Stolen Singer, Ch. 7

Poor Alice and Jasper. It would hurt my heart if they never got past this. Or worse yet, if Jasper leaves Alice as part of some self-inflicted exile. That thought makes my heart hurt.

I loved the scene with the hunt! That was the sexiest non-lemon I have read in a very long time. Both of them feeding off of their kill and visually, each other. You could FEEL the intensity of their gaze. It was palpable. The throb of the blood coursing into their mouths was metaphoric for the physical connection that they weren't quite ready for, but could feel.

I'm happy he started humming. I have been secretly hoping that he would unconsciously start singing or humming, because I knew it would trigger for her that this man was her angel. Can't wait to read on!

Seven Minutes in Heaven, Ch. 14

They moved in together! I like that you had them do some redecorating, because I think when you do move into a space that one member of the couple previously occupied, it would be hard to not think of it as "their space". It is always interesting, too, the things you learn about someone by living with them. I liked that Jasper was such a neat freak, yet they found their compromise in Edward's desk being his domain. :)

Looking forward to see where the boys go from here!

A Rough Start, Ch. 19

It is always fascinating to find out what path brought people to where they are today, and Edward is no different. We now know why he is a bit hardened and that he is possibly struggling with being a parent, because he hasn't had one in a long time. It is always interesting to me to find out how and when friendships are formed. We see that Jasper might have been his first true friend, Emmett too, which is why he is so loyal to them.

I love that you are taking things between he and Bella slow. When you date a single parent, you date their kid too, whether you want to admit it or not. Bella recognizes that, and is trying to make this transition into a relationship easier for the adults, and Anthony too.

I hope Edward's meeting with Esme gives him some closure. We shall see.

Devil's Angel, Ch. 20

The tides certainly turned in this chapter! This chapter was so tender, physically and emotionally. Edward stripped himself bare emotionally for Bella. He might not have been able to say the three words that he realized equated what he felt for Bella, but she showed her with the beautiful evening, and the soft love making. I think the thing that really spoke volumes to how much he cares and trusts her is him opening up to her about his tattoo and parents.

I like that you still added the little twist of their kink in there too, because her desire and adventuring nature is an important part of why they work together.

My final thought as the chapter ended was what will this mean for all the work he has been doing with Jasper. Will he be willing to let go of his life long quest to bring his parents' killer to justice in order to settle into a calm life with Bella? Will he continue to pursue it and risk putting those he loves at risk? THAT I will be anxious to read.

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 18

I am not sure that Claudette is in this initial batch. I think she will come in later and swoop in and save the Devil.

Your Devil is anything but. He has endeared himself to me. If I was dealt the same hand he was, I would be king prick for eternity, too.

Will the Cullens be able to stay clear of this epic battle of the heavens? We shall see.

The University of Edward Masen, Ch. 20

This was the first chapter that I felt like we weren't resting under Edward's heavy hand. Instead, I felt embraced, uplifted even. In many ways, I think that Edward in this chapter found and displayed the man he wants to be. Maybe the man he ALWAYS wanted to be but didn't have the incentive to be.

They are starting to explore their boundaries. Bella is allowing herself to believe in her desirability. That she is worthy of affection, whether it comes to her in words or actions...or gifts. Edward is lowering the pedestal a bit, and allowing Bella to be a woman to be touched and desired, yet you can FEEL that he truly cares for her. That he will keep the promises he is making.

Finally, there are still many secrets. They need to find the time to reveal their pasts to one another, realize that those things are not a shroud to hold them down, but a dark cloud that is being swept away by the sun that is emerging.

Counterpoint, Ch. 25

I am attributing the feeling that this chapter came out of no where to your genius. That we are feeling the "What? There was no build up to this." same as Edward. Very well played.

The feeling of Edward's numbness hangs over the page. It is like the wall of cold you know is there that you can barely feel when standing in front of an open freezer. The fact that, after Mike refuses to send a retraction, he PISSES ON HIS BED, we know we are no longer in the room with the same sweet Edward we have grown to love. This is a man w/out feeling, w/out thought of repercussion.

Heart hurts.

Deep Dish, Ch. 7

I love the journey you are taking these two on. Now that Jack is falling, I do think that the distance is going to cause more stress than it did before. I love the excitement I felt in reading the start of this chapter, and the contentedness that I felt once they settled into the evening. I love a good reformed skeptic. :)

I am looking forward to see how their week together plays out.

Stolen Singer, Ch. 6

So now Bella is equipped with a little bit of information. I hope you keep the pace you started. I like that she is finding things out in pieces. Edward is revealing himself in increments. It makes this story more of a lingering walk on the beach vs. a roller coaster ride. I like this exploration of her change via surprise.

Your Edward is so adorkably cute. Emotionally, he feels like a teenage boy. I like that.

Stolen Singer, Ch. 5

I am happy she is starting to get some answers despite not really being ready to believe. If all you know is the vampires of fiction, there would be no way to believe what was her reality to be true.

Like the slow road with Edward. I think he will be patient with her...for her. She needs time to adjust to her new life, discover herself before she is ready to add on the layer of a soul mate.

Interesting twist having Cullen fingerprints, I am assuming Edward's, leading to cold cases from the 20s. Also, the fact that they are detecting something strange in the blood...vamp DNA. Italy isn't going to like this.

Stolen Singer, Ch. 4

"So are we". So great.

I love that you had Bella launch herself at Jasper upon waking. That she was a face she remembered. I think it is good that Emmett was the one to remove her from the house, calm her down, and set her off on her first hunt. Carlisle would have been too wordy. Edward would have expected too much understanding and he has too much emotionally invested already. Rose too harsh. Alice too excited. Esme too soft. It had to be him. He is a straight shooter. Will tell it like it is w/out being harsh or uninformative. He will pace it well.

Poor Charlie having to call Renee. Bless the parents whose children go missing each year.

Stolen Singer, Ch. 3

I am sick for Charlie. I don't even want to imagine how it would feel to have a child missing. Makes me choke just to think about it. No matter what happens, I hope Charlie ends up with some answers in the end. :.(

Edwards consideration and care of Bella is very sweet. I am anxious to see how she reacts.

The Cocky and The Cougar, Ch. 19

I love Esme as the voice of reason when it comes to the heart. She isn't heavily romantic, but very practical. She simply asked Bella one question. What do you want. I am one of those people who has had life experience to know that life is short. I am one to go all in, because to win big, you must risk big. Especially in love, you get what you give.

I loved this little dinner party. It was full of great banter, and gave another look at these characters. Especially enjoyed seeing what Bella and Carlisle are like outside of the office. It gave better insight to their relationship.

Delusions of Grandeur, Ch. 20

King Edward of the cock block. :) One of the reasons I like your Edward so much is that he is a twist on the canon Edward. Moral and "vegetarian". You have displayed one of the large fundamental differences between the two of them, yet you had them discussing, and not preaching. Still, it is a BIG difference when it comes to a relationship. It is one thing to have differing political views, but stuff like religion is a lifestyle thing. One where it is hard to have differing viewpoints in one home. Not saying it can't work, but it's stressful.

The Lion and The Jackal, Ch. 15

It is obvious that both Bella and Edward both still love each other. Though is love going to be enough for Bella in the end. Is she willing to have faith in love, and forgive past wrong doings. I am not sure.

Edward, I have a feeling, is going to face another flight situation, if James gets to Tanya. Will he run again, or learn and tell Bella.

Fault, Ch. 25

I know they love each other and she did it because she wanted to please the one she loves, but damn, the fact that Bella did this for any reason other than SHE wanted to...I'm just afraid this is going to backfire in the worst way. I hope it doesn't, but I have that nagging feeling. I hope I am wrong.

Company Loves Misery, Ch. 10

This is so complicated, yet it's not. Despite the baggage of the past, Edward is right. Bella is his only friend outside of AA, and Edward seems to be Bella's only friend period. Yet going into this friendship, and whatever else is threatening, there is a bit of optimism. Edward has already done his worst to Bella, so they have nowhere to go but up. In a way, it's kind of liberating.

Now I'm all worried and mama bearing over Edward's leg. Didn't even register at first that the fall would agitate or completely undo the healing of his former injuries. I know he is trying to be a superman for Bella, but I think he needs to be honest as well.

A person that hold your hair while you are puking, and does the wash cloth wipe is a keeper. THAT is love, bb. ;)

My Life To Be, Ch. 16

Wow. Rosalie wasn't only a malicious bitch to Edward for lying to him about the baby's paternity, but she also implicated Emmett without talking to him first. He wouldn't be the type who would want Bella to think he was unfaithful while they were together. Maybe he doesn't care anymore. Still, it was a shit thing for her to do.

Now the lovers are free to love. I am so happy that they were honest with each other from the start. That Bella wanted to feel his passion. She wants the heat of real love. The pleasure. In turn, he was able to help her keep his promise and give that poor girl some rip roaring orgasms.

Steamy Movie Crossover Contest
The Boy That Grew Up, o/s

What a sweet tale! I love this idea of Edward on the verge of manhood, returning to Neverland for one last goodbye. I always felt bad for Tinkerbell, because it was obvious that she loved Peter, though could never have him. I like your twist on her getting one moment to be big, and get a kiss before Edward left.

Then to find out that Bella had become every bit of a woman, with grown up needs and desires. I was curious how far you would take it, but alas, Canon Edward made his chivalrous appearance. :)

Very sweet tale.

Stolen Singer, Ch. 2

I love the nuances you have put in your characters in this story. Edward's sentimentality about his youth & life while human. Then the fact that Edward questions Alice. The thought that she would lie to him to protect Jasper. Even had me skeptical for a moment.

As Carlisle pointed out, they have fled locations in the past, but this is a new age. They haven't had to make a flight in the age of quick communication and global tracking. Will they be able to "disappear". I am not so sure.

Looking forward to see how this progresses. How Bella will react when she wakes up to this new life.

Stolen Singer, Ch. 1

What the hell is my problem, Caren? I know I read this chapter before. As soon as I started, I knew how this entire chapter played out. Maybe I read snippets in a WC. Maybe I read the first chapter, and got distracted. I don't know. NO MORE, I tell you!

Now here is something I have never read before. Jasper, feeding off the events of that fateful day, is thrown into a blood lust daze, and takes Bella himself. Why hasn't anyone else thought of this? I feel kind of stupid for not thinking of this possibility before now. See...you are so smart.

Edward, for whatever reason, has laid down the law that she isn't going to be killed, so that only leaves letting her change, because I am guessing you are not going to be doing the sucking the venom out in this tale. ;) Reading on!

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 17

Edward dies and goes to heaven, and eventually human Bella meets him there once she lives out her life as a human and passes away once again. Long shot...I know.

I love that Bella ended up being her own hero. Sometimes a girl just has to take charge! Your devil is quite a deliciously complex character. He is his cocky, out-for-himself stereotype, but then you soften him with the thought of having a true friend. To borrow from the Rolling Stones, I am having a little sympathy for the devil.

Daedalus In Exile, Ch. 19

I just had a feeling that this was what brought her here. That she knew she was going to die. That she had already received a diagnosis. That she didn't want to spend years waiting for a gradual decline. She wanted to just end it. So, she went to the one she knew would. Or...so she thought.

It was fascinating watching Edward come unglued. He tried so hard to convince Bella of his self image, to look at him through his eyes. While he raved and threw the monster about the garden, he failed to realize that there are more than one perspective to every tale.

Spy Games, Ch. 20

A WHOLE lot going on in this chapter.

I am so happy they finally talked and cleared the air on many subjects that have been hanging over them like a black cloud. Most of all, they admitted they loved each other. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that they can go skipping into the sunset. Far from it. I am not sure saying those words ever equated to more angst in their situation.

The lemon in this chapter was smokin' hot. ::fans self:: Edward loves that toy box of hers.

Now, we will see if they can be good on their word, and keep their contact professional or not at all for the rest of the conventions. Will someone catch on, and blow their cover?

Finally, I wonder if Edward knows something that Bella doesn't know about the two tech companies.

My Life To Be, Ch. 15

I will never understand a person who feels the need to cause hurt, pain, misery to someone who doesn't want them, especially when they don't want them either. It perplexes me to no end. Your paths have hit a fork in the road, or in this case, hit that fork long ago. They have been living just complacently for so long. Why won't Rose just move towards happiness? Postpartum craziness?

Bella, on the other hand, is a better woman than I. I would ravage that fine, mostly naked man.

Hopefully, they can all resolve this like adults. For that is what they are.

Stranger Than Fiction, Ch. 11

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! I haven't laughed that hard about something in fic in a while. I think the way you worded it was what made it perfect. "I lay sprawled on the wet grass, having just fallen from the goddamn tree." HAHAHAHA!!!! So great.

I love that he went into her room. It gives great symmetry to how it all began. We'll just see how receptive she is to seeing him once again. She's not the girl from six years ago. I have a feeling a vampire is about to be brought to his knees by his frail human.

Also, part of me was wondering if he was going to get caught ogling her. :) Like look up from the panties to be met by her stare. I like this just as well.

Hiding In Plain Sight, Ch. 21

The reveal at the end was really shocking. If Laurent knew who she was, then the Volturi has known where she has been this whole time. Wondering why they haven't acted. But more so, here are my current concerns:

-If they knew where she was, and even suspected that Edward knew who she was, then Occhi knows. I fear he is being drawn into a trap.

-I fear for the rest of the Cullens & their families.

-Is someone currently trailing Bella? Do they already have her?

Lots of questions now. Lots of questions.

Ride The Wind, Ch. 12

The first part of this chapter shall be tucked away as one of my top 20, if not top 10 lemons I have ever read. It was tender and sensual. The love and reverence these two have for one another radiated off of the page. I could feel the softness of the blanket and the blaze in the fireplace. Each touch, each caress was masterfully written. I love that you also made it real. With the "remnants" of their love making. Fantastic!

I am so happy for the two of them. Happy that they are secure in their love, and are taking that next step moving in together. Also interesting to find out a bit more about Edward and happy he had the perfect studio space for Bella. I think he knew without saying that his less than obvious wealth means nothing to Bella.

I am guessing that Charlie found out about what Jake had done, and finally saw the light. Either that or he is sick or something and is looking to make amends.

The Training, Ch. 16

I love the way that Edward is testing Bella. That he is asking her to do things that she might challenge him on. I think this is his way of training her to hold her tongue, because he knows she wants to please him, but her mind isn't completely where it needs to be. She is still grappling with the mindset of a sub.

I am glad she was honest and Edward stopped the scene in the playroom, and she shared her feelings with Edward. Once again, I think the mentality is going to be her biggest obstacle. I think she can handle, and will greatly enjoy anything physical he throws at her.

Rising, Ch. 3-4

Chapter 3
----------
I have been debating with myself about Edward as I read this chapter. I can't decide what portion of him is a legitimate mental illness that his family has chosen to ignore and what portion is that he is just an epic, unapologetic asshole. I am starting to think that he is a clinical sociopath (by that I mean someone who's emotional part of their brain doesn't work, not I want to wear your skin as a vest). He speaks of emotion, but I am not sure he feels them. If that is the case, he'll never love Bella, or hate her for that matter. It is all the same to him.

Now that they have admitted that this is over for them, I am curious what keeps Bella re-subjecting herself to this. Maybe we have a green period coming up.

Chapter 4
----------
I have started writing this sentence about 10 times, and none of it seems right. Bella's confusion is contagious. Part of me wonders if she hasn't resigned herself to Edward. That she has convinced herself that there is no one out there that can give the green as good as he does AND stays green...all the time. That there could be a life without black, red, and even amber.

But does Bella want a life of green? Will she be content with such a barren palate? I am not sure that she will. Maybe she is more like Charlie than she even realizes, gravitating to a dramatic creature.

I almost thought this was the last chapter the way it was worded. Happy to see there are still a couple more. :)

Counterpoint, Ch. 24

This chapter is another example of how much I love your Esme. She's feisty, and I love it! Especially when he asks if they can never mention this conversation again, and she says, "Hell no!" LOL!

I am going to take in to account that this is Edward's first relationship, and he absolutely loves her to take all of Bella's double standards. It is so evident that she keeps him at a distance. You can really feel in this chapter how her side of things are very on the surface. That she hasn't REALLY let him penetrate her entire being, emotionally.

Passion and Disaster, Ch. 21

It will be interesting to see where they go from here. It was wrong of Edward to keep his long time infatuation from Edward, but at the same time, Jasper is over-reacting just a smidge. I think they both need to take some time to consider if this relationship is worth forgiving for. Worth fighting for.

And also to get Jasper some medical attention. :)

Belonging, Ch. 9-10

I am really loving this story. Your Edward is so sweet, yet so confident in who he is at such a young age. I am sure that is cultural. He is expected to be on the edge of being a man.

I have hope for these budding young lovers. There is the great void that is their cultural differences, but Bella, I feel, would take to Amish life more than she is willing to cede. Yet, I feel that part of Edward wouldn't mind a bit of an English taste to his life.

Anxious, as always, to read more, and see where their path leads.

Life is a Heavy Burden Sometimes: My Year as a 1L, Ch. 1-3

I like what you have set up so far in this story. I am eager to see if Bella's influence might bring out Edward's interest in the law, or will inspire him to find something he is passionate about.

Bella, on the other hand, will probably work herself until she breaks from the look of it. It will be interesting to see what influence Edward will have on her.

I can't wait to read more!

Fourteen, Ch. 2-13

This story was an absolutely beautiful tale of the people you will miss out on in life if you are too shallow to look past appearances. You might miss out on a great friend. A great love.

I am so happy these two worked past his prejudice and her pride to find a love that lasts.

Wonderful story.

When Fiction Becomes Reality, Ch. 17

::double fist pump in the air::

HE'S ENDING THEIR FRIENDSHIP!

That moment was well worth waiting for! Your story has been full of the best UST ever, and this kiss was all the more powerful for it. I am happy the truth is out there and that they are finally going to go on their first date.

I love the fact that you had him write his own annotated version of her book from his perspective. That was a perfect way for her to discover how he felt...feels.

Take The Cake, Ch. 23

I think all of the characters of your story are finding their well worn paths deviating course. They are finding their solitary existences no longer provide satisfaction. That someone has woven themselves into the fabric of their lives and are cold w/out them there.

I love the way Jasper challenges Alice. He pushes in a round about way that doesn't seem intrusive but simply the whispering of ideas.

I sense a large shift is coming soon. Alice might be striking out towards her own dream. Edward is finishing his novel. Bella is learning to live outside of the walls of her store.

The Fallout, Ch. 24

I think it was perfect that you slowed down the pace at this point. This is not going to be an easy reunion. Bella has been through SO much. She has a lot of anger and resentment, even if she does want to move past it, it won't be easy.

Edward on the other hand has had his love return from the dead, basically. He is ready to jump in and hold onto her forever. Never thinking that the one thing he held out hope for might not feel the same.

I think it will be important for them to take their time and share what they have been through in the last decade. Understand will lead them to all the truths they need to make their decisions.

Resident Geek, Ch. 18

Awww...professed love. I am glad that Bella was the first one to say it, though it might have been inadvertent. Bella is right that they need to work on Edward's self-confidence. If there ever was a confidence builder, it is being loved by someone that is obligated by family relation to do so.

I love that Edward was winded running to her sorority house. hehehe.

P.S. Hope all is well with you. Missing you around and about.

Library Rendezvous, Ch. 32

This proposal was just right for them. Sometimes the right moment is just one of the many moments you find yourself overwhelmed by the love of the person standing across from you. I like the detail of her ring not fitting. Often times people have people ask covert questions, or just ask the person, and it does give away intention. I like that it was too big and a total surprise.

These two are going to have a wonderful life of love and friendship.

Confessions of a Nanny, Ch. 17

Trouble is spelled T-A-N-Y-A. Something tells me that this is not going to be the last time we hear from Tanya in this story. She has blackmail material now. The type of information that will tarnish Bella's reputation and her chance of getting a job in her field of study. It will absolutely strain any relationship Edward and Bella may have. This does not bode well.

Until you dropped that bomb, I loved Edward and Bella's interaction. The way she made sure Delilah had a perfect day, and that Edward could just enjoy it (as much as he could). Then she was there once again to take care of him at the end of his stressful day. I think BxE are everything that each other needs, but there is a cloud hanging over them. Shackles of the definition of their professional relationship.

Stranger Than Fiction, Ch. 10

What a way for Edward to discover all that his leaving did to Bella. To have everyone who knew her in that time hit him with all their memories all at once. I can't imagine how he would have dealt with it all if Alice and Jasper hadn't been there with him. He did have some forewarning that there were lingering feelings, and not all positive about their time together as he witnessed her destroying the slides in the bio room.

Then there is Bella. Sometimes when you are experiencing so many emotions, the only thing to do is to allow yourself some escape. Some people drink, Bella clears her mind through orgasm. I thought it was brilliant the way you shifted back and forth between her conscious memory of her last time with Thomas and her subconscious desire for it to be Edward.

The Daily Grind, Ch. 13

I really enjoyed this story start to finish. You did a wonderful job developing this relationship. I love that their initial interactions or lack there of were awkward, and they didn't know quite what to make of each other. Then the forced abstinence was comical.

I love that once they weren't hesitant once their love was declared for Edward to go all in. It was perfect for them.

BTW, I LOVED the coffee sleeves. That was awesome.

Thanks for sharing this story with us!

The Lion and The Jackal, Ch. 14

My heart hurts, but I love that this is the direction you decided to take! All too often in fic, Edward can always be forgiven, no matter the transgressions. I love that you didn't go that route. Bella used Edward at the end of this chapter, because I am sure she wants him to feel as used and discarded as he made her feel. As much as it hurts to read such loss of love, such loss of faith and trust, I love that you did it.

I can't wait to see where we go from here!

New Boy Blues, Ch. 3

I love that these are real teenagers in your story. You write the awkwardness so well. I can see that Bella is either going to be a hindrance to Edward and Jasper coming together, because Edward will misconceive that they are a couple. OR Bella will be a help in befriending Edward, and therefore, act as a bridge between Edward and Jasper.

I have a feeling that this will be the first of many speedy accents home for Jasper. Ahhh...teenage infatuation. :)

Seven Minutes in Heaven, Ch. 1-13

This is such a great ExJ story! It has been wonderful, so far, watching them run the gamut of discovering their own sexuality to discovering each other to looking towards the future.

I love how steadfast in their devotion to each other that Edward and Jasper are through most of this story. That they celebrate the good times and whether the bad times together. I like that you did have them apart for a while. Jasper needed that to discover himself as a man before he could be that man for Edward. Though they were apart, they were suffering together.

Now, they are headed towards happier times. The future. I loved this last chapter in Texas. Especially Granny Hale. :) We all need a woman like her in our lives.

I can't wait to read more!

Ride the Wind, Ch. 1-11

I LOVE this story! It was an easy draw for me from the word Harley. I grew up on them, and a man on a Harley...an EDWARD on a Harley! Forget about it.

Many stories start with a one night stand type of set-up, but you have made that feel brand new. It was a great damsel in distress and knight on chrome and two wheels, but the conversation between them leading to her taking his offer had a great ease and playfulness to it. You let them build up a relationship, yet you didn't make your characters keep each other at a distance or follow some contrived version of how they thought society felt they should proceed. They made their own rules. They are still making their own rules.

This love affair is open. Open to the possibility of love and communicative. They are making such great strides in such short time, because they do talk. They don't shy away from the hard stuff.

The Jake stuff was shocking, and I am so happy that she was gotten to in time. Hopefully, they can get through the trial now, and begin to heal emotionally, and move forward with their life.

I can't wait to read more!

My Brother's Best Friend, epilogue

I really enjoyed this story start to finish. Sometimes life and silence can throw more road blocks before our happiness than anything else. I was happy to see these two over-come those obstacles and arrive in each others arms in the end.

You did a great job in writing the Swans in this story. I liked the addition of Emmett as the big brother. Also Bella as a confident woman with fire in her was pleasant to see.

Congratulations on finishing!

The University of Edward Masen, Ch. 19

It's vodka in the pie crust. I use it in my own.

The thought that reverberated with me through this chapter is how Edward can never be fully accepting of Bella's love, when she is ready to give it, until he learns to love himself first. To accept that he had a torrid past, and it is just that...in the past. It is not the man he is today. I think he needs to strip himself emotionally bare. He has been living so superficially for so long. I understand what he thinks he wants from Bella, but I am not sure if he is yet capable of giving her all that he promises. Not that I don't want him to try to be the man she deserves.

Edward also must stop putting Bella up on a pedestal. It is a long way down and lonely from such perches. None of us are perfect or innocent.

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 16

I am not sure the Devil can do it on his own this time. Are there some vampires near by that could lend a hand?

I love Seraphim Bella. With her unyielding morals and sailor mouth. This one being is taking on so much burden, yet she is steadfast on her mission. Hopefully, the cheeky Devil can get her out of this one.

BTW, WTF is that thing?

Geekward Shuffle Challenge,
About A Geek, o/s

I really liked the two characters you created here. The painfully awkward and shy Edward paired with the effervescent Bella. This couple could be very interesting to read for several chapters. This one-shot would be great as a beginning of a story but with more time between the dry hump on the beach and the declarations. I think it would suit them better with a slow courtship.

I do like these characters, though, and I hope you are inspired to spend more time with them in the future at a slower pace.

Marked, Ch. 11

LOVED this chapter. The two of them with the baby was like a sweet, summer breeze into my soul. Watching the two of them struggle with the emotion seeing the other care for a baby caused. They have both suffered so much hurt at the hands of others. I know it is hard to trust someone with your heart, your life after that, but I so wish they would. I think Edward is going to give in first. He just wants someone to spend the rest of his life with so very much. Someone to settle down with and share every life moment with.

What will Jasper do, though when the moment happens? I am so worried. Jasper said so himself that he can't dangle hope in front of Edward when he may never commit. ::sigh:: Combo hurt and happy this go round.

Devil's Angel, Ch. 19

I am happy that Bella was honest with herself even though she decided to not quite vocalize it to Edward. I am glad that she admitted to the thoughts the anniversary couple evoked from her. It was very rational, in the face of this man she has fallen in love with, to realize that if he doesn't want the same type of future she wants/needs for herself, then it is best to lay her cards on the table now.

It was sweet of her to rescue him from all the things we know he is feeling, but probably doesn't know how to express. I think his actions will speak volumes long before he feels safe enough to let the words fall from his lips.

Now, if external forces would quit trying to force them apart, we would be good.

Late Night Encounters, Ch. 9

Every moment you have created building up to this chapter came to fruition beautifully. I was so excited and anxious along with them. Each touch was a mixture of something brand new combined with the familiar. I loved that you had them have an evening together first. That they shared a meal and a conversation like the now practiced lovers they truly are.

Every word spoken. Every touch and expression monitored. It allowed them to come together in this first perfect night in each others arms. This chapter was everything it should have been.

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, Ch. 39

There is a palpable feeling now when reading these chapters. You can feel the healing of the gaping wounds in these two souls. With each consideration for the other, it is like slowly being cocooned in your favorite blanket. There are still exposed areas that sting when a harsh wind blows, and they may never be completely guarded from the storm of memories, but they are both starting to remember how if felt to be warm.

Bella sharing her albums and stories with Edward was huge in my book. The memories are still so fresh and jagged for her, but with time, in my experience, you are able to focus less on the harsh way you lost your loved one, and more on the positive memories you had in the time you had with them.

They just need to keep doing what they are doing. One day at a time. To enjoy this life they are starting to build together.

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Camouflage, o/s

I really enjoyed the story you created here. I love some good love from a distance. The fact you had her sitting at his table in his chair while he was gone was a great touch. Sometimes it doesn't take much for two souls to find each other and know that is it.

Now they are both starting their careers. Starting their family. Starting their life together and apart all at once.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Semper Fidelis, o/s

I love this story!

Let's start with the obvious. The sex in this story is MOLTEN. Surface of the sun HOT! I think it is so, because it is the love between seasoned lovers. Once you are with someone for so long, you know just where to touch them. Just what to do to make them come (or cum) undone. There was also that wonderful element of teasing and demanding that you are only comfortable testing the boundaries of with someone you trust.

Then just their story itself unfolding on either side of the physical reunion. Her obvious pride and commitment to him and their relationship. I love that you noted that they don't always agree fundamentally, but when both parties have an absolute idea of self, you can respect their steadfastness. Bella doesn't doubt Edward nor he her, because they are so unwavering in their character.

Wonderful, wonderful job.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
The Tracker, o/s

Liking Secret Seviceward, though will he still be as sexy when he is unemployedward for not doing his job. Bella was selfish to ask him to stay. I liked the idea of the story. Might have been sexier if he had convinced her that if she cared for him, she would let him do his job. To show he cared for her by protecting her forger from one who would harm her.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
In the Name of the Law, o/s

I love how you wrote Edward's confidence in this story. It is not cocky or aloof, but just steadfast. Everything about how you wrote him exudes a confidence. Yet, you coupled it with a caring, genuine guy. I like that you displayed a recent history with the two of them. That they had been interacting as friends since they both returned home, so this wasn't an out of the blue one-night stand or I am instantly in love with you type of story. This was something that was building over time.

The scene with him pinning her against the wall when the person tried to break into the house had my girly bits cheering. Protective, sexy man!

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Out of the Ashes, o/s

I loved this look at post-war Berlin! Out of the several historical pieces in this contest, this one by far glowed in authenticity. The language, the dress, the details were all genuine to the time. Bravo for that!

The sweetness of Edward's actions and hers as well was lovely. Then who couldn't help but fantasize about such an act of kindness after so much hurt and heartache, especially when it comes in such a handsome package!

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
I'll Be Seeing You, o/s

I really liked the fact that you had him be captured. It added a great piece of drama to the story, and reflected a reality of war. Their reunion outside the house was beautiful. I also love all of the letter writing.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Today, o/s

There was so much emotion in this story. I think them in the shower together was one of the most touching moments I have read in fan fiction. No lie. His despair and her earnestness in his facing and moving past the guilt put me in the moment. I could feel the love of this relationship. Her steadfastness with a man who would not come home with a smile on his face every day, and when he brought his work home it meant death and pain. Yet, she so effortlessly picked that burden from him. Centered him. Wow.

I really enjoyed this story.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Fortune Favors the Bold, o/s

I love to see extremely smart women in fic! Especially borderline geeky, intelligent women in traditionally male fields. So sexy. Then add a hot, sort of timid ace pilot! Queue the drool. This fic was sweet, intellectually engaging, and just the right amount of smexy.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Surprise!, o/s

Surprise in deed! Jasper sounds lucky to have kept his secret for so long. Though I think it is fucking ridiculous the military's stance on homosexuality. Fucking ri-dic-u-lous.

This was extremely hot. The three of them together, and it didn't just feel like fucking. This felt intimate and full of love, as well as pleasure. There was care and tenderness in their little pillow nest.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
The Possibility of You, o/s

Four alarm fire in ma pants! Firemanward, stat! LOL!

I loved the way you portrayed Bella and the guys in this story. I love that she was respected for her abilities, and that Edward was as proud of her progress and accomplishment in her career as she was.

I have to admit that I like no rules were broken by either of them. That Edward was patient until it wouldn't be detrimental to either of their careers.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Love Ignited, o/s

Thank God my husband is fixed, because after reading your story I want to be pregnant again! See, this was why we got him fixed. My resolve is weak when it comes to pregnancy. I just don't want any more kids on the other side. ;)

I loved that they had a love affair that from their youth, and it grew stronger with the distance. I also appreciated that you didn't gloss over her emotions when he was gone. I have such a great admiration for all military spouses.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Sincerely, Edward, o/s

I loved this story! I am a sucker for letter writing. I don't believe that you need to be face to face to fall in love. Love is done through words and actions, and sometimes through waiting. There is such honesty in your story telling. The people feel real. The emotions feel real, and by your A/N, there is a lot of real to this. This is a new favorite for me.

Bless you and your soldier and good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Back to East Timor, o/s

I like the unique story line you picked for your one-shot. I think it is also a very complex idea for a one-shot. I think this would be great as a full length story, where you can delve into the details of what they are doing coinciding with a developing love affair.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Unexpected Peace, o/s

I often wondered about how Jasper dealt with feeling the lust and loving feelings of others before he had Alice. Not that I imagined him experiencing much of it beyond the newborn superficial feelings in his life with Maria.

It wouldn't surprise me at all if experiencing genuine friendship and affection from Peter might sway him to take refuge in his arms. I love how you portrayed it here.

Good luck in the contest!

The Cannabean Betrothal, Ch. 15-16

Chapter 15
-----------
Edward is so racked with betrayal by those he loves in his life, that it has become his rule instead of his exception. He is always waiting for the other shoe to drop with Bella. He is expecting it to end in disaster. In other words, especially this chapter, he is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Not only does Bella need to talk to him, but he needs to express his feelings and needs to her. She thinks she is doing things to please him, but they are both operating under assumptions. They need to sit down and lay it all on the table.

...and Edward needs to jerk it a bit more often. I know he feels sinful and guilty when he does, but for physical health and mental, I think he needs it.

Chapter 16
-----------
Finally some talking! The communication issues are exacerbated by their courting rules. There are subjects that they CAN'T talk about...or at least it appears that they can't. Like the issue of why the dress was a problem. I hope they keep talking.

Nice to see has a bit of a temper to her. Some fire. She'll need that if she is going to spend her life with Edward to pull him out of his sullen tendencies. I hope she unleashes it on him more often when he starts to be a jackass.

Poor, confused kids.

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
A Leave Worth Taking, o/s

I love a good whirlwind romance. Where people feel and instant connection and don't shy from it or follow any "rules" on when is the appropriate length of time that has passed before one can express their feelings. They just are all in. I think when you have worked/work in a field where you have to face mortality every day, you realize how short and precious life is. Grasping onto happiness when it presents itself is beautiful.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Forged Through Fire, o/s

You had me at "pulled my suspenders over my shirt". I do love a good Firemanward. This was one of those great fairytale-ish stories. Love at first sight. Hero risks mortal danger for the girl. Hero gets the girl. Sometimes this is just what the doctor ordered. :)

Good luck with the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
One Night At The Happy Rooster, o/s

When I first started reading this, I was immediately swept back to China Beach! God I miss that show. SO, I was so excited to read through this. I loved this Bella. Strong, hard drinker, quick mind and her own woman. I am sure it was no piece of cake for a woman in the 60s/70s to get her medical degree.

Great moments from the cab head to the goose egg from the headboard!

Good luck in the contest!

Tattward/Inkella Contest,
Sleeper in a Clone Suit, o/s

That was just about the hottest fucking thing that I have read in a LONG time. How did I miss reading this in the competition? I love her bitch coming out whenever he was near, and her subsequent unraveling at his true self. You give a great gamut of emotion on this. Awkward to raging lust to a beautifully sweet ending.

An Officer and A Gentleman,
Coming Home, o/s

I am tremendous respect for military spouses. I have never been one myself, but I can't imagine the isolation and constant worry when your loved one is deployed. Then, for Bella, to go through her first pregnancy not even knowing if her husband, her love is alive! It takes a strong woman to keep the stress down for the sake of her child.

Then Edward's tale of such strength and bravery. Bless our troops and our vets.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Wild Temptress of the Scottish Highlands, o/s

Right on to you for picking a ancient history officer for your fic! I'm a history nerd, and the Rome lover in me melted a bit. I loved the fact that you were never sure if Bella was all human. I like the idea of her as a banshee. They actually are much more than just a crying woman in Celtic mythology.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
The Price of a Sacrifice, o/s

This is a beautiful story of finding love, first love. The way you write them giving into their love was careful and awkward. It was authenticity wrapped up in your time period.

Edward's experience was sickening to the soul. I am not sure any amount of alcohol or time could erase such an assignment.

At least he found and rescued his love in the end.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
The Officer and The English Gentleman, o/s

I have never read an older Bella with a younger Carlisle before. Very interesting twist! It did actually take a minute for me to wrap my brain around it, then throwing in Esme as her sister w/ Edward as her nephew. Still...it worked.

The lemon was smokin' in this one, ngl. Who new Carlisle could be so...m.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
The Surveillance of Bella Swan, o/s

Rut-roh. Edward just nailed a suspect. Not going to look good on the permanent record if she turns out to be involved.

The kiss and the quick romp were hot. I love that you left us not knowing Bella's knowledge or involvement. I gotta admit I am still suspicious of her.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Walk In Beauty, o/s

I love the story of the code talkers. It was one of those moments where the US Government embraced our differences, and realized that the fact that we have so many cultures can be a blessing. What a beautiful and rich culture our Native American population has, and to think we almost obliterated it because of greed.

One of these days, people are going to start choosing love over discrimination. We all love our country, and our hearts should not dictate our ability to serve her.

Thank-you for this beautiful story, and good luck in the competition!

Daedalus In Exile, Ch. 18

She remembers. I had a feeling that her being there was pre-meditated by her, and of course Alice saw it, and didn't discourage it. I am wondering if she didn't, because she knew how it would alter Edward, but because she sees Bella dying if Edward doesn't fall in love and change her because of whatever is going on in her brain. Or maybe he will just kill her, because she is going to die anyways.

I can't wait to see how you wrap this one up!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Burn, o/s

::hands over part of my soul in an old shoe box:: That is for you to keep. It is the part that you have taken with the subtle power you convey with your words. So effortlessly, your characters wind themselves around my synapses, and my world becomes their world. I feel their longing and confusion and need. I chose the shoebox, because your writing doesn't bewitch me with great fanfare like a shiny, ribboned gift, but in a comfortable way like something you would collect bits of treasure in over time.

Good luck in the contest!

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
Forged, o/s

I really enjoyed this story. I was hoping someone would do an injured vet, and even thought of writing one myself. I am happy to have yours to read.

The emotions of Jasper were written so well. I can't imagine how it would feel for someone like J to feel any type of weakness. It was like you had Bella say at one point that physically he was fine, but emotionally/mentally he was stuck.

Glad they both found the final piece to their recovery in each other.

An Officer and A Gentleman Contest,
A New Sheriff In Town, o/s

I liked Bella as the Chief. That was rather hot. The story kept me wondering if her pulling him over wasn't just some roll playing fun for an already established couple, or an actual traffic stop leading to more.

Good luck in the contest!

Fault, Ch. 24

I think we have all experienced a friend like James. That flits in and out of our lives when they deem necessary, yet have the power to crush our spirit with one turn of phrase. I think Bella is that friend to James as well. I think Bella needs James if only for the fact it will keep her from being isolated from anyone else.

What an interesting end to this chapter. I am happy that Bella found her voice. It is easy to be taken away by a moment. Especially a moment where there is so much emotion to go with the actions they were on the cusp of. It will be interesting to see if they can talk this out, or if Bella will freak out.

Hiding In Plain Sight, Ch. 20

Interesting that Bella worked as kind of a mole for the Volturi there at the end. I could see where it would be an awkward job for her, but at the same time, she would be great at it, because she looks very trusting...because she is.

As for the present, I had a feeling this day might come, but my heart hurts. I don't think there are any of us who wouldn't try to protect those we love by any means necessary. The means within Bella's power is to leave. Though, I am not thinking for one second that Edward won't be hot on her trail.

Hydraulic Level 5, Ch. 27

There are those people who are such a part of the fabric of your life that all experiences with them are always just under your skin. They can leave you blind to your own actions, because you are always searching for a memory instead of embracing the person that stands before you today. This is where Bella is. She is searching for the perfected version of Edward once again. Which might have been their downfall in their youth. E said that she always saw the ideal him instead of who he was. He is not perfect. He is just a man. A confused man and an unsure woman.

As for your A/N. Tears leave me choking on my words. You got nine wonderful months with him, holding him closer than anyone else ever could. Though not in body, he'll always be with you. ::hug::

The Training, Ch. 15

I loved this chapter. I think it was a necessary step in their relationship. I was so stoked last chapter that she had initiated a session. I thought it was a great sign to him that she wanted this side of their relationship as much as he does. Turns out, she did not think it through. Part of their D/s relationship are rules. Rules that he sets and she follows. Rules, in this type of relationship, are black and white.

I couldn't believe she was "talking back" in the playroom. I was saying out loud for her to "Shut it!" With an unscheduled session, she has to learn to turn off her Bella brain and shift to Isabella. If Domward says the sky is purple, you say "Yes, Master." If he says you have one hair out of place, "Yes, Master." Come on, woman!

They are at a place, where they are talking things out and being honest after, and I love that.

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 15

I am thinking big D makes it to Earth, and the showdown happens there. Isn't that the ultimate battle ground for these two anyways?

I loved this chapter. Her battle in the hallway was one of the most creative things I think you have written to date. I am in awe of the various degrees of torture you created for Bella as she sought out the big man. Wow, just...wow.

Deep Dish, Ch. 6

I like the pace you have set for Jack and Mike to be friends. It is not rushed, but a gradual easiness that you find with someone you connect with. It is nice to have a "work friend" as well. You have clearly laid out that this assignment is stressful, so it is great that Jack will have Mike to talk to about, not only the stresses of work, but to unwind during lunches/breaks with.

Jacey's back! I love seeing Jack shift. He is more aware of it now, I think. He recognizes that he is doing things for someone else's pleasure, and non-sexual pleasure at that. I am excited about this upcoming week, and a little nervous too, for some reason. I've got my eye on you, doll.

The Cocky and The Cougar, Ch. 18

I am happy for the easy friendship she seems to be capable of with Truman. I just hopes is means what he says about being JUST friends. It is apparent that he is looking for more, but Bella would hate it if he was waiting or holding out for her. It will be interesting to see how Edward reacts to the new friendship. Hopefully, it will be a chance for him to prove that he is a mature man and is trusting of Bella. You must give trust to receive it.

I look forward to see what further efforts Edward puts forth to re-secure Bella's faith in him. I have no doubt that he will refuse to give up unless she tells him straight out that there is no chance for a them again.

A Rough Start, Ch. 18

This chapter is an interesting example of how it is never about just the two of you when kids are involved. They had their small moment of being lovers as they waited for their table, but the instant they started to converse, it turned to Anthony. It is even more likely to happen given that Bella is Anthony's teacher and caretaker, but they need to maybe even force themselves to NOT talk about him, and start to discover more about each other as individuals.

The mom convo really killed the night, didn't it.

I am anxious for them as their relationship begins. Not only do they have some external forces stepping in their path, but I am wondering if there won't be some negative reactions if the women/mothers of Bella's class find out.

The University of Edward Masen, Ch. 18

I love when I am reading a character that challenges me to stay in the fiction. For example, this Bella is dancing on the edge of being controlled, and that kind of weakness, personally, makes me see red. For now, she is standing up reminding him that Peter is her friend, her only friend, in Toronto. I will be interested to see if she can hold on to this scrap of free will. I am enjoying a Bella you don't often see.

Edward, on the other hand, has me worried. I am fearful that jealousy is a) going to make him show their cards, b) ruin this would-be relationship with Bella, or c) all the above.

I feel like I should get a credit hour for that chapter! ;)

Company Loves Misery, Ch. 9

I have to admit, part of me loves that she rejoices a bit in his pain, like when he falls off the ladder. Though not many will admit it, we love seeing karma deal it out to people who have wronged us.

They are both trying so hard at this point, but they are fighting years of anger and problems. This is not a project of months, but maybe years, before they can be at a place of complete amicability. They will always carry the scars, though. You just do.

Have a feeling that Bella is digging herself into a world of shit with the Aro thing. Just a gut feeling. Either that, or she will be the hero of the town, etc. I patiently await.

Devil's Angel, Ch. 18

This is the chapter where we really see a growth in Edward. A shift in his personality. Maybe he hit his head harder than we realized? ::wink::

Seriously, though. I love that he is no longer running from life, but running towards it. There are those people we come across in life that alter our very chemistry. Bella is that for Edward. She matches his personality, yet brings his calm as well.

I walk away from this chapter with a smile on my face and an easiness to my soul.

Take The Cake, Ch. 1-22

I started reading this story earlier this week, and have finally caught up.

I wasn't sure how I would like the hopping around of, not POV, because you write in 3rd person, but perspective within a chapter, but it has ended up being a delicious derivation from the ordinary. It is almost like watching a play where you are looking inside a multi-room building, but the wall has been cut out so the audience can see everyone at once. It really, really works.

Things I am loving about your story:

1. Your Bella. She has had her heart betrayed in the most confusing way, because how can you fault someone for realizing their sexuality points them in a different direction. It has been great to see her start to resolve the unhealthy relationship she and Jake have been living. My favorite thing about Bella, despite the terrible things she has experienced, is her happiness and general optimism. It's contagious, and if a cupcake was an emotion, that is how she makes me feel when I read her.

2. Your Alice & Jasper. THIS is how I pictured them in their discourse and private moments when reading the books. They have such rich and interesting conversations, but then they have easily silence. I especially the night of them waiting on the pizza, and then their silent meal and the way they anticipated each others needs. Loved it.

I can't wait to read more. I am so excited for you and your story!

Bad Press, Ch. 8-12

Chapter 8
-----------
I love how they get at each other in this chapter. Him giving PR nightmare comments and her signing him up for the golf tournament. It is interesting seeing them using info from their "real night" together as ammo now.

Chapter 9
-----------
The end of this chapter is everything I love about your writing. You have some of the best banter ever! The quick and smart give and take with these two is like watching a Hepburn/Tracey movie.

An interesting twist that it was, in fact, Esme who sought out and insisted upon Bella as their PR person. Mama bear has spoken.

Chapter 10
-----------
I loved this red carpet. Not only to get to see Bella in her element, but the surprise of Edward not being who she expected. I loved when she saved Alice. In that moment she secured a friend, and also the respect from a brother who just had his little sister looked after.

Then you cut me off with some stubble scruff and ghosting hands on hips. ::sigh::

Chapter 11
-----------
You gave a lot of insight into Edward's character in this chapter. We now understand his PR reluctance from his experience with Tanya. Also, why he has been such an apparent loose canon in the past with the press. I could never imagine how hard life is as a public figure. To always worry about what you say or do. Edward hasn't cared much, because he saw Edward the man and Edward the businessman as two separate parts of his life. Bella held the mirror up to show him that to the eyes of everyone else, the are one in the same.

Friends...yeah right.

Chapter 12
-----------
I loved everything about this chapter. It might have broken into the top 10 in my favorite chapters ever. The farmer's market was the perfect blend of them getting to be friends mixed with some innuendo and classic banter. I felt so relaxed reading their interactions. You transported me to that moment, and it was like I was the third, silent friend walking along with them.

Dinner was great with the dynamic of everyone there. Then you gave a us a kiss, and Edwards, "We'll make it up as we go along". Love it!

Stranger Than Fiction, Ch. 9

There are certain events, people in our lives that we will never "get over". They are so encased into the fabric of our being that they are always there. I always felt that is what hindered canon Edward. Despite he many years on the planet, he was rather sheltered. He never got to experience those relationships, outside of his family, that are permanent and lasting. Bella is human. We hold onto certain things for eternity too.

Daedalus In Exile, Ch. 17

This chapter and Alice's request further, not confirms, but enhances my suspicions that whatever is ailing Bella is a permanent, and in-fixable condition. That Alice possibly sent her on this quest hoping/seeing that Edward would fall in love with her, and give her eternal life instead of the death she is heading for. Just hypothesizing.

The next chapter should be very interesting.

Company Loves Misery, Ch. 8

Don't beat yourself up over a usage of a certain prop within your narrative. Remember that the entire duration of 12 Angry Men is spent in the same room sitting around the same table. Sometimes consistency of environment increases the poigniency of the dialog.

I am proud of Edward's achievement of reaching the one year mark. I was gifted with my step dad's five year and ten year coins. They are some of my prized possessions.

I love your use of Edward and Jasper to contrast dealing with this disease. Edward, despite it all, is actually quite hopeful. He hopes for redemption and to be the man he should have been all those wasted years. Jasper just can't picture himself as anything but the drunk. A sober drunk now, but his self-worth is still what it was. He doesn't love himself at all, so as much as he says he loves Alice, he can't. Not like this.

Finally, I am looking forward to see if Bella's investigative journalism gets her in trouble. Hairs on the back of the neck say they are. That there are some bigger fish things going on. We'll see.

Restoration, Ch. 28

Bella's past I'm afraid happens to far too many girls/women in real life. Held in abusive relationships by fear or helplessness. Makes me even more fearful at the thought that James is Edward's contractor.

I am happy that Bella shared her story with Rosalie, and now Edward. It would always be a black cloud hovering over her, shackling her still, if she didn't. Now Edward will understand the nightmares, he will know all of her.

The Training, Ch. 14

RAWR! I love that this session is Bella instigating! I think is such a demonstration of how they are beginning to see how they can make this work. How they can even be unscheduled in their play.

The foyer was delicious. The combination of the poetry falling from his lips while they grazed her skin mixed with her worshiping touches. I think my mouth was hanging agape.

Bad Press, Ch. 8-12

Chapter 8
-----------
I love how they get at each other in this chapter. Him giving PR nightmare comments and her signing him up for the golf tournament. It is interesting seeing them using info from their "real night" together as ammo now.

Chapter 9
-----------
The end of this chapter is everything I love about your writing. You have some of the best banter ever! The quick and smart give and take with these two is like watching a Hepburn/Tracey movie.

An interesting twist that it was, in fact, Esme who sought out and insisted upon Bella as their PR person. Mama bear has spoken.

Chapter 10
-----------
I loved this red carpet. Not only to get to see Bella in her element, but the surprise of Edward not being who she expected. I loved when she saved Alice. In that moment she secured a friend, and also the respect from a brother who just had his little sister looked after.

Then you cut me off with some stubble scruff and ghosting hands on hips. ::sigh::

Chapter 11
-----------
You gave a lot of insight into Edward's character in this chapter. We now understand his PR reluctance from his experience with Tanya. Also, why he has been such an apparent loose canon in the past with the press. I could never imagine how hard life is as a public figure. To always worry about what you say or do. Edward hasn't cared much, because he saw Edward the man and Edward the businessman as two separate parts of his life. Bella held the mirror up to show him that to the eyes of everyone else, the are one in the same.

Friends...yeah right.

Chapter 12
-----------
I loved everything about this chapter. It might have broken into the top 10 in my favorite chapters ever. The farmer's market was the perfect blend of them getting to be friends mixed with some innuendo and classic banter. I felt so relaxed reading their interactions. You transported me to that moment, and it was like I was the third, silent friend walking along with them.

Dinner was great with the dynamic of everyone there. Then you gave a us a kiss, and Edwards, "We'll make it up as we go along". Love it!

The Cocky and The Cougar, Ch. 17

My heart hurts...it hurts...

I've got to admit, I like this Truman guy. Most of Bella's friends are younger than her, and I think it would be nice for her to have a friend closer to her in age. There is something to be said about someone who has experienced things in life at the same time frame you have. There is some comfort in that. So regardless, I hope Bella is able to build and maintain him as a friend.

Edward, Edward, Edward,...life lessons, buddy. 1. You can't be in a relationship and hide secrets like you were hiding. 2. You can't show up at ex- or in-limbo-girlfriend's friend's birthday party and start making accusations. You were a dick before, but you're an even bigger one now. WOMEN don't like childish douchebags. We just don't. You are in a whole the size of Lake Erie. I hope you brought a big shovel.

Crushed Seraphim, Ch. 13

No fucking the devil! Can you imagine what kind of fiery, heinous venereal diseases they dish out in Hell?! Plus you know big D isn't gloving, and we know he's dipped his pen into some REALLY skanky wells. Run, bitch, run!

That being said, I hope after the Cullens watched Edward's display of levitation, that was obviously not his doing, they have garnered some faith in what he has been telling them. Enough to help him, anyways.

Fault, Ch. 23

I hope you had a happy birthday!

Now THIS is what a teenager's first sexual experiences should be like. Fumbling and awkward, and not quite knowing how or where to touch. That is what first loves are for. To experiment and learn in the safe confines of love. Hopefully, Bella can face and move past her past, and embrace the remains of her teenage years as she should.

The revelation about the Cullen baby that died adds another layer to the Cullen family, but to Edward's character too. I have seen what parents who go catatonic after the loss of a child does to a surviving child. Edward is hurting emotionally too, not from the loss of the brother, but the loss of his parents.

Stranger Than Fiction, Ch. 7

Ah...he can't be there for her right now, but his brother can help temper the situation. I'm glad Edward showed some restraint in the end, because his emergence would most definitely send the breakdown into a tailspin.

I think gradualness will be Edward's ally. Send Alice over upon hearing news of Charlie "in the papers". Let her tell Bella that Edward wants to come pay his respects if it is OK with Bella. But most of all...I don't want to know what you are doing next at all. I like to be surprised. :)

Confessions of a Nanny, Ch. 14

I hope that the custody papers don't give her any right to be there. Mostly, because it will scare and confuse the shit out of the child! You can't MIA for most of a child's life, and then show up. Obviously, by all current and former actions, welfare of the child = 0 for her.

We'll see how things keep going for Edward and Bella. It's not healthy for a relationship to be kept closeted. They say it's "just for fun", but that never remains the intention or desire for at least one of the parties for long.

Bella getting info recon from Emmett is going to blow up in her face...I just know it.

At The Deep End, Ch. 23

Thank-you for allowing me to test the waterproof truth of my mascara. I cried and sobbed through this one, bb. I cried for Jasper for being abandoned by his parents. I cried for the hate in their hearts that shackle them from the love that would come with gaining another son. I cry for everyone who chooses to apply rules to love.

They need to be strong in their love for one another. This is going to be a confusing time for Jasper and a guilty time for Edward. Hopefully they will wrap themselves in their love and weather the storm.

All I Ever Knew, Ch. 22

I smelled trouble the instant Jasper handed off his phone to his sister. I was expecting her to intercept the NYE call, though, not fucking scream out to the entire fucking God and everyone what she was seeing on Jasper's phone! WTF, tactless sibling! I hope she feels really fucking bad about this for YEARS. I audibly gasped when the moment happened, and my hands flew to my mouth, where they remained for the rest of the chapter.

I was worried at first when Jasper got home...yeah I called it home, because let's face it, it is. I was worried that he was committing to this on a technicality, and not because he was really ready, but because he was scared that after what just happened, that Edward was the only person he had left that loved him.

Once again, your writing proves that I'm an idiot. It was sweet and awkward and perfect. I love that Edward didn't go for days. That he was a one-pump chump the first time, and Jasper hurt. I like when people keep it real. The second time was slow and beautiful and ::sigh::

One last note, I love that Edward called Jasper out on running out on his folks. Edward, who has no parents left, would find behavior despicable. Once again, showing how perfectly they balance and compliment each other. Kinda hope Edward goes back with Jasper to meet the Whitlocks.

The Lion and The Jackal, Ch. 12

Unfortunately, regaining someone's trust once it has been broken, especially when it comes to the heart, is a slow, uphill battle. I love how absolutely patient you have Edward being with her. He KNOWS he fucked up. He KNOWS he deserves nothing. Yet, he hopes and loves and hopes. Nice small victories towards redemption gained in this one.

The last few lines leave us wondering if she'll allow the truth to be heard, or if we watch Edward body be battered as he falls hard back down the mountain.

DefinatelyStaying and I placed 3rd in the Slash/Backslash contest hosted by AngstGoddess003 and Pastiche Pen!! We even got a pretty banner. :)

The Daily Grind, Ch. 6-12

Chapter 6
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Sometimes you just can't help making out with the person you love. Especially when they are all cute and vulnerable. Then, when you are sick, you are willing to do ANYTHING to feel better.

I love how you made them caring and VERY frisky, but always at ease.

Chapter 7
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A little dry humpin'. Does AngstGoddess003 know about this? :)

I like that you are still keeping them at bay, though it goes against my own tendencies. I start to worry, though, that they are getting to the point where complete physical intimacy will become this black cloud that is hovering over them. That no time will feel like the "right" time, yet they will both be making themselves mad with want in the meantime.

I hope they realize that they can have the physical connectedness and it won't diminish what they have established emotionally.

Chapter 8
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I love your sway from the beaten path with your characters. It makes me smile every time some aspect of Bella pleasantly surprises Edward as well. Why should she not be athletically inclined and hold her own on a run? Plus, I love his jealousy warring with his desire. :)

I think I am going to get along with this Rosalie just fine, too. She is nothing like canon, other than her blonde hair. Shy, glasses, yet a quirky sense of humor. I can't wait to see her interact more with Bella.

Chapter 9
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::sniff:: I miss my paternal grandparents. They were the coolest.

So it took them all coming face to face to realize their connections, but the cat is out that they are one big happy family of Cullens and roomies. I like how you have depicted Esme in this one. Sassy!

Finally, sometimes it takes others holding up the mirror to face our emotions. I felt so bad for Bella's panic, but am glad that instead of staying on the combustive path she called Emmett. She needed those 10 minutes of realization and reassurance. For her and for Edward.

Looking forward to the rest of Thanksgiving. Going to read now.

Chapter 10
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I can't believe she slapped him! I have a feeling that she cooked dinner, and was going to reveal her feelings for him in this perfect way, and that is what had her all upset, and obviously it didn't bother him, but still.

These two need to sit down and have that REAL talk. It's not even a talk, it's three words. That and the lack of sex are driving them apart, not bringing them together. ::sigh::

Chapter 11
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Friends don't let friends cut their hair. End of story. Actually, in high school, I cut my own hair. It involved the careful placement of three mirrors in the bathroom.

He said it! She said it! Weight lifted.

Now hair is fixed, and the moment I have been waiting to happen, Rose and Emmett meet.

Lucy, you've got some resolving to do in only 2 more chapters...unless you have decided to push past 13...

Chapter 12
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That was just right.

I'm so happy after all this time of holding back, and who says what first, and "too soon", I'm proud of Edward for asking her to marry him. Why the fuck not! There is no rule book with love. You got to feel, and go with that feeling.

::now turns to braid and put flowers in our hair::

The Daily Grind, Ch. 5

Now we have met Emmett. I love when Emmett and Bella are siblings. It really works.

I was worried you were about to throw some misunderstanding drama at us, so glad you didn't. I like that you have them surrounded with a positive support network who make them be rational.

You know you are feeling something when you agree to take care of someone sick. Especially a sick man. They are nightmares.

The Daily Grind, Ch. 4

No teasers for me, thanks. They are against my religion.

It is great how they keep cock-blocking themselves, but it doesn't feel contrived or forced the way you are writing it. I love the cuddly moments and slow kisses on the couch.

Her tale and his were so sad. Kids are fucking mean.

The Daily Grind, Ch. 3

Sad to report that I have never ended a date early for the sexy times. :(

Bella is lucky that Edward likes her brand of spaz. She is a bit of one in this story, though she is of right mind enough to reflect on her relationships in the past and really think about what she wants from Edward moving forward. They both have been surviving off of pure physicality with no emotion for so long, that this will be an interesting change of pace for both of them...if they last. Goodness knows I wouldn't!

The Daily Grind, Ch. 2

AM Daily: Coffee black w/ 2 sugars, or Coconut Cream Coffeemate
Special: Caramel Latte

I like that Edward is slightly neurotic. I always felt that canon Edward was emotionally awkward not because of the vampirism, but it's just who he was. I like that your Edward shares those qualities. I like that he is regimented. Then again, I like that Edward can bring the heat when the time is right. Ooo AH!

The Daily Grind, Ch. 1

::grins and waves fingers coyly::

Well, hello, gorgeous.

I love that you have presented Bella so far as a total train wreck when with Edward. I don't think I have seen one who is so out of her element and completely self-embarrassing upon first contact(s). That this awkward interaction has been going on for a while is a nice. I'm glad you aren't doing a I-just-met-you-and-now-we-are-going-to-go-at-it-like-teenagers. They have some history, though awkward. Enough to know each others nuances.

Nice to know Edward's intentions, honorable and ::gulp:: dishonorable. Carrying on.

Coming To Terms, Ch. 26-27

I loved those real details you laced into the last two chapters. The absolutely heart wrenching feeling the first time you leave your child after giving birth, no matter the time frame. Then the ache of their first night away from you. I can remember like it was yesterday, and it was almost 7 years ago!

In the end, you allowed Bella to keep a piece of herself. She stood firm on her needs, and that is the only way they were going to work. If she acquiesced to his desire for her to stay home, they would have failed in the end, because she wouldn't have been happy. You can't make an 'us' happy, if you aren't.

It was nice to see them both surrounded with love and family in the end, and expanding family. :) Wonderful, gripping story. Joy and heartache start to finish.

Hydraulic Level 5, Ch. 25-26

This publicity tour should be interesting to say the least. It will definitely make or break them. It will be great all that time together, but at the same time, it is hard to work with friends/significant others/(ex)spouses. I hope they do find that they can continue to be real and honest with each other. Dishonesty was their downfall.

I don't believe that they are smooth sailing. There are still so many inside and outside factors that can reek havoc on these two. Plus, they are still learning to trust one another. Edward with his secrets, and Bella with her heart.

Marked, Ch. 2-9

I love the story you have created for these boys. It is full of curiosity and the excitement of a new affair. Yet, you have given them both serious emotional baggage when it comes to a committed relationship. They have both jumped to their own sets of conclusions, Edwards uncertainty over Jasper's intentions, and Jasper 'I always jump to conclusions' Whitlock.

There is serious trust issues here. Edward I think is ready to move past his and commit and give Jasper all of him. Jasper, on the other hand, is still re-enforcing his walls every time the mortar starts to crumble. I am hoping we see some trust from him soon, or I am afraid he is going to lose Edward.

My Life to Be, Ch. 8-14

What a delicious conundrum you have created here. Four people not satisfied in relationships, yet not willing to walk away either. Then you through in the nice pregnancy/hysterectomy twist with Rose.

These four are buried in rules and obligations. At least they are starting to confess feelings, and Bella and Emmett have parted ways. There are still uneasy times ahead. Confusing times.

Love Net, Ch. 34

It's a baby! ::giggle::

I have loved this story from page one, and am so happy to find these two...these FOUR finding happiness, and most of all love.

More power to her for having the baby at home. I liked my hospital and drugs. ;)

The Training, Ch. 6-13

I am really enjoying the pace in which this chapter of Bella and Edward's story is moving. We are watching them learn and grow in all the facets of their relationship. Edward is learning how to balance the Dom with the lover. Bella is learning what it means to be a Sub, truly, and also how to let go of that mindset during the week.

I think the scene of her sitting my Edward in Peter's playroom was one of the more erotic things you have written. The literally blind obedience and sexual tension was delicious.

Finally, watching their love grow and surround them. This wedding scene was lovely, and you could see how they have grown from his ease to her confidence. I am looking forward to what living together does to their dynamic.

The Tutor, all

If we are all lucky, we experience at least once, meeting someone who inexplicably changes the course and fabric of our lives forever. This was one of those moments. Bella was that person for Edward. She not only help him work towards something he needed to step into the life he didn't know that he could dream of, but opened him up to the love of the people around him. She helped him grow into someone who learned that help doesn't equal charity. That opportunity can be found if you allow others access to yourself.

This tale had lots of hurt, but also some laughs. Like when Edward walked in on Esme and Carlisle, and all Carlisle thought was, "teach him not to come barging in..." LOL!

There was so much growth in this story, not only for Edward and Bella, but the side characters too. Rosalie learned consequence. Alice learned strength. Jasper learned self-worth. This story and its inhabitants had a definable arc that I happily chased after start to finish.

The Trip Home, Ch. 6-39

Every once in a while, you come across a story that not only opens your heart, but opens a part of your mind that you never even realized was closed. Your story demonstrated that love need not be shackled by number. That it is possible to have a heart big enough to engulf and give equally to more than one partner.

I feared at first that it might just be a tale of sexual exploration, which I am all for, but was so overwhelmingly exuberant that this was, in fact, an all encompassing love story. You showed Bella, Jasper, and Edward as the beneficiaries of great love, but didn't gloss over issues such as jealousy or emptiness when a piece of the whole was missing. That being the one moving forward or left behind is often less painful than those who cannot enjoy the love that they got to keep, because they know one of them is missing.

I loved how time and time again, you tested them with a level of conformity, and time and time again one of them shirked the thought, because it would leave someone out in the cold. My favorite of these is when Edward and Jasper created their plan of Jasper being the single guy and Edward marrying Bella. I think I audibly said, "YES!" when she said "No." That moment defined them. That finally allowed them to hold the mirror up to their relationship and confirm that they were all equal partners in this life together.

Beautiful, sexy tale from start to finish, MsK.

xo,
Bethie

Daedalus In Exile, Ch. 7-16

I owe you like 7 chapters of reviews, so this is just going to be a diatribe of everything I have been feeling/experiencing.

I think for anyone glossing over this story, they would say it was a story of second chances and redemption, but I feel those phrases are too shallow for what you have created. This is about discovering a self that you never knew could exist. From the time he was 17, Edward has been forced into the mindset and ideals that Carlisle set forth for him upon his rebirth. Edward left and walked a long path of destruction seeing the truth in the warnings of the beautiful harbinger of death he could be. In his isolation, he has been working towards redemption or at least some self-forgiveness for his transgressions.

Now, having his believed root of his erred ways living and breathing in his sanctuary, he is forced to face himself, and realize that maybe some of the truths he has set down for himself might not be true. This girl that makes his venom flow just might not be the source of his ultimate act of murder, but may actually be the balm for his soul. The LIFE in his life. He is starting to realize that there are emotions out there stronger than hunger or obligation. There is a new taste that is saturating his brain whether he is ready to admit that. There is the glimmer of lust, and the slow impenetrable fog of love seeping into his veins.

I can see that a choice is going to be before him soon, if I am reading your signs correctly, and it won't be the one he thought he would have to make.

Poughkeepsie, The End

My dear Mrs.TheKing,

This tale has been an unbelievable journey for three lost souls who found kinship in common ground. They took a chance on each other. They took a chance on loving and caring for and allowing others to be essential to their existence. Those that truly gamble their hearts in love win in the end. Every time.

This story was bittersweet for me for personal reasons, because it was a lesson for me that people do listen to my ramblings. Hitting submit on that review all those months ago and your reaction to my critique has me sitting here crying all over again. To know that your thoughts caused someone you respect even the slightest pause, hurts my heart that can be found daily on my sleeve.

I do respect you extraordinarily, not just for your writing talent, but for your humor and kindness, and your sense of self that can only be admired. Looking forward to many more days filling with your fiction and friendship.

-Bethie

Rising, Ch. 2

This is such an interesting study of the flip side of love and relationships. We swim in it's strength and uplifting nature mostly in fic. The ideal. The reality is that it is also crippling. That when you give your heart over to someone else, as something as simple as telling you something you did was stupid can crush your spirit and bring you to tears.

This situation is by every means extreme, but would not surprise me if people were emotionally locked into this type of relationship everywhere. You know you are being emotionally abused and shackled in what you KNOW is an abusive relationship, but as in this case, you are afraid to leave, because you don't want the death of another on your conscious.

Depressingly real.