter 6
-----------
First off, quit fucking apologizing for your story. It is our jobs as readers to give ourselves over to you and the journey you choose to take your characters on. That is the fun of it. Your choices and pace are what make it exciting and unpredictable. If a reader wants to dictate how a story should go, then they should write their own damn story.

I love how they have begun to feed off of each others bravery. This chapter saw them feeding off the emotion of the other, and then having the courage and trust to give back, to ask for what they want, to surrender to what they need.

Finally, piano sex FTW!

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 9

He'll rip that bitch off.

The look into the future was actually kind of horrifying. To see them all so feral was shocking. You pulled me right into that moment.

Delusions of Grandeur, Ch. 1-19

I have greatly enjoyed watching these polar opposite beings on the surface dive below appearances and find that there is someone there to befriend, to care for...potentially to love.

They were united by suffering and a lifestyle. Now it will be interesting to see how they deal with and explore other core differences that can break a couple that is not strong enough in it's communication and tolerance.

Looking forward to more of this story, and to your interview with manyafandom on PPSS!

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 1-8

My new mantra for any Mrs.TheKing, "I have never read anything like this before."

You have amazed me once again by coming up with a completely original storyline that I have never seen done before. Bella as an angel battling James for control of the maintenance of Heaven while God is on a business trip in Hell to make dealings with the Devil? Where the fuck do you come up with this genius?! I think maybe I need to spend as much time on the can as you do...that's got to be the key.

No one writes vulnerable Edward like you do. He is sweet and caring, and willing to sacrifice himself to help this fallen angel return to where she belongs. In turn, you have a smart mouth, sassy angel who is short-tempered and spunky.

Then on top of all of that, you have your great dialog and this crazy pick-a-path story happening. Your writing once again has me enthralled. To read you, is to admire you. To know you, is to adore you.

BTW...though I think it is early in the game. I am voting for the love.

Deep Dish, Ch. 1-5

Sometimes an author comes up with a new side character, that cannot be found in canon, that takes hold of your heart and leaves you craving more. Whether it be sexual desire manifested as a monster or a moody and possessive cat named Clive, you would love a fic just about them. In the case of Deep Dish by starfish422, one of these characters gets their day in the sun.

Jack Charles was first introduced to us as a new friend that helped Jasper get through his rough break-up with Edward in Over The Top. The thing that fascinated me about him was that he was straight forward, honest, yet there was shadow that followed him around. Turns out, that shadow was being completely in love with his best friend, and straight man, Ashton. In Deep Dish, Ashton has just gotten married to Jasper’s old secretary from OTT, Kathleen, and Jack decides it is finally time to put some distance between himself and his best friend, who is also the bane of his emotional health. Distance is literal in this case. Jack has decided to leave Seattle and move to Chicago.

With the move, Jack brings with him someone new to his life from Over The Top, Jacey, and meets someone new, Mike Newton, from a little fic called A House of Cards by DefinatelyStaying. Part of me, when I first learned about Jack meeting up with Mike, hoped that maybe two dejected souls from two stories can find happiness together in this one. Once again, I am awed at starfish422’s ability to craft characters and make you fall in love with them. I am now hoping that Jacey becomes a more permanent fixture in Jack’s life, and that maybe Mike and Jack can become friends in a way that is uncluttered by the confusion of romantic love.

What I am enjoying most about this story so far is watching unapologetically single Jack start to want and need to let someone into his life. After spending the last decade in love with someone who does love him, but who could never be a true partner in life, Jack has found someone, possibly in Jacey, to not only be a lover, but a love…a partner. There are the obstacles of distance and age that will cause strain on this relationship, but I am anxious to see how it may survive. I am ready to enjoy watching Jack find his happiness.

Edward Wallbanger, Ch. 13

::pulls out cigarette and takes a long drag while straightening my rumpled hair::

Damn, Alice, you give great banter. It may be the best banter that I have had in YEARS.

Under the deliciousness that is your dialog you have set up some interesting potential trouble and a new level of UST. Looking forward to continuing this dance with you in the new year.

The Cannabean Betrothal, Ch. 14

My heart hurts, and I actually have a silent tear or two sliding from the corner of my eye.

Edward is stressed by the control he must maintain on himself due to the nature of their beliefs. He is also has jealousy heaped upon memories of past wrongs heaped upon the role he is trying to assume in Bella's life, yet not completely able to at this point.

Then Bella is caught between the two men she loves the most and their mixed signals on who's lead she should be following. Her heartache is compounded by her ignorance to the past and family issues that Edward won't completely share. In fact, his lack of communication mixed with his reactions to her innocent questions are going to cause great strife soon.

you = wonderful, as always.
me = enraptured, as always.

All I Want For Christmas, o/s

I love when someone gives me a married, committed Jasper/Edward! I absolutely love them as a couple. Edward as a news correspondent was an interesting twist. Nothing like a joyous reunion for the holidays!

Thanks for sharing! Merry Christmas!

Chapter 35 Title: Epilogue
Words: 2,510

URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4849197/35/

Belonging, Ch. 1-8

I am LOVING this story so far. You have presented an E/B love affair with a whole new set of external deterrents.

To start, I love that Bella reacted to Alice and Edward initially how most modern teenagers would react to the Amish ways. Especially one who has been raised to be a skeptic. It was great to see her grow and learn in their presence. That she became more open to new ideas despite her reservations.

I like the mystery of Esme, and am happily losing myself to the idea of angels among us as I read.

Finally, I am so happy Bella is going to visit her friends, and that their family is amenable to having her. I think she will find that she fits in better than she could ever imagine.

So happy to have been clued into your story!

A Rough Start, Ch. 1-15

This makes my heart hurt. You have once again created characters with depth, and a relationship that should be so easily, yet marred by life. Edward has been completely up-heaved from his life as he knew it. I think he is doing remarkably well being so ill equipped for this new role. Bella fell into this whirlwind unexpectedly, yet stands strong in the eye of the storm. Hopefully, her strength holds until they both find the strength to face everything they are fighting so hard against.

For now, Edward's in T-R-O-U-B-L-E! LOL!

Unwrapped, Ch. 1

Is it hot in here, or is it just your fic?! You know, you warned me about fic cliches, but it wasn't off putting. The only thing I have trouble wrapping my brain around in these type of fic situations, is that in my mind, Edward would never share Bella in a million years. I am open minded enough to let that reservation go when it is written well.

Each pairing was it's own special brand of lovin'. Poor Esme got left out of the fun. Nobody, apparently, wants to fuck with their mom around.

You do write some hot smexin', though, girl!

The Trip Home, Ch. 1-5

Lookie who is late to the party, but has finally arrived!

There is a lot of passion and heat in this story. The scenes between the three of them are at their hottest, when you are writing about one of them watching the others. The way you describe their emotions, and what they are witnessing, really puts me in the moment.

But you also, without a doubt, have convinced me of how much love there is here. Edward and Jasper are so obviously in love, and that love is branching out to include Bella.

This journey will not be an easy one, I am sure, and they rarely end in a way that everyone is happy. I shall happily enjoy the ride no matter how it goes. :)

Fourteen, Ch. 1

I like what you have introduced with this story, but my eagerness to hit the next chapter link to keep reading was marred by the fact that you already gave away that Edward is going to redeem himself. I can't buy into the Edward you have set up, because you told me he is going to shift. Therefore, his character has lost his arch.

You are such a great story teller. I want to take the journey you create as you unfold it to me. :)

Chapter 34 Title: I Could Have Danced All Night
Words: 3,120

URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4849197/34/

The Cannabean Betrothal, Ch. 1-12

Wow! Just wow! This is one of the most unique, and best written, fics I have read it some time.

What an intelligent story of love under different cultural circumstances. Not only do you graciously expose us to and explain the ideals of this society, but you make the adherence beautiful, and not inhibiting. In a situation that might seem more like a business transaction to modern eyes, you have shown the emotion of her parents having to let go. You have shown the struggle with how to progress and get to know someone under the confines of rules that are cherished.

You have shown in the world of M ladden fic, that when building a lasting relationship, a kiss can rock your soul.

This is absolutely amazing, and I can't wait for your next installment.

New story from EJ Santry,

Title: For All the Wrong Reasons

Category: Twilight
Character(s): Jasper & Edward


Words: 7,027
Genre(s): Hurt/Comfort/Friendship
Rating: Rated: M
Summary: Jasper was sent away for all the wrong reasons – but stayed for
one very right one, him. Will he be worth everything Jasper must give up to
have him? AH/AU – SLASH BACKSLASH Entry – ExJ Collab with
DefinatelyStaying

URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5545629/1/

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 21

Careful what you ask for, cause you just might get it. In this case, Edward needed to hear more. He is being asked to deal with her nightmares, but they both need to know the extent of the nightmare they are helping the other cope with.

All the truth, I feel, will come out soon. I love the fact they both admitted in this great moment of weakness, that they do need each other.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 19-20

I am doubting that Edward dry humped even as a teenager, so I think this is a whole new experience for him. Our boy is in a whole new world or sexual experiences. He is "doing right by her", but I love how he is still his direct, foul mouthed self. Yet one, that makes his woman breakfast in bed, and is happy just satisfying her all night. Also, I love how proud he is of her, and I hope she recognizes that.

I am happy to see Bella allowing herself to have girlfriends and even enjoy the experiences with them. I think it helps that they are so different from her friends in the past. New friends for a new chapter of her life.

Edward and the piercing pouting was so great.

Waiting for the James shit to hit the fan.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 18

Looks like James is stalking. That can't be good.

Most people, coupled with his need to possess and mark Bella, would think Edward's wanting to know where she is and his paranoia when she doesn't pick up the phone as over-bearing, but I just see that scared boy that is afraid to lose one more thing he loves.

It will be interesting to see if, over time, there begins to be friction between the two of them if Bella stops being so susceptible to Edward's charms, and starts refusing him things he wants.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 17

I am so happy they got that all resolved for now. Though, I can't help but fear how Edward is going to flip his shit when he finds out it was Bella's wedding they were all headed to. News like that will not go over well with the possessive.

The end, in the private ink room was perfect, for them. I loved the hoodie, followed by Edward's own fucked up way of letting her know how he feels. Often in fics, when Edward pleases Bella, but doesn't allow her to reciprocate, it feels trite, but here, we know what a huge personality shift it is for him to be unselfish with a lover.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 16

I can't decide if the way they use pleasure before they discuss the painful is a good or bad thing. It's good, because it douses them in euphoria before getting into to the hard stuff, so it makes it semi-easier. On the other hand, they are going to start associating a painful aftermath with any sexual experience with the other. Mixed feelings, indeed.

Edward now knows a bit about her parents, and that she was on the way to the wedding of her "best friend". None of it lies, but all of it half-truths.

I love how Edward is making an outward display of everything he is feeling, though may not be ready to admit. Unfortunately, Aro & crew had to show up and ruin the party that was going so well. I fear how Aro/Caius will use Bella against Edward. I hate that Bella knows the Tanya truth, but shading it in mis-conception.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 15

Now Edward has seen the subconscious aftershocks of what Bella has experienced, though, he is still somewhat in the dark about the truth of the crash, and who all was involved. He knows now the horror that haunts her when the meds are out of the system and she can't suppress where her brain goes.

James is the cop that followed her home. I don't like this. Not one bit, since I am pretty sure it is him that killed Edward's parents.

Finally, you give poor Edward some relief from someone else's hand! And of course he has a pierced peen! That was delicious, that was. Bella taking charge of her own desires.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 14

These two are going to be a constant explosion of emotion, because they are both carrying so much baggage. So many things they are ashamed of. So, every getting-to-know-you type of questions are going to sting the addressee, and cause emotions to run high. Things are going to be rise and fall with them for a long time.

Then when they both let down their guard, we get these great homemade breakfasts, stolen touches and kisses, and just great care taken of the other.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 13

Most of Bella's truth is known now. It was also very telling in the fact that those who thought they knew her best, still had gaping holes in their knowledge (i.e., Rose not know about the prescription drugs, and Edward in the dark about the crash). Now they are both less in the dark, and all the more torn what is the best way to care for Bella.

Also, Edward is starting to face what it is Bella is coming to mean to him. Then they finally kissed. Bella should have known some cupcakes would be Edward's breaking point. :) It is probably good Rose walked in when she did. They aren't ready for more than that.

OH! The dream. I've put 2 & 2 together, will Edward? I don't want to know...just pontificating.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 12

Wow! So much in this chapter.

First, I loved the whole vibe of the start of the tattoo. The lulls were quiet and serene. The touches were sensual and electrifying. Then, the conversation was harrowing and exposing. There was a maelstrom of emotion in that little room. Bella just got a large leap into Edward's past and personality. I am curious if Caius marks the start of some new trouble for these already troubled would-be lovers.

Now, we both know they both want the other. Others are starting to be suspicious or straight out are clued into the same. Now, they are starting to allow themselves tastes (in this case) or touches (also in this chapter) of their desire.

I love how Edward keeps doing things to mark her other than the tat. I'm waiting for him to piss on her. I hope she is starting to see it for what it is, as well. He wants her, and not just her tattoo.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 11

I loved this day together. Edward being all protective and possessive of her. It was great to see Bella almost happy, too. Edward's calming presence for an entire day had to help. Then her surprise for him was EXCELLENT! I like that you had her feeding him the mini-cupcakes. We know she wants him too, but it was a comfortable action, that she doesn't always show with him.

Despite poor Edward's constant state of arousal, he is being such a good friend to her. If Alice only knew.

The way Edward can read Bella's emotions now will be helpful as he slowly draws Bella's story from her. And at some point, he will have to be equally as forthcoming.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 10

I love the way he is caring for her. He doesn't even know the whole story, but he instinctually is using any excuse he can find to be sure that she is well. Including, ensuring she eats better by holding her tattoo over her head.

I loved, LOVED what she said in the elevator. “For whatever happened to make your heart bleed.” So not what I was expecting, and I don't think it is what he was expecting either. I am sure she will find out soon enough, that he, too, has stared down unthinkable horrors.

Your gradual build of the touches and words is magical.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 9

Edward is slowly starting to SEE Bella. He is starting to see the deep sadness behind her eyes when she is lost in herself, and the desire and confusion when she looks at him. Though the poor man has a ceaseless hard-on, we are starting to see a flickering of desire in him to be more than that to her.

TK2 makes her debut! It is interesting knowing some of the details of this story before reading it. I love how she was brought into the picture. I was thinking that she might be a gift from Edward, but I like this even better.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 8

I think Bella may win the "I saw the most horrible shit" award between these two. Not only did she lose her parents and best friend/fiancee, but his family, and all of their friends. What a burden to carry. We know that she shouldn't feel guilty for this accident, but I can't see how she could not. If anything, she just needs to forgive herself...even a little.

The little tattoo scene was rather serene. Some of the angst and moments between the two of them, but overall, I just got the sense of some calm for the two of them. LOVED HIS LAST LINE!!!

“Why yes Bella, I’d be inclined to show you just about anything you want right now" ::sigh::

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 7

Baby steps. These two need to ease in to each other. They are both so wound right now, that the small gestures of him tracing the dark circles under her eyes, provide and gradual building of trust.

I had a feeling that whatever Bella was drawing for her tattoo would be something epic in proportion and complexity. With someone who has experienced so large of a loss, and such an intense experience, that I would expect nothing less.

It will be interesting to see how Edward deals, through the process, with his mixture of wanting to mark her, and his questioning whether this was a good idea.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 6

It is hard enough when your heart is hurt to feel strong enough to risk it again, but when it has been obliterated, as Bella's has, the glimmer of love or joy can be even more painful than hurt.

We are seeing that there is starting to be a circle of people forming around Bella who want to be given the chance to love and care for her. She just isn't ready. Not yet. Luckily, she has a neighbor who is direct, and has heard the madness that comes out in the dark. She needs this, so desperately. Then, maybe, she can take another small step forward.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 5

Wow. To come home to find both of your parents murdered. I don't know how you recover from that. I am impressed that his nightmares are now so infrequent. I just can't imagine.

He is also lucky that he is clean of many things after two years of drugs and whores.

Poor Edward is made to be the tool in this one, isn't he? Guy can't help that the general needs to salute the lady, no more than I can help my rock hard nipples when it is below 50 degrees.

I do like how she is starting to play with him, though. She is still the shy girl at times, but Tiger Kitty is also fucking with him. :)

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 4

I can't imagine the tragedy Bella has seen. Having my best friend murdered left me emotionally distant and feeling unworthy for 4 years, so I can't imagine what she is going through.

It is great to hear she is feeling everything he is, but it is going to be a long road for the two of them. Both feeling so undeserving due to their respective pasts.

I can't wait to see what it is she is designing!

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 3

I am so glad that you allowed the first meeting to be brief, and strained, and awkward. He doesn't really know her yet, other than the glimpses of her taste in books, and there is a temper under that shy shell. There is no mistaking the pure physical attraction. I like that you made him feel guilty for be at the strip club.

Already a misconception painted by Edward though(her drug use - sounds seeder than I intend it to). It will be interesting when the truth is revealed.

Finally, I like how who seems to be a normally confident man becomes silently contemplative and observant when Bella is around.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 2

::sniffs the air:: I smell angst galore in this story! ::fist pump::

Bella has a past two, and it sounds like a horrifying one at that. I have my speculations to the outcome of the plane's descent, but will wait for you to spell them out for me.

Though Bella has a dependence on a cocktail of drugs to allow her to function, she is also making a small effort on her own to try to live in working for Esme and letting her in, even if it is just a little.

I am interested in seeing if the rage is a result of her experience or was present before.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 1

::kicking myself...kicking myself furiously::

WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG TO START THIS?!

HH, if the rest of this story is even half as good as this first chapter, you can count me as a new disciple at your alter.

I am hooked from the start. It is not an in your face type of start. It is a gentle cadence that eases into your brain until you find that you are entranced with your characters. Edward is a man who loves what he does. He is content in his life. Obviously, there are some things in his past, and the fact that he has one is delicious.

Also, you give us, who I assume is Bella, in the first chapter, but like Edward, you give us flashes of her personality, but no true access. She is a mix of interesting detail so far, yet she is a mystery, which I love.

So happy to have entered the rabbit hole. You will be hearing more from me.

572, o/s

This was a great one-shot on the trials and tribulation of being in sexual exile. You did a great job of building up to the final moment. I love the blocks you threw in their road along the way until they could come together (wink).

Good luck in the contest!

The Lion and The Jackal, Ch. 4

I'm glad you took a chapter to let us know how it was that James survived. You have set up his network of support, so we know he is not operating entirely alone. He has the support of another family.

I love Victoria's back story, as well. That her existence was the bone of contention between Aro and Edward Sr.

I hope you are feeling better!

My Life To Be, Ch. 6-7

Chapter 6
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Both sides of these relationships seem to be dipping their toes in the other's pools, so to speak. Never doing enough to cross that line, but flirting desperately with it. While Edward and Bella are focusing on the other's relationships, never challenging what they are thinking or feeling, but questioning and discussing their own situations.

Emmett and Rose, on the other hand, though not doing anything, are starting to be blatant. At least, Emmett is there at the end.

Things are crumbling, but what will be left when all the walls fall? I can't wait to see where you go with this!

Chapter 7
----------
It is interesting to see how people will act out emotions such as doubt, jealousy, and need. Emmett fucks. Rose tries to fuck. Edward closes himself off. Only Bella seems to be exploring what she is feeling honestly. She has not promised any sort of exclusivity with Emmett, but is not denying her baser needs if he is willing to fill them.

Emmett and Bella might have had a relationship to last, if he didn't have some sort of retarded view of Bella's "type".

My Yes, My No, Ch. 10

I am...I feel...this was...::rubs forehead::

The way you wrote Edward in this chapter, you captured the feeling of someone being so absolutely overwhelmed with their emotion, with the possibility of the future,...well, it was just amazing. I, myself, felt like there was something in me that if I didn't find the words or actions to release it, my body might combust. Your words put me there.

This time, it was making love. It was everything connecting with the person you love with all of your being should be.

Lovely, Lo.

Poughkeepsie Junior

I love your drabble. I loved this line:

Their kiss was cold and tasted like lemons and plans.

I know these were just little moments for a cause, but I feel like some of your best prose is found here. The sweeping words filling in the questions is almost poetic at times, leaving me feeling deliciously voyeuristic.

Though the point of these is to help cure cancer, your words have a medicinal quality for my soul. :)

Red Corvette, o/s

This was a beautifully innocent look at a young boy's first experience with love, un-reciprocated love, and eventually having your hearts desire offer you everything you have been hoping for.

It was a sweet tale of what happens to a boy who comes out in high school. I am so happy that he wasn't totally isolated, and had friends in Edward and Bella, and a champion in Emmett. I loved it when he was just a nice guy, but to find out that he was starting to have some attractions of his own was a surprising touch.

Lovely.

Daedalus in Exile, Ch. 8

It is a good thing that Edward is a vampire, and has the perfect photographic memory, because the pile of lies he is building, would crumble with the gentlest of exhale. It will be interesting to see what comes first, her getting her memory back, or an outside source ousting him.

The shift is happening within him. He is being to loathe the lies. He is thinking more about what it is she needs to live, instead of maintaining her until he drinks her dry. As it is in the end, he is craving her presence more than her blood.

The Fallout, Ch. 22

How could anyone come out of that place after a few months, more or less YEARS and have a stable psyche? [rhetorical] I can't imagine the things Bella has had to do to survive. Things she was forced to forget. How she had to forget herself. It is no wonder she created the persona of the Phoenix. It is a mask to wear. To hide behind. To pretend to be that thing, and not Bella Swan.

It is interesting to see how much humanity Jasper has gained in his years with Alice. I think HE is realizing how much his core self has changed. He has faced the worst of himself in those tunnels, and held onto who he has become. I am proud of him, if I can be so.

The idea that Garrett and Bella are more than survivor-mates, does throw a kink in the plan. To go through all of this, and have them still not be able to reunite would be tragic. You have given us the love triangle with Garrett instead of Edward. Will she choose the one that helped her survive the worst of times or the man she was destined to love?

Spy Games, Ch. 16

This duel life they were trying to balance was bound to come to a head. I knew he was drawing her. I just knew it. It did hurt my heart to read the end of this chapter, because I have guessed for a while now, that this was ALL about her for Edward. That he was completely in love with her. That he knew her so well, because he is infatuated.

Bella has been the one who has kept this relationship at an arms length. I think she will realize this now.

It will be interesting how the conferences go.

Devil's Angel, Ch. 5

We knew Edward had something of a past, but it sounds much more terrible than just being a womanizer. What was he accused of that he needs Jessica's alibi so desperately? Something that is so completely horrible that he is still haunted by it. Very interesting.

Ah, what happens when you don't expect there to be a day after, and you run smack into it! Poor Emmett..no idea what is going on. I love the cattiness mixed with the sexual tension at the end of this chapter. This Edward is SO fucking hot in his self-assurance!

My Yes, My No, Ch. 9

These two have struggled so much in their efforts to find their communication. I am happy that they are starting to trust each other with their unshared past and trusting in the other not to let go or leave, as the case may be.

This chapter made my heart hurt at times, because it really highlighted Edward's pain. How this is it for him. If she says "No", then his world is gone. There is no "moving on" for him.

I love the merging symmetry with the other story line as this chapter came to a close. You played that masterfully.

Looking forward to the story lines uniting, and how you bring us home!

Don't Ever Forget, Ch. 1-2

Chapter 1
----------
I am so happy to see Armyward! Basic is ending, but this is only the beginning. I am glad to see that he is encouraging Bella to pursue her interests even from a distance. I truly believe that she is it for him.

It is great to see that Alice and Jasper are finally getting set up in their own home. I am happy that she has obviously been in a loving environment has she has traversed her pregnancy. Jasper is a good man, and I hope that they will get to see their dreams come true, though a little delayed.

I teared up with the journal entry and the phone call. Nothing better than having home coming back to you. Can't wait to see what having him home is like for them all.

Chapter 2
----------
I think they showed much more restraint than I could ever show in that situation. I would have taken him in the backseat of the car in the parking garage...or at least pulled off on the side of the road on the way home. js.

These almost two weeks are going to be a test in balance for Edward visiting with his family, and squeezing in all the love and time with Bella that he can.

For now, I am glad they are reunited.

Late Night Encounters, Ch. 1-4

Chapter 1
----------
Dawnie, I have to admit when I first got the notice for this story, 1) I was late to the game. I must have put you on author alert after you started this story. 2) I read the summery and thought, "I'm not so sure about this". But, I have almost missed out on other fics, because the titles or summaries sounded like something I might not be able to get into, so I decided to read. THANK GOD I DID! I LOVE THIS!

You set up Edward as the lonely guy with a busy schedule, yet not one to just casually get some tail. Of course, Emmett slipped him this website URL. Him as the badgering friend will be entertaining. I love that he just took a chance on it, and was flippant in his bio showing he's non-committal to this. Then Bella appears.

At first, I was so shocked that she was so blatant, but then after they got into it, I was not distracted by it at all. This was hot. I was worried that Bella wouldn't be back. Can't wait to read round 2. ;)

Chapter 2
----------
I love that this was a drunken escapade for Bella. I am also happy that she read back through the transcripts of the chat, and it had the same affect on her sober. Once again, this was so hot.

This story is a more graphic reflection on the freedom that online personas give us. I think it is freeing to have no filter. Then, when we are comfortable, we can let others see who is behind the curtain.

Chapter 3
----------
This is possibly the hottest fic I have read, and the people are in different time zones! You write anticipation so amazingly. I feel my own nerves on end, anxious until they can meet up again. I love that they have such a powerful affect on each other, even at a distance.

I am curious what sort of role Emmett will play in this in the end. I hope he doesn't badger him to the point that he quits seeing Bella, or outs him. Something like this would defame Edward's public image. Not that he is doing anything bad, but let's face it...people judge.

Voices have been heard! Can't wait to see what this does for them!

Chapter 4
----------
I am glad that the reality of his job entered the picture at this early stage of their "relationship". You said from the get go that his job damaged relationships he had. That people couldn't deal with the hours. Even Bella got anxious after not hearing from him for a couple days, and initiated contact. But maybe Edward didn't have someone who would initiate in the past, and I think Bella just really wanted to check in on him. Just to let him know he was missed. Not harping.

She also doesn't seem to judge him at all, which I think will mean a lot to him.

Webcams. They will finally "meet". So exciting!

Subject: Edward Cullen, AKA The Womanizer, Ch. 32

This party was a great challenge for Edward. He is so protective, borderline possessive, of Bella. It was good for him to see her in action, and have other's flirt with her without him being able to say anything. This was a healthy exercise in trust for him.

...and he was amply rewarded. ;)

I am also glad that Bella is starting to give some, as well. Her busy life with 500 things going on at once was great before, but now she will have a husband and baby in her life. She can no longer fill her schedule with just herself. I love that she is starting to delegate.

Counterpoint, Ch. 15-16

Chapter 15
-----------
The fight with Alice still hurts from this side of the coin. Harsh judgment, especially from someone you love so much, always cuts deep. Not only that, but it truly leaves you questioning yourself.

I love how Edward is both so confident, yet still such a boy. He understands the seriousness of Bella's risks, and believes completely in his love. Then, he can still be brought to blush by Bella's one shred of confidence. Ahhh...sweet boy.

Chapter 16
-----------
LOL! I salute your mad peen skills, sir!

He was so sweet to make breakfast for Bella. I loved the banter between him and Carlisle in the kitchen. It was nice to hear that Bella was teaching him to cook. Those skill sets that he has never learned living a life of privilege.

I love how Bella challenges the things Edward has been taught. He wants to be a gentleman, and not physically initiate anything with Bella, because he feels it is in bad form after her emotional day. Yet he said so himself, in the last chapter, that Bella needs sex like people need oxygen.

Bad Press, Ch. 1-7

Chapter 1
----------
From the very start, you have me. Bella has a less than ideal past, and is looking for a fresh start. She is a two birds with one stone kind of girl, by combining her blind date with scoping out her new job, which I think is hilarious.

I love the way you introduce Alice, and Edward. Alice doesn't feel forced or phony. Just someone you would easily like. Then you bring us Edward darkly clad and sexy, and what do you have Bella do...ask him to help her barf. So great.

Chapter 2
----------
I love a confident, cocky Edward, and in this case, he is the GM as well, and not just the bartender. This will make things interesting. I love how you have set up all our favorite supporting Cullen players. I like that it is truly a family business, and everyone will do what they need to in order to keep things operational.

I love the banter between Edward and Bella. I like that she is honest with Edward about her short comings, maybe in a moment of desperation. I can't wait to see what he comes up with to help her.

Chapter 3
----------
The "Stay" killed me. My heart jumped right to my throat. These two have such an easy rapport. I was hoping for the night to never end just like Edward. Obviously, Bella has some issues in her past that has her a bit spooked. She is also starting a new job THERE in the morning.

I was sorry to see Edward so easily led to believe that she was shallow. He did say he had trust issues, so I can see where he would be quick to believe the worst in someone he just met.

Can't wait for tomorrow!

Chapter 4
----------
Fav line, "Leave it to Emmett to be the Sherlock Holmes of pussy." I'm still laughing about that one.

Edward is in for a surprise when he realizes his dream and his nightmare are one in the same. Will he decide to go with the plan to be an ass, or change tactics?

I love this Bella. I love a STRONG Bella. She knows her shit. I like that you have paired her with Angela as her assistant. I have a feeling there is nothing that they are going to be able to pull that she is not already two steps ahead on.

This is going to be fun.

Chapter 5
----------
This chapter was absolutely on fire! What an awkward room to be in. Bella is sharp as a tack, and not only put Edward in his place, but swept his main ally away with the words "stockcar". I was a bit surprised at both of them for getting so catty at a board meeting, but I think they were both caught up in the moment, working out UST via professional sparring.

This is so good.

Chapter 6
----------
ObsessingOverEdward is the reason I found your story. She recs the best stuff. Your story included. I am continuing that chain of rec'ing myself!

The kiss in her office was A-MAZING! It reminded me of that Cheers episode where Sam and Diane are "I hate you!" "I hate you more!" ::kiss:: :)

Now, we shall see how these two dance between their volatile professional lives and their personal relationship which has so much potential.

Chapter 7
----------
I loved the use of the one-on-one meetings as a device to get to know some of the key players better and how they will eventually interact with Bella. Jessica and Emmett's meetings went as I expected, but you pull some shit out for Alice! I did not see that coming, but now makes the wallet stealing something Edward would owe her big time for. I am happy that Bella will have an open relationship with her. She needs someone she can confide in openly.

Finally, I loved the elevator ride. You have a gift for banter. I can't wait to see him show up in her office...with a plant maybe?

The Lion and The Jackal, Ch. 2-3

Chapter 2
----------
Laurent has a secret. Someone remains (I'm pretending I don't know it is James). Here, Edward thought finding him would equal closure, and he could get back to Bella, and now it is not over. Not only is it not over, but this new player is aware of Bella, and is possibly after her.

Na-na-naaaa!

Chapter 3
----------
Mmmm...sexy, domineering Edward resurfaces. I love when he is quietly aggressive. His whispered threats, and deadly thumb... I missed this take charge, confident man.

Now he is off and running! I can't wait to see the expansion of the prologue once they become reunited!

Confessions of a Nanny, Ch. 14

You just had to go and Tanya on our parade, didn't you. ;) Can't wait to see what this fuckery is all about.

I loved the quiet morning of playing and talking between the two of them. The eager touches of new lovers mixed with the uncertainty of new feelings was a beautiful dance. I like that they are being honest with each other, and hope this open communication can continue.

Art After 5, Ch. 55

Great ending to a wonderful story. I loved the arc of Bella through this story. It is hard to allow yourself to trust in love when you have been so abandoned and hurt by it. I am so happy that you allowed Bella to submit to some therapy and heal herself before she sought out Edward again.

Edward's journey hurts a bit more, because he starts young, naive, and so optimistic. It is sad to know that we all end up experiencing things that cloud our views on life. I am sorry it was being forsaken by his first love, and then to loose his dad so young.

Finally, I am happy with how you ended this. Things aren't perfect, but they are filled with love and hope for the future.

Diseased Affair - Chapter 33

Chapter 33 Title: You Might Make Me Believe
Words: 3,206

At The Deep End, Ch. 20

You write their love making so beautifully. The emotion between the two of them emanates off the page. There is so much love with these two, and you have no doubt that these two were meant to be together forever.

They have such a big event ahead of them. This will be a lot of worry for nothing, or they are about to face the largest emotional obstacle of their entire relationship.

Spy Games, Ch. 15

Hopefully these two can find a place where they quit playing head games and can enjoy this relationship for everything it could be. They have everyone telling them they should end it. That it will only cause pain, yet they can't or won't stay away from one another.

It was great seeing Bella at the dinner, and for once in a while commanding a room in her talent and extensive knowledge. For being that woman that deserves the place she is in her career. I loved when she put that dude in his place, and then was tucking business cards and checks in her purse for the rest of her night.

It will be interesting to see how Edward reacts to Dean's good-night. It might reveal his hand, finally, or cause great detriment to what they have built. We shall see!

Edward Wallbanger, Ch. 11-12

Chapter 11
------------
James will be playing the ghost of boyfriends past in tonight's episode of Wallbanger. I am curious what you are going to make of his character. He seems like a semi-decent guy so far.

I love that Clive pissed on Edward's shirt! That and the wink. So funny!

I am noticing that our Mr. Banger is choosing to get no action lately, other than the Bella's-erotic-dream-talk induced wank sessions. Also, he is anticipating her arrival home, and wanting her company. It is becoming a natural thing for him, and for her too.

Chapter 12
------------
That's it. After this chapter, I am letting this story crawl up into my uterus and procreate.

It was interesting getting some perspective on Bella and her past. I love how she is not threatened by her past. That she can can sit and have a mature conversation, and have her small indicators (such as the drink ordering) that she is woman, yet dance down memory lane, and leave it there.

Edward's pacing was so fantastic! Our boy is hooked, and doesn't even know it.

Then you give us pie, meatballs, and horror movies. Which were dripping in your humor and sexual innuendos. I loved every moment of the food prep and the feeding and the suckling. Then more snuggling forced by the movie.

The end of the chapter was the icing on the cake. Just the nooking (I had never heard it called that), and the soft conversation. Being content just to hold someone close and have it feel so right.

::whispers to uterus:: Nestle in, little bangers.

My Life To Be, Ch. 1-5

Chapter 1
----------
I love the banter that you have already established between the two of them. They tease openly and both have quick wits. It will be fun to watch these two interact.

Love the twist that their tie is their significant others are co-workers.

Chapter 2
----------
Threw me for a loop thinking that Rose and Emmett already had something going on the side. I honestly believe that it is still just business at this point, but then again, I don't expect that to last long.

Then Edward and Bella are starting their getting to know yous. Their conversation is easy, and already they are fantasizing about each other.

Chapter 3
----------
And now we get a glance at the compatibility of Rose and Emmett, while the current relationships start to crumble. I think four adults are realizing that they all have stayed too long in relationships that haven't worked in quite some time.

Chapter 4
----------
It's nice to see that Bella has the balls to say out loud to Emmett that they need to take a break while she is having doubts. While she is wanting something more. I believe that Emmett really believes he loves her, I am just not sure that is enough anymore.

Chapter 5
----------
I loved Bella and Emmett's back story. It really paints a clear picture of Bella's character, and why she is seeking a loser definition of her relationship with Emmett. She despises cheating enough to alienate herself from all her friends for a semi-stranger.

I like that Edward, though he is having urges for so much more, is contenting himself with being Bella's friend. Hopefully he has a serious talk with Rose before things go any further, because we know how Bella would feel about that. Or is she going to be a hypocrite?

The Training, Ch. 3-5

Chapter 3
----------
This chapter was a pleasant shift in gears. The quiet of the library was such a nice contrast to the storm going on in their minds. They aren't confused, per se, but the lines are still unclear. I think much more of this "offline" conversation needs to happen during the week. Such as, "Is saying 'I love you' OK on the weekend?"

I am not sure if these are details that need to be discussed ahead of time or as they go. Probably as they go, because they won't know there is an issue until it comes up. Still, I hope they talk.

Chapter 4
----------
Back to some new play in the playroom. More interesting to me, though is Edward fighting to get his head in his Master role. That if he has a raging hard on in the middle of the night, it is within their arrangement for him to wake her to get his release. Bella, in turn, needs to learn to be responsive to her master's needs, and when he says jump...

Chapter 5
----------
Edward was very gentle in his mannerisms this time in the playroom. Gentle and encouraging. I think that is wonderful, but he is a little inconsistent at times with Bella this weekend. He shifts from harsh to gentle. I hope it doesn't confuse her.

I am glad Edward called Peter, and that they are going to meet up. Edward is right that she needs someone within the lifestyle, that is not him, to talk to and ask questions of.

It will be interesting to see how they shift back into their weekday personas.

Daedalus in Exile, Ch. 5-7

Chapter 5
----------
Your descriptions of the inanimate things in this chapter really helped put me in the moment. I felt like I was there watching the colors dance off the metal frame of the mattress. I could smell it. That was awesome.

Though, I have to say, my favorite thing in this chapter was Edward in the store. I can only imagine how daunting that trip to be for someone who NEEDED nothing in that store. hehehe.

Chapter 6
----------
Well...there is a twist. Amnesia. Edward has a larger window to avoid the truth of how they both came to be there, and their shared history. Clever, clever...

We also have hit the tip of the iceberg of the fact that the Cullens continued to live out a full "life" in Forks after Edward left that included Bella. He sees it as a betrayal, but they were just living their lives as he forced them to ignore his. This will be interesting to see what happens when/if the family enters into this situation.

Alice promised not to look into Edward's future, but she has no such agreement with Bella.

Chapter 7
----------
It is interesting to read an Edward who is not denying his vampiric nature. We so rarely get to see him in his predatory element. I loved his internal monologue on her reactions and how he knew this was just a mediocre substitute for what it was he really wanted. It's the vampire version of dating girls that look like the one you really desire.

Then there is his conversation with Carlisle. How long before he can't stand lying to his mentor? How long before Alice looks at Bella's future, and finds her with Edward by her side in HIS cabin? Edward himself almost gave himself away with the glue/stitches revelation. He's starting to build up a house of cards.

Poughkeepsie, Ch. 68

Did I ever tell you that I love roller coasters? I mean...I LOVE roller coasters. This chapter was an emotional roller coaster.

You start us down low. We watch Rosalie live out her harrowing past with a little girl that shares the name of her little girl, and that calls her mommy. Our bad-ass assassin has everything she ever wanted thrown in her face...and Emmetts. My heart wrenched knowing that sometimes loving something so fucking much means letting it go.

Then you take us on that slow glorious climb through the wedding. I loved the moment that Edward got down on his knees to capture her attention and assure her calm before continuing the ceremony. I'm also glad the chief allowed Emmett to stay. Eyes teared a bit when the brothers embraced after so long apart. The wedding was perfect, and their moment with their gifts was a beautiful circle to the beginning.

Finally, you plunge us gloriously into the wedding night. Our gentleman is exacting and controlled. He was in control of the night and her body. It was two halves of one soul united in every way. It made you forget that this wasn't their first time together.

Perfect.

My Brother's Best Friend, Ch. 20

I love seeing them so in love and in lust. They have both denied themselves this happiness for so long. I have faith that they can work this out. They are each others future. They know this.

I am sorry that Bella didn't get a chance to tell Edward about her job opportunities. They were so busy with the wedding and being initially in love to be practical. Hopefully they will use their time apart to talk. When they can't be distracted by each others physicality.

I still love Edward's timidness and uncertainty.

Only You Can Save Me, o/s

Fantasy #1: man on a motorcycle

You had me at Harley, bb.

So often times, one shots leave me feeling like I just read a scene instead of a story. With yours, I felt that I was taken beginning to end, and I love that. Your Bella was shy, yet confident. Edward was steadfast, yet vulnerable.

This was a wonderful tale of watching two people who weren't looking for anything and finding everything. I love how you used the daughter as not a means to get the two together, but as common ground. She came to be loved by both of these adults, and in caring for her, allowed themselves to be open to each other.

So happy to see them married with a baby on the way at the end. Their love and that child shows the ultimate level of emotionally healing they have achieved with each other.

Cocktails & Dreams, Ch. 30-31

Chapter 30
-----------
You wrote this Christmas perfectly. You wove quite moments and silent tears of those who are grieving with the joyous moments that show that life does go on, and that you don't have to sacrifice happiness while mourning.

The comedy in this chapter was great. Emmett walking in on them and then Bella's gift of the bell was so clever. Then it was nice to see filterless Bella make a return as well.

Finally, all the gifts were so thoughtful and carried so much meaning. I love the do-overs, and the promise of the future.

Chapter 31
-----------
What a great ending to a great story! They are obviously very contented in their future, and as in love as ever. You wrote the comfortableness of a couple who have long been together perfectly. It contrasted nicely with the Bella and Edward through the story. After all of these years, they are still cashing in their "do-overs"! :)

Thank-you so much for sharing this story with the rest of us! I've really enjoyed reading it.

Over The Top, Ch. 33 (Outtake)

This outtake for the Support Stacy Auction gave a taste of your humorous side that we didn't get to necessarily see in Over The Top. I loved Edward's extreme hesitancy and annoyance with the activity that Jasper has planned for them. His skittishness with the horses and then worries about the fish in the pond were so funny. Such a baby. ;)

The lemon was raw, yet completely encompassed with their love. It is a reminder of everything about this story that made me fall in love with these boys as I witnessed them falling in love with each other.

xo

Devil's Angel, Ch. 2-4

Chapter 2
-----------
I love the background you have given Bella so far. The fact that she, Ali, Emmett, and Seth are all siblings by adoption. I like that she is part of a family business. It highlights the steadfastness of her life, along with the fact that she is still screwing her first love, and not seeking to move on romantically. We get a first feel for her character.

Once we get to the bar and her first interaction with Edward, you show us she is not some blushing flower, but has a quick wit, and a sharp mind. I like this Bella. Despite Edward's smooth, she can still keep her wits about her.

Chapter 3
-----------
I don't know what made me hotter, the lemon or the thought of riding behind that hot piece of man on that bike! LOL!

Seriously though, that was...volcanic. It was the perfect mix of dirty and encompassing. The way he dominated her, but also checked in a not obvious way all along to make sure she was still game for it all.

Looking forward to round 2!

Chapter 4
-----------
Mmmm...round two. Now why can't they make an alarm clock that does that? It would definitely keep me away from the "Sleep" button! Again, the epic heat of your lemons is amazing. I am amazed at how you can balance animalistic want yet make it seem romantic in it's motions and touches.

I am glad that she broke her arrangement with Jake. I am glad, though she was disappointed Edward wasn't there in the morning, he left her with a confidence and new view of what type of relationship she was worthy of having.

Although, I saw Edward as the investor coming, I was not disappointed to be right. :) What now?

Overtime at The Office, Ch. 3

Only you can take a position that normally makes me clinch up, and have me thinking, "Fuck...that sounds kinda nice." Only you, Wingman.

I thought this outtake was absolutely beautiful. Experimentation of new position aside, this chapter wrapped me up in the haze of their love and adoration for each other. I was love drunk and my heart lurched in my chest at Edward's proclamations of the necessity of having Bella in his life. Where these usually come off as cliched or forced, I BELIEVED he felt that way.

Your writing of lemons is by no doubt the tops in the fandom, but your love making, that is even more special. Knowing you, I see that you not only write this devotion, but live it. Just wow. <3

My Yes, My No, Ch. 7-8

Chapter 7
-----------
This path started out as Bella not telling Edward anything out of fear, and I still think that is present, but I think she is also starting to become a bit in denial now. She is of the mindset that Edward's presence = happiness. She is lying to herself and Edward.

I hope that Edward got through to her a bit in the shower, but I still don't think she realizes what he is trying to convey to her. It is all quite sad...for both of them.

Chapter 8
-----------
It wasn't until my rereading of Chapter 7 & 8 together that I recognized the parallel of your 'Yes' Bella and your 'No' Edward both struggling with the words to explain their emotions. Though, 'No' Edward is finding the way to expression much easier.

"In its place was the silence of a woman needing answers and a man running out of ways to apologize." I loved this line.

These two still hit the occasional snag, but now that much of the truth is out there, they are in such a healthy place, and I love the baby steps they are taking physically. I loved the night they sat there on her bed, topless, just feeling each other. That was sexy. Also, your Edward's fingers make me twitch more than most Epeens out there.

elusiV, Ch. 7

I love the addition of the fact that all vampires fall asleep at dawn, and the rate that they wake up is based on age. I thought that was very cool. Very creative.

Now, for the good stuff. Edward and Jacob in bed and then the shower together. Hole - E - FUCK! That was sooo hot! You made it raw and needy, but at the same time it was equally slow and sensual. You displayed how much it was about their pleasure, yet there was not doubt that there was emotion driving their actions. I am loving to see that emotion starting to spill over out of the bedroom as well. They are all experiencing jealousy and protectiveness of their threesome.

Finally, the crime scene. I am anxious to see what it is Bella does to them that buckles them in order to exacerbate or trigger her gift.

Kick the Tires and Light the Fires, Ch. 14

You do such an interesting dance between lyrical description and mythic reference before shifting gears from 4th to 1st with your racing metaphors and lingo. Yet, somehow it works. :)

Hot lemon at the get go there, Chief.

Finally, Bella and Leah doin' a little drunk lesbianism. Didn't see that one coming!

Counterpoint, Ch. 14

I find the irony in reading this now, either that or his naivety, that it is Edward who is always trying to convince Bella of his love and devotion, when really, all along, he should have been looking for hers.

Guarding Edward, Ch. 43

What a great chapter! I loved seeing the Cullens and the wolves at Christmas. Their gifts were a great mixture of funny and thoughtful.

Then Carlisle's desensitization program was very clever. I liked what you did with the gradual introduction mixed with the additive. What a unique idea for making human blood disgusting. :)

The Fallout, Ch. 20-21

Chapter 20
------------
I love how you used the past and the present to show the difference in how they resolve issues. You showed them at the worst of times, and how they started down the path of healing. Then we flash to the present as they force each other to talk out anger and sadness.

Then, you give us Jasper, and it turns out not only Jasper, but Bella too! How strong Jasper had to be to face down Edward, and tell him he had to wait and hear the whole story before he saw her again. Knowing everything Edward felt and is now feeling.

The second part of this tale is going to be more harrowing than the first, but it is going to be more external drama than emotional. The road back, if possible, is not going to be easy.

Chapter 21
------------
I love the gentleness that Jasper showed towards the mother and her child as he found his way to Maria's realm. I hope that they can find their way up to Forks. They deserve a positive community.

Seeing Jasper enter Maria's sanctum and witness just the crust of the horrors that is her underworld was heartbreaking. Knowing that he was feeling everything in that sheltered hell. To see that Maria wasn't only creating an army, but was breaking all vampiric law (as in the case of the Immortal Child). She was more powerful and completely unleashed, unlike before.

Then, to have found Bella, but not even Bella. A creature that once was Bella Swan. I am eager to see what she is now!

Mr. Horrible, Ch. 34

I know you are on a role with Feisty's horseshit reviews, but you are going to have to deal with my sincere one for a moment. Sorry it has taken me so long.

I thought this wedding was the perfect summation of this story. There were elements of traditional being swiped with the insanity of drag queens, Chucks, and curse-laden vows. I thought the ice cream cake was brilliant, and just made me hungry. The entire situation shown the spotlight on all of their better and worse, but in the end, they were standing there together, wanting it all.

I know you started this as a challenge for yourself, but you proved to us all, and hopefully to yourself, that you can do comedy. Even if it is snarky, bizarre, HEA comedy. xoxo

Love Net, Ch. 33

I loved the wedding outtake! I have missed Staff Sgt. Sexy! In fact, I went back and reread the entire story after reading this outtake! :)

The strip tease was awesome, and I loved seeing them in the moment of making their lives together official. They had such a tough road, and I am so happy they have a happy, loving life ahead of them.

Sleepers, Awake: Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme, Ch. 24-28

Chapter 24
------------
All the Charlie stuff in this chapter made me all mushy. Being a daughter of a single father, it made my heart hurt thinking of my own dad all alone, and how sad I/he would be if I was across the country. I guess that is why part of me, while reading this, started to be angry with Bella for being willing to sacrifice her life for Edwards, because there are people who love her just as much as the Cullens love Edward. I had to say I was relieved when her plunge from the Citadel was fail.

Continue to enjoy this crack-tastic story!

Chapter 25
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I loved this chapter! For every question that came to mind, you gave me an answer that I wouldn't have guessed, but I fucking loved.

I love that she was drawn to Jasper playing music, and that it turns out that he was one of Edward's best friends. Then for him to start playing "their song", part of me questioned and hoped that Edward had told him about Bella, but was just as happy to have it been just a coincidence, an urge on his part.

I am so happy they had that night together. To sit and talk about Edward, to share their grief. It is said that hardship/grief shared is hardship/grief halved. Just to know that someone is out there hurting as much as you, for the same loss is comforting. Maybe that is why we mourn in groups.

Finally, I like the fact that they had sex. I think it was more than that. It wasn't making love, but it was a sharing/manifesting of emotion in a physical form. A release of pain, an offering.

Lovely, lovely chapter.

Chapter 26
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This was a modern version of the classic tragedies. Dressing up in the dress, laying herself in the bathtub, and taking the "poison" to take her into a permanent slumber. This was a very romantic death scene. Job hazard for you? ;)

I am so sad for Charlie and Rosalie. These are two people who love her so much. She is such a large part of their worlds. I don't see the heroism to destroy the people you love for the happiness of strangers.

I feel so torn after this chapter.

Chapter 27
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I took such a huge breath of relief as we found Bella awake in her bathtub! I love her found strength. She is liberated, and I loved the symbolism of her shedding the dress like she is shedding the skin of her former self. She buys a ticket to go see Charlie for Easter, and he is so elated that she is coming, that I could feel the smile glowing on my face. Then when she meets up with Rosalie, and is so happy and renewed, I started to become cautious, because after 26 chapters of your fuckery, I am suspicious of too much happy.

The Bella returns to her dream world strong and triumphant. She strides into and face the source of her struggle, and reclaims what is hers just to clutch it to herself as she reaches her demise. :(

Chapter 28
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Alice is the sleeper! Mother fucker.

Heart hurts...heart is hurting. I know you have brought a family the happiness of having their daughter and her voice. You even gave Emmett and Tanya each other. Then, you give Charlie Alice as a surrogate type daughter. But Rose's pain was almost too much for me. A friend should never see their friend carried out of their home under a white sheet. I speak from experience. The pain is crippling.

I know I am supposed to feel some closure, but there is just the pain. So very, very sad.

Thank-you so much for writing and sharing this fabulous story with us. xoxo

Diseased Affair, Ch. 32

Chapter 32 Title: I Could Not Ask For More
Words: 3,026

Edward Wallbanger, Ch. 10

I love the pace at which you are rocking this story. I like that they are becoming friends first. Extremely obvious sexual comments friends, but friends. It is great seeing two adults talk, confident in who they are, and getting to know each other.

I also liked the use of texts to plan the Tahoe trip, and start to unfold the mis-matched couples.

Confessions of a Nanny, Ch. 13

Bless the friends/relatives who take your children for the evening so you can be as loud as you can possibly be! This was funny and sexy. I love a confident Edward who isn't afraid to command a situation.

A Life Extraordinary, Ch. 1-2

Chapter 1
-----------
She's off and running! I liked the detail of Bella's alter perception of Edward's skin. Now what is going on with girlfriend's eyes and touch! Proceeding with abandon.

Chapter 2
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Can you imagine being afraid to touch the man you love while you have sex, because you might hurt him? Well, I guess you can, you wrote it. That was a tad heartbreaking seeing Edward almost begging Bella just to hold him. :(

My Yes, My No, Ch. 6

I like new memories. :)

I am so happy that you had them confront the place where the pain was rooted and talk through what that moment was like for both of them. This reality is so much healthier than the avoidance track. They are now in a place where you hear them say "I love you", and you really believe those words have a foundation.

Her telling him to taste her on his fingers was hot.

The Training, Ch. 2

I am realizing now how they had barely looked at the tip of the iceburg in the course of their last D/s go. Things are going to be very different this time around.

Looking forward to some library down time.

Counterpoint, Ch. 13

Poor Edward. He is so love drunk and sex happy, that he sees the warning signs but is choosing to ignore them. It almost hurts to read these chapters knowing what is coming. I am glad that you gave him an awareness of Bella's detatchment. As of right now, he is a willing gambler.

I loved the moment between Carlisle and Edward. Toasting the cherry popping with a beer. :)

Daedalus in Exile, Ch. 2-4

Chapter 2
-----------
Predator to savior. It is interesting to find Edward not giving a second thought to killing Bella at this point. She is there for his taking, and he has just saved her, not because he wants to protect her humanity, but because he doesn't want to share his snack.

Now an even more tempting Bella lays before him, as that precious blood he craves pours from her.

Not her, ye says. We'll see, says I.

Chapter 3
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Decisions, decisions. I love the subtle shift of his psyche. "Her room". He is already staking a permanence for her that I am not sure he is even aware of yet. Now, he is researching how to save her. Though, she has a head injury that is bleeding out. You might want to smack some vampiric speed on that, buddy.

Chapter 4
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Bella is clean and relocated. Edward's talking to her as he treats her, especially his sweet "sorry", is so endearing. I am waiting for Carlisle to show up because Alice has had a vision, but another part of me feels that Edward needs to deal with this in solitary.

Looking forward to more!

Diseased Affair - Chapter 31

Chapter 31 - Crazy Love

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4849197/31/Diseased_Affair

The Arrangement, Ch. 22

Awww...kisses. Two updates. Two thanks in Hopey author notes. You complete me. :)

What a sobering position for Alice to be in. She was at a crossroads in this chapter. She could have walked away from the mess of these three friends, but she patiently listened to their tragic tale of their fall from grace, and willingly walked into the vortex. I love this Alice. She is patient and kind. She is the calm for once.

Finally, Edward is leaving. It will be interesting to see how you play this one out. I trust you.

elusiV, Ch. 5-6

Chapter 5
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I am happy we are entering more actively into the foray of Bella's abilities. We now have a murdered girl lurking. I am eager to see what role she plays. I have sone guesses.

Then, we have Bella being actively courted by two delicious men who are also pursuing each other. I love that you have made this a delicious arrangement instead of a love triangle...so far, anyways. :) You write glances and subtle sexuality very well.

Finally, you hit us with Jane! Can't wait to see what this means!

Chapter 6
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Bella is going to work for the man. No good can ever come of the brothers & their guard, but we'll wait and see. I am excited that we will be seeing her powers unleashed, and how that intensifies her connection with Edward and Jacob. I could see the scene in the cemetery before my eyes as if I was looking at a movie coming to life.

OK, that feeding business is some of the hottest shit. It is the eroticism of penetration and taking someone into you, but on a whole different plane. Their external, physical closeness followed by Edward being nourished by what gives them life. Who knew that would be so damn sexy.

New Boy Blues, o/s

This was a beautiful tale of the makings of first love. This is the first J/E fic in which they are shy awkward teenagers. My favorite part is that their sexuality made them reserved and anxious about approaching each other, but was not the antithesis for any drama. We simply have to teenagers experimenting, not only with physical love, but dancing on the edge of their first experience with romantic love. This was sweet and shy and beautiful.

Loved it! Good luck in the contest, and I look forward to see more from you in the future!

We Three, Ch. 2

I am glad you did not shirk in the face of complexity. This was a beautiful moment between these lovers. I loved how you didn't shy from the fact that these were two virgins, and allowed their insecurities and curiosities be known.

What a lovely first year.

Devil's Angel, Ch. 1

I would love to know which bike Edward is riding. I see him on something vintage that he has fixed up, even though he could probably afford the newest top-of-the-line. I can always send some links, but knowing you, you have already researched this. :)

I like how you have already set up some sort of past for him. There is something public that he has been through, and a reason he shies away from people he may run into on a daily basis. Very intriguing!

I can't wait to go on this ride ::snicker:: with you!

All I Ever Knew, Ch. 21

I totally forgot about this conversation until I started reading. :) I'm happy you used it. It worked well. Everything with the gift exchange was very casual and cute in their awkwardness and concern on the other liking their gift.

I felt a little tug at my own heart at Jasper's realization that his parent's house was no longer home, but Edward was. I can't wait to see how his telling his family plays out. Hopefully well, though it has been a while since you fed us any angst. ::gives you a leering stare::

Now for the couch business...I'm going to require Mr. Bethie to work out what that did to/for me. Damn, girl!

My Yes, My No, Ch. 1-5

Chapter 1
-----------
I am so pleased to see you exploring this part of the canon. It always bothered me that she just took him back after he completely broke her. That the only pause she had was doubting the reality of the situation (barf). Why should she believe that the lie was a lie? Why should she trust anything he says? What promise could he make to set things right?

So looking forward to seeing what you do here.

Chapter 2
-----------
It's like you climbed in my brain and wrote this just how I like it. I could feel my heart pang several times through this and I love it! Yet, at the same time, I am standing behind Bella nodding at everything she is saying. I love this, Lo. REALLY love this.

Chapter 3
-----------
I am not sure how to define this path. Avoidance; no. Acceptance; not quite. Every word that comes to mind doesn't seem to encapsulate it. I guess, Bella is just going with the path that will give her what she wants, and that is Edward. She is willing to trust that he is not leaving again, and is allowing herself to be wanted and loved.

That last bit was smokin'! I feel unworthy of sending you my feeble texts.

Chapter 4
-----------
Wow. The magnificence of this side of the tale is that you are showing her pain, not through her own wallowing, but in what she is, not rejecting, but in her hesitance? To have the love of your life sitting there describing in painful detail how he wants you mind, body, and soul. Telling you he no longer can nor wants to hold back physically. And finally to have him paint a picture for you of the forever he envisions. Then to hear all of that and still not bring yourself to say the words that are screaming out from your heart. THAT is a broken spirit. Magnificent.

Chapter 5
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That's the funny thing about avoidance, the second you let your guard down, there is the problem waitig for you. In their desire not to hurt one another, they are laying a foundation built of sand.

Does AG know about your dry humps? She just might ask you to move to NH and commit to you forever.

elusiV, Ch. 2-3

Chapter 2
----------
So, I am trying to decide if it is Bella's absolute sexual frustration that has her wound so tight, or if the "undead/supernatural" releases the Nile.

I can't wait to watch Bella find her place in this community.

Chapter 3
----------
Bi-sexual Edward. ::falls ded::

This chapter was very sexy. I look forward to how the relationship of these three unfolds!

Guarding Edward, Ch. 42

I am so happy to see the family settling in, and helping carve Edward's nitche in the group. I love that Edward is a traditionalist when it comes to holidays. I also liked the rules to keep the girls from going nuts.

The inclusion of the pack is a nice touch. It's the closest these guys get to having kids around on Christmas morning. :)

Hydraulic Level 5, Ch. 24

Bless Bella and her restraint. I think, if anything it shows how deep the wounds run. Only a well damaged heart would allow a moment's pause when your soul's other half is asking to kiss you, and pressing his beautiful body into yours. I think this speaks volumes to the fact that, though they are making great strides in building their relationship, they are still miles apart.

I have a feeling that the rest of this weekend is going to seal their fate one way or another. :(

Art After 5, Ch. 54

Bella introduced Charlie to her relationship with Edward. Not surprised that he took it as he did. Bella wouldn't be the tower of emotional health that she is if he was happy for her.

I love how you are still showing their insecurities, and that things are all forgive and forget. That is nice in theory, but NEVER happens in reality. When you love someone so fucking much, and they hurt you, the scares from that always remain.

The Sacrificial Lamb, Alt. Epilogue

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ILY.

The Training, Ch. 1

One of my favorite things you have written in this introductory chapter is Bella's mindset. Her need for this relationship. The way she fingered her collar as she drove to his house. How she was focused on his approval. How, when she failed him, it brought her to tears. I FELT her disappointment in herself. The self-loathing washed over me. You put me right in that moment. Fantastic.

This line made me laugh out loud, "Hell, no, I didn’t want eighteen. I didn’t want the eight I had coming."

Tremendous start, southern belle!

A House of Cards, Ch. 32-34

Chapter 32
-----------
I loved seeing them be a couple in love. Doing normal things like holding hands, curling up to listen to a book (Over The Top...nice), and just going to bed together.

I love that they are socializing and making friends. That they are growing as people and together.

Finally, I love that they are getting back to play. Perfect ending.

I have really enjoyed this leg of the journey. Watching Edward going from hollow man to a loving partner has been tremendous.

Chapter 33
-----------
Mike and Jack!!!! SQUEEEEEE!!!! How long have you h00rs been planning this? I am so happy I didn't know about this, and had this wonderful surprise!

Jack and Mike are going to be fan-fucking-tastic together!

Chapter 34
-----------
Hmmm...why do I not like the look of this. I'll trust you on this one. You have never let me down before.

Cocktails & Dreams, Ch. 29

I love Mrs. McCarty! That household reminds me of my best friend's house growing up. It was a small 3 bedroom house, and there were 5 kids, and everyone had to share rooms and stuff, but they were so loving and generous.

I am so happy that Bella was there in the end. Comforting Edward and caring for both he and Mrs. Masen. The end was especially sweet as she helped Edward bathe, and get him dressed and into bed.

I feel like I can breathe again. :)

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