Mr. Horrible, Ch. 26-28

Chapter 26
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Your description of Edward's morning shenanigans through Bella's eyes was hi-larious!

Once again, you make me adore your story and your characters with their honesty. If it is all going to go to shit, let it be done on an honest wafer. Yet, they keep getting stronger. Love it.

Chapter 27
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It is hard to remember at times that this relationship is not even 2 months old. Sometimes I find myself wondering, "Why are they doubting the other, or why isn't the other doubting their intentions?" or "Why don't they know better?" Oh yeah, because they haven't gotten that far.

Once again, the cleverness of their banter leaves me in awe.

Chapter 28
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The fucking fish spits the engagement ring into her hand. That's perfect...for them. Birkin should be the one who proposes.

I loved how pissy Edward and Laurent were with Bella, when they thought she was selling out to the man's ideal of a perfect future Mrs. Edward Cullen the Not-Quite-Second.

Now that they are in-line for some permanence, it will be interesting to see if/how it affects their relationship.

Tropic of Virgo, ch 27

Word Association: twilight: orange

I'm about ready to punch these two in their poetry until it falls from their lips and not just their fingertips. I am sure you have a plan, and I don't want to know it, but I am getting a bruise on my forehead with these two.

This chapter was a heartfail of communication failure. I need to find some happy on my update list to counterbalance this. Not sure if I have any, though...

The writing remains great.

Tropic of Virgo, ch 26

Who I would be for a week: one of my children. So I could see how I am doing from their perspective. I just know I am paying for therapy someday.

I loathed the fact that Edward feels the need to conform when it comes to this relationship. Mr. Do-My-Own-Thing doesn't fit into rules. They are conventional, and that is what makes them great. They are at their best, when they relax and are themselves, which is intelligent and a little wild. You can see that contrast in this chapter. Hopefully they continue to define and create their relationship on their own terms.

Sleepers, Awake: Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme, Ch. 1-7

algonquinrt recommended this fic to me (and all of Twitterland). So far, you have all of my favorite elements: unrequited love, despair, and fantasy.

The best thing about your story though...is that that I have NO idea where this story is going or what is going to happen next. Too many stories in FFdom, I have pegged within the first few chapters. You can tell how the story will arc, and how it is going to end. With this one, I have NO idea, and it has me completely enthralled.

I love the dance between her real world, and this fantasy realm when she sleeps. I am equally interested in both lands she is living in. I would assume the wolves in her dreams are the ones that she draws, but like I said. I am not assuming anything with this story.

You are doing such a fantastic job! Completely original.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 10

I am so happy that Bella allowed herself to open up to Angela about everything that has been going on with Jasper. I would be terribly sad if she felt she had to hide things from her best friend. That should be a warning sign for her right there that things were bad. Hopefully, Angela will remain the supportive friend she is today through it all. I have a feeling Bella will need her eventually.

The love making scene wasn't long, but it was so powerful. I felt my own eyes tearing up. I completely imagine Jasper to be an intense lover. The type that would hold you close with his eyes bearing down into your soul.

Art After 5, ch 33

You are right that there is absolutely nothing to do where Bella went to college! Though, she would be close to Boyd & Werthmann's and their 26 kinds of pie! Snacks after smoking up!

This chapter was rather heart breaking. Edward is finally starting to understand Bella's concerns from before he left for school. He met her while living in a bubble of isolation. Now, he is surrounded by people he can relate to. People who match him intellectually, and are experiencing the same things as him for the first time. My chest is literally aching as I write this. I don't doubt his love for Bella, but they are at such different places. He hit the nail on the head that he is living to separate lives. Bella wants to be a part of his life, but has no interest in reliving college. It is one of those times you enjoy it, and move on. This relationship is going to be so difficult to maintain and keep both participants happy.

I might have to go cry now.

Art After 5, ch 32

Well, we have already discussed the hypothetical shared experience of skull cracking during loft shenanigans. That was so great. Nice to know that Edward is mind blowing enough that Bella forgot where she was!

I am happy that Bella is going to seek some counseling. She obviously has some intimacy issues, and wants to get herself well, so she can honestly commit to Edward in every way that he wants and they deserve.

Counterpoint, Ch. 2

"Be still, my rising cock." has got to be one of my new favorite FF lines.

So Edward has a plan, and he is already reading Bella like a book. No wonder he slid in there so smoothly. He had been planning for three months! He brought his A game.

Counterpoint, Ch. 1

Chapter 1

I am so excited you are doing this! I adore Youngward, and I can't wait to spend some time in his head...ummm, mind.

I love dancing in Edward's brain! You get to see how much he is just a teenage kid under the intelligence and cool facade. I can't believe he jerked one out in the art museum bathroom! That was awesome. Also, his calming conversations with his dick through the evening. It's nice to know he fantasized from before that first moment. He's less than perfect, after all.

Carlisle does such a fantastic job of balancing the jobs of wingman and father. He is encouraging in getting Edward to attempt hitting on a woman, and the "Bro's before Ho's" comment (snicker). Then, he also has the fatherly warning that he needed to wait to protect them both, and if it was meant to be, it will happen in it's right time.

Subject: Edward Cullen, AKA The Womanizer, Ch. 29

Best chapter ending! LOL! Oops!

Edward needs to get a rein in on his jealousy and possessiveness. Suddenly everything he loved about Bella, he is trying to quash for his own selfish reasons. He knows she is a very active, busy woman. He knows she has a lot on her plate, and she knows very well how to manage her life. I am worried he is going to make a huge cluster-fuck of things soon. He needs some strong slap of a wake-up call to his attitude. I am worried that he is going to ruin this once great thing. This relationship of theirs still feel so damaged.

Bella is dealing with Edward's life much better than he is dealing with hers. She had to deal with a lot of his past at that holiday party, and she did so with style and grace.

The Fallout, Ch. 12

Your environmental descriptions in this story are so rich. I can feel the cold dampness of the bunker. I can almost hear the sound that voice make when they echo off of concrete. My nose stings with the smell of livestock stalls. It puts you in the bleak and borderline hopeless state of things. It's sterility matches Esme's despair.

Then, you shift, and I see the colorful rows of houses of the Forks settlement. A place, despite what has happened, has chosen life. A land of optimism tucked in the world of devastation. I can see the gardens, flowers, and houses. The children represent the hope for the future in this upside-down world. I couldn't help but smile along with Edward and Carlisle. I loved how Carlisle's thoughts drifted to Rose when he saw the children, and I wished she was there as well. I am sure there will be many future visits.

For the first time in this story, I feel hope.

Brotherly Devotion, Ch. 4

These two are starting to get a little careless with the PDA. The touching at the art museum, the making out in the garage, and the straight out fucking at the movies! If they are wanting to pursue this relationship, it is time for Bella to come clean to Emmett. Not necessarily about the affair, but her unhappiness. She needs to sit him down and talk to him face to face.

The movie theater sex was hot, though.

Holding Out For You, ch 48

The first part of this chapter had me stoic. Unlike Edward, I went the opposite route when it came to dealing with death. I practically lived at the cemetery for the early part of my teenage years communing. I completely empathized with sitting there talking to headstones. The part where Liz started speaking to Tanya brought on the water works.

I loved the end of this chapter. For Liz to announce that they wanted Bella for their mom was a very significant gesture, especially given where they just came from. I am happy that Edward gave Bella the knowledge of his intentions without blowing his actual proposal.

I love this story!

Resident Geek, Ch 14

I use the Sandlot quote all the time! In fact, I used it in a review just this morning! hehehe.

I am glad Bella explained her history to Edward. It is her baggage that will affect him and their relationship. He is such a sweet and patient man. The progression of their relationship feels so natural and un-rushed. It is one of the things that I love about this story. They are getting to know each other on superficial levels (likes, dislikes, hobbies), and now they are taking that next step of getting to know each other on a deeper emotional, personal level. When they are ready, the rest will be amazing, and they, especially Bella, will know it is true.

Spy Games, ch 9

The conversation in the car got our Bella back on track. In the beginning of the story, you presented her as a Type A, in control woman, and it was one of the main reasons I LOVED this story. I am glad her backbone is solidifying again.

I'm all in! Oh wait...I'm not playing. I loved the idea of the poker game. It is such a great metaphor of the risk they are both taking with this relationship and yet they both gamble by choice.

You know the scene in the bedroom was hotter than hot. Love it when the toys come out to play, even though she didn't get to play with her favorite toy. ::wink::

Over The Top, ch 23

What a masterful writing of a panic attack! I found myself hyperventilating and my chest felt constricted just reading it! Poor Jasper. Such a blindsiding. When I first read him being so aloof and abrasive, I found it so shockingly out of character for him so far, but he deserves a little anger.

The Alice and Edward scene happened much quicker than I anticipated. It is hard to be angry with the ones we love. I am so happy they are reconnecting. Edward is really altered from the man we met in chapter 1. Even in the time since he emotionally threw Jasper from his house.

There is some irony in the fact that as Edward softens, Jasper is becoming a little more abrasive. Which just writing that causing a slight pang in my heart. I don't want Jasper to be a dickhead. ::sniff::

The Sacrificial Lamb, ch 11

I love how, despite all the strain and stress they are under, there are some primal instincts that you just can't ignore. You had me fooled with Edward's fantasy. I was totally shocked when she sucked his thumb into her mouth, and then when it was revealed it was his fantasy, I laughed out loud at myself.

Edward and his plans. He should realize by now that they are operating off the grid, and all his plans are out the window when it comes to Bella.

A House of Cards, ch 9

The age of Bella begins. It was interesting to see how he managed taking her virginity. I was curious how he would handle that within the confines of their relationship. I love how you played it out. Should have known it would be the mats. It is where all the loving moments are played out in the playroom.

Bella really added a new depth to Edward's relationship with his sub. I wonder now, if it weren't for his experience with Bella, would he have had the same type of relationship with Jasper? Is it Bella and Jasper who altered his interaction with them, or is it his personal experiences to date that caused their relationships to unfold as they did?

A House of Cards, ch 8

Have I ever told you how much I love back stories? It's the historian in me. I want to know everything about everyone's histories. It is fascinating to me the life events that culminate us into the people we are today. This is one of the reasons I am loving this story so intensely. I am glued to the screen as Edward unfolds his path in the form of the journal.

I am loving the split of the chapters between his journal writing and what is going on in reality.

Once again, Jasper is so loving and protective of Edward. The kissing of the scars had me undone.

Confessions of a Nanny, Ch. 6

Doctor Sexy Tattoo is not such an innocent boy after all. As I guessed, he is just binding himself to the terms of their professional relationship. This is why he is remaining distant. Him watching her in the throws of her fantasy, and hearing it was in fact him that was bringing her this pleasure in her mind can leave no doubt where she stands. Now it is up to him if he is going to stick to the covenant of their professional agreement. It's only chapter 6, so I am guessing he is going to string our libido along for a while.

Also, we all need girlfriends to push us to do the things we want to do, but are afraid. They see so much more of ourselves than we tend to see.

Coming to Terms, Ch 22

::headdesk:: You're killing me, Smalls. You're just killing me!

It will be fine. Edward has grown. They have grown as a pseudo-couple. He is not going to freak out over the gold digger-esque comment, even though Bella is. This sucks, you know this, right. You have spent 21 chapters building us up to fear the worst in situations like this, and you leave us hanging. Cruel, cruel, mistress, you are.

I did love how everyone cared for Bella during the shower. Edward and the family couldn't be more doting. Renee and Phil were a great surprise, and I loved the heart-to-heart with Tanya. I hope that Rose and Emmett are able to find their way to adoption or pregnancy, too. I have a bit of a soft spot for Rose.

The Mirrors, Ch 19

I love grandpa Jack! Not only because he is a straight shooter type of guy, but because of his love for Bella. Here he is sitting with the grandson of his true love, and he has to be imagining that it could have been his. Instead, he finds that the young man is coming into his life as a grandson-in-law someday. He sees the families being united, as they always should have been. I am happy that Edward was so forthwith his feelings with Jack.

Once again, I find myself thinking that Bella and Edward are handling this reunion so very well, emotionally. To have someone back from the dead in a way. I would be a sobbing, clinging mess 24/7. I also would be all over the other person. I'm impressed they made it all they way back to SanFran. I would have found a secluded side of the road spot.

Now the question remains about The Mirror world. I am assuming the woman we have seen all along is the Princess. I thought it was gran at first, but after the tale, I think it is the Princess watching over her charges. I think Shra was afraid of Edward, because he has the Princess blood in his line, but it will be interesting to see why it always goes after Bella.

The Mirrors, Ch 18

The story/myth/legend of the families has me in complete and utter awe. Not only is it an amazing addition to this story, but I am in a state of amazement at your creativity in the writing. Your clever twists of fate. The weaving of Bella and Edward's histories. There are no words. Such very smart writing.

If that is not enough, you add in the heart to heart between Bella and Carlisle on the porch. I can't imagine the agony that he has suffered through the years. First, to think that your child has lost their mind. Then to see them feign wellness, when you know it is a lie. Finally, to realize that this was all truth in the end. That would be completely overwhelming.

Once again, we bow at the feet of the master.

The Dominant, ch 27

"Hell Bella, if you want it..." ::gasp:: HELL YEAH, SHE WANTS IT! BRING IT HOME, DADDY! Sorry...I'm OK now. You know the kitchen scene is some of the hottest stuff in fandom. I blush when anyone mentions risotto or if it is on the menu at a restaurant I am at.

The library scene was beautiful, and as I suspected when I read TS, that he gave it to her, because of his emotional attachment to the room. It amazes me that he is still so apprehensive about this relationship working outside and within the confines of their D/s arrangement. So afraid to take a chance.

The Dominant, ch 26

I loved this chapter, because it revealed so much more of their conversation. My favorite part about this chapter was how he seemed more like just a man who was hiding his love than ever before. He was eager, yet restrained. The whole bit about her being his missing percent was so great.

Also, you don't mention what song she is dancing to in this side of the tale, but you have made Sandy Thom a household name around here, and I can't thank-you enough for that!

At The Deep End, Ch 17

The love affair between these boys is unfolding in such a beautiful fashion on the page. There is nothing but tenderness and honesty. Their first time together was everything it should have been. Confessions of love. Slow gentle care of Jasper. Jasper wanting the connection above all else. This is a thesis on how to write the coming together of two lovers. You wrapped us all in the cocoon of their love and allowed us to share this moment with your characters.

Beautifully, beautifully written.

Poughkeepsie, ch 46

I loved Jasper's back story. Well, I didn't love that he was such a broken child. Especially such a gentle soul as Jasper. It makes me ill the things people do to their children. So many innocent lives aged and destroyed by cruelty and negligence.

I am happy these two broken people have found each other. Where they remain whole fills the voids that the other contains like matching puzzle pieces. Hopefully, they can both find a healthy life together. They deserve it.

Guns and Roses, Ch. 32

I like this interesting turn of events. This time we see Edward standing at the station watching Bella leave. I felt like I needed to bust out "The Scientist" again. It does make me nervous that Charlie is ill. I hope Edward is able to ask for Bella's hand before anything tragic happens. It means so much to Bella for Edward to do so. I think if they weren't able to procure Charlie's blessing, it would taint things for Bella.

I am glad that Edward and Ben stuck around to help clean up progress in Corbie. I am nervous about Edward heading back out to the line. Also, I am always worried about what is going on with Jasper. I fear that you are going to kill that lad.

Volterra Rocks!, ch 17

Edward truly is the caged bird in this story. I am happy that Bella can see past her own past infatuation to embrace the sheltered man that is before her. She finally realized that it was not her that was holding back their intimacy, but his inexperience and insecurity in that lack of experience.

It is funny how it is empowering to be the one with the experience. I am glad that Bella found courage in her past in order to give Edward his first steps into sexuality.

Finally, the confession of love. Edward's timing was poor, but there was no doubt that he was disarmed by the moment, and the feelings he has been harboring for months poured forth.

Readjusted, Ch 25

I was thinking as a read this chapter what a transformation Edward has gone through. When we started this adventure, he was so self-assured and cocky. He had carved out his little bachelor niche in the world, and was sure and confident in it. Now that he is with Bella, and there is a child in the picture, he is totally out of his element. He is unsure, yet is seeking advice instead of running at the sign of trouble. He is needing someone. His world has been rocked by love.

Glad they got to ::cough:: apologize ::cough:: properly. Hopefully, all over the office. Dry spells can be as damaging to a relationship as anything else.

Readjusted, ch 24

I think Bella over-reacted, in my opinion. She admitted Matt is a wanderer ( which if your kid has that tendency, you should totally warn any caretaker), and he was found right away and is safe. Another thing, Irina. Edward is a popular man in the city, and not just with the ladies. He has proven to be nothing but devoted to her for months (even if not always having honorable intentions). This is a culmination of her own experience and insecurities.

I am happy, after the brief missing child act, Edward had a good time with Matt at the game.

Art After 5, ch 31

Edward crying in the bathroom was one of the most heart breaking moments in recent FF history. Edward has led such an idealized life. In his world, marriages last forever, children are born of love and are cherished, and happily ever after isn't just a dream. Bella's whole life has been a parade of temporary. Temporary emotions. Fleeting relationships. Broken homes.

I don't think Edward grasps the magnitude of Bella desiring and promising forever. Maybe, he should be a little frightened by it, because she has no experience with what that means. In this case, he is the experienced one.

Art After 5, ch 30

Ahh...if only my husband was half his current age again. Something to be said for quick turn around time. It was nice to see Edward a bit feral and kinky. Young man is upping his game! Also, I could read him stripping from that tux all day.

Art After 5, ch 29

No better way to force confessions, apologies, and anything else on your friends like locking certain in a confined space for a while. I am glad all the air is clear for now. That was such a grand and sincere gesture for Alice and Jasper to ask Edward to become part of their wedding party. Now we shall see how life settles out with the group united.

Art After 5, ch 28

Bella's collapse/stumble/struck dumbness at the sight of Edward was awesome. I assumed as soon as the organist couldn't make it, I assumed it would be Edward replacing her, so I wasn't surprised that he was there. It WAS a nice surprise to see that of was actually Esme playing.

My favorite part of this chapter, though was the shift in Alice and Bella's state. From Bella just being there in body at the beginning during prep time, refusing to hear her friend out to giving her friend her day back by 1) rescuing her from jerk dad's speech and 2) taking the veil off. ::tear::

Art After 5, ch 27

This is where Edward's inexperience is failing him. He doesn't know how to make friends or interact with the opposite sex in a friendly type manner. He has never been rejected, nor has he ever rejected anyone else. He has been protected by the comfort and companionship of his parents. This year at Princeton is going to be a hard lesson in humanity for Edward.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 9

Not surprising Jasper is a fellow Pisces. I am afraid this man is making promises he can't keep. I am also afraid, as much they really are great together, and might have a great, lasting relationship under normal circumstances, they are setting up the makings of an almost co-dependency relationship. He needs her to stay sober, and she won't leave because she knows he'll use again.

The two of them talked about a lot of things, but they haven't had the important conversations yet.

The holidays will be interesting!

Tropic of Virgo, ch 25

Once again, a lack of communication threatens to be their undoing. Not only Bella and Edward's, but Alice an Bella too. In the end, we find that Charlie's secrets may have contributed to her crippling fear. I think I would be withdrawn for a day or two as well, if I was Bella. She has information now that may cause a shift in the foundation of what she thinks she is capable of. This is a lot to deal with. Hopefully, Edward is patient while she comes to terms.

I am looking forward to the lead up to the festival. I am sure there will be a lot of drama with Bella singing with James!

Tropic of Virgo, ch 24

These two can be such a clusterfuck of communication failure. If they would quit being coy, and talk straight, they might save each other some heartache and confusion. It's ironic that they communicate more clearly in their lyrical, obscure verse online than in person.

I am happy found her way through the performance. Baby steps.

A House of Cards, ch 6

Bella and Jasper both know Edward so well. They knew he needed a gradual reintroduction to play. So, they invited him to watch, and Jasper helped him participate in his own small way in the end. He really is wrapped in their love.

A House of Cards, ch 7

It does my heart good to see that Edward fell into the hands, just in time, of what I assume will be a gentle, patient guide into the world of BDSM. My assumption is based on the fact that he is still in contact with him. I love a great serendipitous moment.

I still shake my head of Edward's parents overall treatment of Edward, but I am glad that his dad gave him the tools he needed for independence, and the support he needed in the name change for his release from the shackles of the outside world forever tying him to being the victim.

I felt empathy for both Edward and Jessica. She saw the negative effects of accidentally speaking the words of his captor, but then also was unprepared for the aggression he released once he gain the position of power. I felt so bad for Edward in that moment, and am glad he has found a guide into a world where is aggression is welcomed and honed in a controlled environment.

Behind Enemy Lines, ch 29

Holy fucking foyer, Batman!

Bells is a stronger woman than I. If Balticward in all his self-sacrificing career Eastern European man glory went all caveman on me like that, I would promise to take his name, his perfect son producing sperm, and start tying on my Donna Reed apron and house slippers!

That was hotter than NY during a heatwave!

Hydraulic Level 5, ch 16

I hope the end of this chapter is ushering in a new age of honesty for Bella and Edward. I agree with Edward that baby steps are needed. How do you relearn someone who you knew like the back of your hand after a seven year absence? How do you get past all the hurt, betrayal, and pain to forge trust? A difficult task is ahead, but seeing that they are both still in love with each other, and let's face it, they are, will help and hinder along the road to redemption.

Spy Games, ch 8

I understand Bella is confused by her situation with Edward, but the chapter seemed a little desperate and adolescent for her personality. One of the things I love(d?) about this story was a large and in charge Bella. She seems to have disappeared a bit in light of her uncertainty. I don't mind her being a mess at home, but I have come to think that Bella brings nothing but her A game to work.

NOTE: I received a sincere review reply from the author on this one thanking me for my honesty and constructive review. She has gotten Bella back on track with Chapter 9.

Spy Games, ch 7

How quickly ones well laid plans go to pot when you are not paying attention. Hot hook-ups turn into a day worth of cuddling on the couch sharing your life stories before you know it. The funniest part is that they both want it to be a real relationship, but their positions are holding them back. This is going to bust soon when jealousy rears it's head. I am wondering if Edward might be attending the same event.

Now for the details, Bella laid the corporate credit card on her counter. You never mention her picking it up, and I am worried Edward did.

The Sacrificial Lamb, ch 10

Exciting chapter! I love that bells took charge of her own destiny when she thought Edward wasn't coming back. I am also girly enough to swoon at the rescuing knight moment when we realize Edward is there. I loved how even in the heated situation, they still effortlessly communicated. That sense of two pieces that were made for each other.

Finally, he gave her a choice . He wanted her to chose him. He gave her the option of trust. So great.

The Dominant, ch 25

Bella's sex induced haze definitely left out some details in TS!!

What I find most interesting is how Edward perceives Bella. The looks and gestures she makes that she is not even aware of, and the effect they have on Edward.

He is also so conflicted now with the reveal hanging over his head. He worries now about chastisement. He worries about working her to hard and pushing her away. He worries of not giving her enough, and why they have built won't be enough to make her want to stay.

So many clouds hanging over what should be a pleasurable weekend. Fascinating chapter.

The Dominant, ch 24

I loved Edward waiting a few rows up from their seats, so he was sure to see Bella before she saw him. He needed that bit of control back after the way his day had been going. First, Bella taking a bit of control by wearing the panties. Next, he had to battle Tanya's parents and Jasper at brunch. By being the one to spot her, he was gaining back the upper hand he needed to pull off the halftime orchestration.

Poughkeepsie, ch 45

Did you get meat curtains from my Twitter ramblings? That's one of my favorite euphemisms. Though, I think dick mitten may be a close second now! The pre-walk through nightmare lane Alice had me choking on my laughter. So, so funny!

Edward's small gestures of protection cease to amaze me. His slight warning to not be indebted to his brother was his own small way of protecting her from Emmett's world. It was also great to see him crack up laughing at Alice. Part of me always sees him as a little boy lost, so it catches me off guard when he laughs at dirty sayings, even when they have sex. My brain screams out, and I have to remind myself he is a grown man.

Funny chapter. Can't wait to see Jasper and Little Girl Lost's next day!

Readjusted, ch 23

I cannot believe the total douche Mike is. I have a feeling Lauren's parents being in town may be part of some plans that Mike is not telling Bella about. He was making vague inclinations of meeting them 'being important'. I think Bella was too distracted by her anger to notice she wasn't getting the full truth of the matter.

It was a grand gesture of Edward to offer to take Matt to the game. I am sure he will be fine. Kids Matt's age are pretty self-reliant. I just hope you write in one trip to the bathroom, because I see it being Edward's only awkward moment.

I am happy Bella is planning on rewarding Edward fully. The boy has earned it several times over!

Holding Out For You, ch 47

I can't even imagine what it would be like to watch one of the people you love most in this world die. I can't even imagine the compounded survivors guilt attached when you feel you had the skill set to save that person, and you fail. The story of that night was equally bursting with love an adoration (I love how you showed how in love with each other Edward and Tanya were. I think readers need to see that.) and then completely tragic. To watch that young mother/wife's life fade to darkness in front of us while she tried to say good-bye to a desperate and frantic husband. Shockingly haunting.

I am glad Bella knows the story now, and can better under his moments of silent contemplation and how much she must mean to him to be able to confess his love to another again.

Lovely, care-written chapter.

Out of Her Head, ch 37

Now the boys have their answers from Jack. I am left with the questions of if he is acting out through the pain of his loss? Is the story he is giving the side his wife gave or one that he has pieced together to have someone to blame? I would hate to think Zaphrina would be so malicious if the parting of ways was as amicable as Emmett describes.

I am happy that Alice and Jasper had their discussion, and are contented with their decision. Also, so happy everyone seems to be there to support Bella (and Edward) through this strange time. I am not sure how they are going to get around Bella's breech of contract. I think if they reinstate her after all of Emmett's speech making in the staff meetings, it will just come off as favoritism. I am starting to also think that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea for E/B to start their life together away from Cullen Academy.

The Office, ch 14

What a whirlwind of emotion you dishes out to us this chapter! You had us swimming in Bella's doubt, and then euphoric in their emotional awakening.

Then you shift gears to show us a weakened Edward, and a mothering Bella. I loved this scene, because during his healing and her care, we see the relationship they should have had from the start. They make such great friends outside of the drama and cloud of physical love.

Finally, my heart flew with his declaration he made while stopping her attempt at 'one last time'. But just as I soar, I am shot down when he let's her hand drop. I understand their hesitancy on making their affair known. They haven't even had a chance to define it. I hope when they return, they can start building some of the normalcy of a committed relationship.

Fantastic chapter!

Over The Top, ch 22

I'm so proud of Jasper for allowing himself to be out there again. His world is so wrapped on love and acceptance, that he will be one to strive for a healthy emotional life despite his pain. I love the strong yet genteel man you have created in him. I am also happy he made a friend. I think he needs that. He needs that support network in Seattle. Maybe this break-up is a positive thing, otherwise he might have allowed himself to wrap himself entirely in the relationship. That wouldn't have been healthy.

Edward has some serious ground to make up, but I think he needs to start by making himself healthy. I think he should contact Jasper and let him know what is going on with him, and ask if they can slowly ease back into things. Build a friendship, go on some dates, and make the gradual climb back to lovers.

I course I await what YOU are going to do! I do fear some trouble with the clubbing.

Volterra Rocks!, ch 16

What would Emmett do I'd he didn't have Jasper and Edward to torture for money or fun. Though at the end of the day, he does it to motivate them towards their happiness.

I loved Alice in this one. She didn't go batshit crazy, but took the control away from Maria in her own way. She out smarted her and displayed for Jasper that she is clearly the better woman.

I love that you are continuing to keep Edward and Bella's relationship at a gradual pace. It is very suiting of the characters you have developed.

Great chapter!

Poughkeepsie, ch 44

Emmett handing himself to Rosalie to kill him was a sobering moment. He has always lived with no regrets, because it committed horrendous to protect the innocent in his mind. I think since yesterday at the club, he was ready to start atoning for his sins in jail. When he realizes that Rosalie is there to see that he paid the ultimate price, he was ready to give in.

I think the end of the chapter was a release of guilt, anger, and the person behind the persona.

The Sacrificial Lamb, ch 9

The kiss was unexpected, and brief yet amazing. It held the promise of either things to come or dreams of what will never be. Only you know the answer to that. Remember...I don't want to know!! No teasers/spoilers for me!

Hopefully, Jasper can get the rest of Edward's family away safely, especially Alice and the baby.

I shall sit and ponder the possibilities until you make me squeal at the sight of your next update!

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 8

It is hard to not define others by the roles and relationships we know them from. It's often times hard not to define OURSELVES by our roles and relationships. I think that Jasper and Bella have developed a new definition outside of the Cullens. No doubt the past has hindered the progression of this relationship. I have no doubt that Jasper's drug use has been fueled by the doubt, fear, desire, and overall anxiety of wanting to pursue Bella as more than a friend.

I would be lying if I said the re-emergence of Jasper's drug use didn't scare the shit out of me. He's already admitted that it has affected their relationship. He has alreay blown off Bella three times in order to do drugs. Bella is being an enabler at the moment. She remembered that Jasper used sex as a substitute for a high, and allowed him to do so with her. She also is trying to save him, but only he can save himself from this addiction. He has to do it for himself.

Anything But Conventional, ch 23

One thing I have a difficult doing in stories that deal with a younger Bella and Edward is to try to stop myself from projecting my own life experiences on the story. Part of me agrees with the parents that they are young and sheltered. They are limited in exposure and experience beyond their little town. Then the other part says that you can never decide the truth of love for someone else. We both know people who married young and are still happily so. I am sorry that they have to suffer the gossip and ridicule.

Poughkeepsie, Ch. 43

::deep breath:: Wow.

I have read Rosalie's tale written 100 different ways, but I think you just painted the most devastating picture yet. You gave us her joy and softness, which made the hardening of her soul that much greater of a loss. Your characters are such a fascinating psychological study of innocence lost. Once again, we are all happily left in the wake of your superior writing.

Art Model, Ch. 1

I love the arc that you took Bella on in this story (chapter 1 of a story, or one-shot?). You take her from a terrified girl to a confident woman. She takes a chance, and you never know what wonderful things will come you way when you put yourself out there.

I think this would be interesting as a full story, but it is also completely enjoyable as a one-shot! Wonderful job!

Bonne Foi, Ch. 15

I am enjoying Edward's exploration of his existence and philosophies on life. One thing I have loved from day one about this Edward is his methodology and his serious pursuits on analyzing the questions that present themselves. Bella has made him question so much, and I love that he has delved in and sought answers through study and experience.

Bella's role reversal pull on Edward was a nice shift. I liked seeing her dominant and aggressive side. Deprivation will do that to the best of us. I am also starting to wonder if Edward's spunk contains Diphenhydramine, Bella always seems to knock right out after sex.

Holding Out For You, Ch 46

Their last day at the hotel was beautifully crafted. There was the perfect blend of passion, activity, talking, and just easing into their future together. I loved the scene in the bathtub when they are talking about children, and his whisper about how he can already picture her pregnant with his child. ::sigh:: The gift was perfect, and Edward was so thoughtful to include all of the children in on it.

As we already discussed, I guessed when he white knuckled on the way to the wedding, that they were passing the spot where the accident occurred, and there might be some issue when they passed it again. I never imagined it would be to the extent that you wrote it, which was a heart wrenching surprise. It is not surprising though that he would be overwhelmed in passing that spot. Since they did on the way to the wedding, Edward has declared his love for Bella & talked about making a new life/family with her. I am sure the guilt of "moving on" mixed with the guilt that he still feels for the accident, overwhelmed him in that moment. I think he realized in that moment that he really was saying good-bye to Tanya. That feeling would cripple anyone.

Pieces of Time, Ch. 40

It is great seeing Bella start to get excited about the babies. It is hard not to go crazy in a baby store. God knows, whenever I am out, I end up buying something for one of my kids.

I am happy that she finally told Edward what she has been feeling about having more kids. I think he will surprise her with his reaction. Either that or you will surprise me!

The Submissive Chapter 37 Outtake

We all know that your lemons were sent down by the angels to be whispered in your ears by foul mouth cherubs, but it was really the other aspects of the chapter that I found fascinating (I'm ignoring all TD knowledge for this review).

Our Dom having an insecure moment about breakfast. He is usually so in charge and sure of himself.

Bella confused by Edward's playful teasing, since we have not known him to be coy in the past.

Then you whisper sweet poetry and round that into his sweet dirty mouth. Cigarette, anyone?

Out of Her Head, Ch. 36

The scene between Bella and Jasper at the hospital was heart wrenching. I would be upset with Jasper for putting Bella in such a spot by asking her to talk to Alice, but all I saw was a desperate man. One who is so afraid of losing the love of his life, because of her need to have a child (which probably stems from her own issues with the parents). Hopefully, Jasper will talk to her, and she will put her own health first, and they can find other ways to extend their family.

It was great that Edward, Charlie, AND Emmett ended up stalking outside Jack's apartment. Stalker/Protectors. I am sorry that Edward had to bargain the interview in order to get the Jack info, now that we know Emmett had it the whole time. I am hoping the interview will yield positive results, and Edward can finally put that part of his life to bed.

Confessions of a Nanny, Ch. 5

Dear brain police,

Melissa228 has raided the fantasy center of my brain, and is now using my personal information to write a hot piece of fan fiction starring my perfect fantasy man. I don't mind her borrowing him, but ask her to please return him in the state in which she borrowed him.

Sincerely,
EJ

P.S. I love how you danced between sexuality and sincerity in this chapter. From the awkward moments of mutual attraction to the sharing of their experiences with divorce and single-parenthood, I have a feeling Bella's plan is not as simple as she thinks it will be. Emotions are going to complicate things, especially as she becomes closer to Delilah.

Passion and Disaster, Ch 19

How fascinating to find out that Edward had been scoping Jasper for over a year. That he confesses his attraction to Alice, but not only the physical, but the metaphysical attraction that Edward is not the only victim of. The irony of it all is that Edward doesn't realize that he possesses the same quality. That people gravitate to him, and he is so locked into his own existence, that he doesn't notice it.

I am happy that Alice and Edward are discovering some self-truth through this impromptu therapy session, but I feel they are working through some issues that have a missing participant, Jasper. I don't know if they need to talk to him individually, together, or both. I am interested to see what you decide!

The Sacrificial Lamb, Ch 8

No teaser's please! I shun the spoil.

It was interesting to hear how Edward became involved with the family. That it wasn't only for the sake of hope of revenge. It was to keep Alice safe. I am sad that his life has been forced upon him because of his family and what his father chose to do with his life.

This whole chapter was an implosion of all his years of hard work and deception. He wasn't in control. He didn't play it cool. It wasn't calculated. It was emotional, out-of-control, and now he and Bella have to deal with the aftermath...and whether he realizes it yet, Alice is now in danger too.

Hiding In Plain Sight, Ch. 17

As much as I want them to fall in love, or admit they are in love with each other, I can feel the foreboding hanging in the air. Even if Bella survives the trial, what then? She is still in witness protection. I can't imagine them letting her stay where she is. I can't help but think she has to go in the end. Edward says that he could disappear too, but can he really?

For now, I am happy that Bella has Edward. That Bella has helped Edward grow and soften as a man. Complicated times are ahead!

Mr. Horrible, Ch. 25

It is always interesting to see how the ones we love visualize us in their mind's eye. Or more interesting, the potential they see in us. Your description of him stalking towards Bella had me reading wide-eyed. I don't know how she kept her coherency about her, or managed standing erect more or less backing up. I can guess where your inspiration came from, so I had plenty of visuals in my mind to fuel the scene.

It is funny how people feel there are certain "rules" when it comes to sex with ones they love compared to the casual fling. Every girl needs a little hot and quick now and then.

A House of Cards, Ch. 5

"Edward Cullen isn’t a real person; he is a fictional character that I made up with to deal with the nightmare that was my life."

That made my heart hurt.

Edward is holding up a serious mirror in front of himself these days. The thought of him as the pedophile was a subconscious confusion of his own experience and his present lifestyle, but it had its underlying truth as well. He has been a careful Dom with everyone but the one he possibly loves the most.

He has had opportunity to experience real love with Bella and Jasper, but is still too crippled by his emotional repression. Hopefully he can work through some things on his own, and maybe with a professional to find some piece.

I was shocked to discover the red head was Mrs. Masen. I don't surprise easily, so I love you for that! I am glad he is doing brunch. Part of his healing past is making peace with his parents. My heart really went out to him, as he found the comfort of his mother's arms once again.

Readjusted, Ch 22

I am so glad you didn't let this part of the story drag through the angst-mire for an eternity. I think these two are in a much healthier place in their lives to let this stew. They sorted their problems, and are now striding to move forward.

Edward's gesture of an outing is very thoughtful and sweet. I just hope he doesn't fall into a pattern of trying too hard with Matt. He will have to learn in time the balance of having a small child around. I am looking forward to see him adjust, and subsequently, seeing how he and Bella adjust as well.

The Arrangement, Ch 20

I have to admit I started freaking out as soon as I realized she was going to miss the concert. The concert he has been preparing for months as the public display of his utter love and devotion to Bella, and she doesn't fucking show! I was sure it was going to be the end. The straw that broke the Edward's emotional back. I was seriously reading yelling, "No, NO, NOOO!!!"

Then, Edward comes home all wonderful, understanding, and concerned, and what does Bella do, prattles on about Jasper and love and confusion. Once again, I awaited the proverbial ball kick.

But, what did you do, you gave me understanding and confessions of love. Blew me out of the water, and it is hard to surprise me, and I LOVE surprises! Thanks, bb.

Guarding Edward, Ch. 34

I loved how you let the last day of Edward's human life be about capturing his human life and memories for posterity. Bella's gift of the journal, computer, and finally the idea of video taping him was beautiful. I loved that you had her semi-interviewing him, but as a snuggled up conversation.

Most of all, I loved how you had him step boldly into his change. It wasn't panicked or rushed. Simply, "It's time..." Lovely. The moment with Carlisle before they went into the room almost had me teary. Then to transition from a dance to passion to bite was smooth and natural. Very nicely done.

The love and care that all the Cullens and Bella provide Edward during his change filled me with love. Then to see Edward emerge with his new found ability made me all giddy.

This story keeps getting better and better.

The Forbidden Room, Ch. 47

Is it strange that the first thing you have done that has felt strange to me is this canon pairing? Shows how much your story is embedded in my brain that Alice feels out of place in the playroom. I know she has a history, and she is growing on me in HoC, but here...it feels out of place.

Not to say, I didn't enjoy the chapter. Dom Jasper rules my dirty world.

How's it feel to be done?

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, Ch. 6

First of all, my brain is all stupid now just at the thought of Jasper on a bike. Put ANY halfway decent man on a bike and my brain goes stupid, but put Jasper on one. Holy hell.

I was thinking that cowboy deserved at least a peck on the cheek or something after what he orchestrated for Bella tonight! I guess a hug works for now, because I am enjoying the languid pace of their relationship. I love that they are becoming friends first, and you are orchestrating such a lovely and open friendship.

I am wondering what all Jasper will disclose to the Cullens about seeing Bella, if anything. NOTE: I hate teasers/spoilers, so I don't really want to know...just talking out loud. Looking forward to what tomorrow brings.

Creature of Habit, Ch. 24

Can't have too much of a good thing, now can we. I loved them at the gala together. Their easiness together, and everyone forcing the realization on Bella of how happy and altered she has made Edward. One likes to think they see changes for the better in those we love due to our mere presence in their lives, but it is nice to have someone on the outside validate those feelings.

Alas, something had to go wrong. Alice being that thing was not expected, and I love being surprised! It doesn't surprise me that they would choose to strike there. Strategically, very wise. Some shit is about to go down, and I can't wait to see how you play it out!

Tropic of Virgo, Ch 23

Weather was sunny and 83 today. A few raindrops this afternoon, but dissipated quickly.

Poor Edward, trying to be a true suitor for once, and Bella just thwarting him with physical loving instead. I think that she is oblivious to what he is trying to do, because I don't think he is even positive yet what end result he is aiming for. Still to insecure in the emotions.

I am happy, however, that Bella was able to conquer her own fears and get up and sing. That was a big moment for her.

“Why the fuck won’t you let me take you out for ice cream?” makes me laugh every time I read it.

Passion and Disaster, Ch. 18

I am so proud of Edward from not running from this situation with Alice, braving the aftermath, and then actually talking out his feelings with her. These two need to walk away from this meeting with the air clear. It turns out that they are both dealing each other a dose of therapy at the same time. Especially, Edward getting a hug from Alice. I think physical contact is something we all need. There is something completely healing about a hug.

I am looking forward to a continuation of Alice and Edward's conversation, but also to Edward's reunion with Jasper after his realizations. I hope they continue the honesty and openness from the cabin. To work through this drama and get back to falling in love with one another.

Cocktails & Dreams, Ch. 18

I am so happy that Edward, with Emmett and Bella's nudge, is going to start healing his relationship with his mother. I know it is hard for him to forgive his father, and by proxy his mother for the fallout with Bella, but his anger with them is only going to hurt himself.

It was great to see these two wrapped up in their love and lust for each other. It did the heart good.

I am also glad for the realism of the shower scene. It is not an easy maneuver, especially when you are so much shorter than your partner! Bravo for bringing that shit to light!

Poughkeepsie, Ch 38-39

I see you have discovered the Emmett love affair that I have with my current story. Even if you intend for him to be a minor supporting role, he always finds his way to play a more prominent role. Once again, your "big brother" is protecting all under his watch. Not only is he prepared to strike for his brother, but the woman he loves, and the people she loves as well. His protection of Alice was fantastic.

Little girl lost, on the other hand, is once again a smorgasbord of self-destruction. I am completely empathetic as a girl with my own mommy issues, so it is equally as sad to see her reach to find love and intimacy. Jasper silently riding in to her rescue was perfect.

Art After 5, Ch. 26

Once again, I love the intricate dance you do between mature-at-17 Edward, and truly 17 Edward. Edward in all his 17 year old insecurity and inexperience were alive and well at the birthday party this evening. He totally reminded me of the guy I dated my senior year of high school. He would lash out when he was feeling insecure as well. Perfectly captured!

Just when Bella was finding security in their relationship, his doubt tears her down. It is not her doubt in him and anymore, it is his doubt in her, which he has never expressed before now.

I am interested to see how this plays out in the next chapter!

Mr. Horrible, Ch. 24

I love Granny Platt. I am thankful that she and Edward finally spoke their peace about his maternity(?). Once again, Bella magic is lifting the clouds from over everything but her own insecurities. Luckily, she has found a dedicated and not easily frightened off mate to balance her crazy. I love how patient and persistent he is with Bella. It is just what she needs. I am hoping that she will start trusting completely in him in the near future.

Finally, the line "She cackles, and I have visions of her standing over a cauldron reciting Shakespeare's lines." just about made me piss myself.

Holding Out For You, Ch 45

I was pleasantly stunned when you added the line where Bella says, “I love you, Edward. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strongly about anyone besides Seth.” I held my breath before reading the next paragraph, because I was so afraid that line was going to cripple Edward. He has a long way to go to be at home with "moving on". I am so happy that he dug deep, and just expressed what he was feeling in the moment. That shows progress.

The languid lovemaking (kisses on the spine...::shiver::) was what their first time after reuniting needed to be. It was tender and beautiful and full of love. It was a beautiful expression of their emotional and mental bond to one another. The shower, then sealed their physical need. I think that they have to have a talk with the kids about their relationship after this, because this is the level they should be operating on at this point. I am not sure what that will entail, but I leave it to your genius.

You capped it all off nicely with Edward not correcting Juan with the use of "Mrs. Cullen", and also in turn referring to her by that as well. Looking forward to the next chapter!

Hydraulic Level 5, Ch. 15

I felt so bad for Bella and Edward when everyone started talking about the state championship game. The thing that made it the worst, is how everyone kept going on and on about how great the day was not knowing that they were celebrating the beginning of the end for Bella and Edward. Here are two people so paralyzed by their hurt and confusion of past and present, and the people around them are cheering the day that forever was promised. The day that would lead them to the road of hurt they have been traveling for almost a decade.

Then to have your most sacred memories spelled out before you by the woman that is scraping away your last thread of hope that you don't even realize you are clinging to. I am glad they caught up with each other and talked, but this friends plan is the worst type of lie on both of their parts.

Did I mention that I love the sweet torture that is your story? Because I do.

Spy Games, Ch. 1-6

I was happily beaten by this one-shot in the "Forbidden Affair" contest, and was so happy you informed me when you decided to continue it.

I love the idea of Edward and Bella as professional competitors. Bella is often portrayed as meek, and I love this large and in charge version. She has worked hard, and is at the top of her game. She is respected and intelligent. I love that irony that in the corporate world, cliche would have you putting Bella as the struggling CEO, but instead, you have the prince of the apposing empire as the one who's stockholders and clients are fleeing from. It is Bella they want to do business with. She is the one that they trust to lead a solid company, and not the nepotistic heir.

Unfortunately, while Bella is gaining professionally right now, she is risking her realm with this affair with Edward. They have something undeniably unique in what they have together, but the idea that they can keep this secret for long is delusional, and deliciously so. You leave us torn with her between disclosure to Mr. Jenks or secretive affair.

The love affair is unfolding beautifully, and I have suspicion of what Mr. Jenks is up to, and of Carlisle's familiar greeting. I can't wait to see if I am right, or you surprise me with what you unfold!

Pimpin’ my project! DefinatelyStaying, Lillie Cullen, and I have started up a blog in which to promote new authors and stories. The catch is we want your suggestions! We will then review your suggestions, and post those that we all agree upon to our recommendations. Looking forward to the gems you send our way!
Come visit us at http://blacksheepfics.blogspot.com/

A House of Cards, Ch. 4

I am not a great believer in an afterlife of any sorts. I believe that when you die, you are dead, and that is it. When faced with the thoughts of pedophiles, I hope I am wrong and there is a special ring of hell for them. If not, I hope each of them meets a slow torturous end to this life.

Edward has thrown the closet door wide open, and is taking inventory. It will be far from an easy journey, but hopefully he can reconcile his past with the man he is today. Bury the past, so he can open himself up to trust and love, because he does have people who truly love him in his life. It will be overwhelming when he is able to finally take all that love in and give it in return.

You know you own me.

Confessions of a Nanny, Ch. 4

You know how to get the party started right. My only concern is that she might turn Edward off if she is too aggressive. This man has been celibate for a while, plus she is his employee, so there is that head drama, too. I just hope poor Edward doesn't blow a gasket in the meantime.

Nothing like a 4 year old running around with your "cucumber". At least it was still un-used in the box. As mortifying as that was, it could have been MUCH worse.

You have about 5 cases of missing letters in words throughout this chapter. I can send you a list, if you wish.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, Ch 5

I am so happy that Bella and Jasper are becoming such good friends, but that they are expanding their network of friends beyond just the two of them. It will be so healthy for Jasper to have friends outside of the Cullens.

I was a bit disturbed to find out that Carlisle is the one that manages Jasper's evaluations and prescriptions. I think that is borderline conflict of interest. I do wish Jasper would continue with some sort of group therapy or X-Anonymous meetings. My mother has been clean for just over a decade now, and I know how much weight she puts into the meetings for her success. His flippancy about that tool for his well being is a bit disturbing.

It can be torturous, but I love that you are allowing them to become friends before introducing anything else to the mix. I like the slow steady pace.

The Sacrificial Lamb, Ch 7

I love this Bella for so many reasons. First of all, she is smart. She is always analyzing and planning. She saw immediately the oddity of James saying Edward's name after all this time of everyone painstakingly avoiding saying names. She was smart enough to hesitate and realize that he had fed that name to her. Also, we see now that she is plotting her escape, and it is rather humorous that Edward's chastisement of James' absence put a kink in her plan.

I am so glad that you don't have her falling all over Edward. Her ultimate distrust of him, because of association, is the smart frame of mind to be in, no matter what kindness he has shown to her.

Finally, if I was her, I would start to wonder if Edward wasn't some sort of undercover agent or something. We know he is not, and he has his own personal motivations, but it would be a theory to explain his kindness in the face of the treachery.

Another fantastic chapter, even though you left me hanging!

All I Ever Wanted, Ch. 1

NOTE: This is the start of a companion piece to All I Ever Knew. Haven't read it? Are you crazy?!


I am so happy to have the start of Edward's story. I have felt, as I have read AIEK, that there were some choppy waters under the smooth surface when it came to the loss of Edward's parents. To have that devastation and loneliness poured out on the page was painful, but necessary to read. I just wanted to yell out, "Hurry and get to class and meet Jasper, because he will love you and begin to sooth your hurt!"

It is interesting to see how painfully shy Edward actually is. In AIEK, he comes off as the confident one. It is interesting to see it is a Rose-induced facade. I am glad he took his friend's advice.

I am excited you decided to go all out with this one! I think it will be a fun challenge for you. I am sure tara sue me can always walk you through the trials of writing the flip side if you need moral support!

Poughkeepsie, Ch 36-37

Mrs.TheKing always doubling our pleasure with the double updates lately. You spoil us, you know.

Chapter 36 was a reminder of how much I love Emmett in your story. He is the classic smart man playing it down to keep the minions comfortable, so when he brings the heat, it's terrorizing. I can't help but ponder what this very loving and devoted man would have been in another life. He is always protecting, and his complete devotion to his brothers is unending. “Never alone Bro. You’re never alone as long as I live.” made me choke up a bit.

Chapter 37 my focus fell to Edward. He is so out of place in this world. The way he kept telling Bella she was beautiful almost felt more like a child saying it to a mother trying to ensure her affection. Follow that up with the handmade craft flower. It made me feel so sad for him, but I did love their retreating into their own little bubble for their dance.

These chapters bring out my momma bear for these lost, broken men.

Pieces of Time, Ch. 38

I have to admit that I am glad that they couldn't see the sex of the babies. Also, with the hugging, we know they are identical, so you blew all your 'one of each' theorists out of the water. The way these two are hung up on the sex and both stubbornly determined that they are correct, it will be good for them if they don't find out. Let them be surprised.

Esme's heart-to-heart with Bella provided some surprising insight to her past, and I am glad Bella had a chance to air her feelings to someone. I wasn't really expecting the "want to have more" talk. I thought it was going to be the "afraid my babies will be blind" talk, but that one worked too. :-)

Thanks for another great chapter!

Shotgun Charlie, Ch. 35

I feel bad for any couple who are accused of marrying for anything other than love. That if they aren't fitting the current societal mold of how courtship should be, then there must be a reason. I am happy that they have the support of their families, because I am sure there will be some unpleasant thoughts directed toward, mostly Bella, in the near future.

Thanks for sharing!

Scotch, Gin, and The New Girl, Part 2

This chapter was almost painful to start with watching Alice lost in her own importance. She achingly throws herself into meaningless affairs. I think she chooses disposable men, because sub-consciously she knows she has already found THE one. Unfortunately, as in most stories, her minds have made their united realization, possibly, too late.

I am guessing the wedding is Swan/Cullen. I can't imagine Wedding of the Century is Carlisle's latest. Looking forward to seeing who the dirty hippie is. I have my guesses...

Derailment, Ch. 10

Bella's would-be letter in her notebook was equally heart breaking and insightful. I am glad Edward received some answers, and learned that his feelings were reciprocated, but I hope he also took away from that letter just how isolated she is and desperate for her mother's attention. The way she kept bring up the times she and her mother spent together, and pointed how happy THEY were when they were together. That put my own mommy-issues stomach in knots.

Edward was so sweet in his gesture to Bella with the iPod. It was just the right type of thing that she would accept. Also, I love the touch of the "Flowers" playlist. Edward is opening up to Bella, and I hope he considers to the same with his family.

This was a great chapter!

A House of Cards, Ch. 3

I find Edward's jealousy in this chapter interesting. Not the fact that he is jealous, but the transference of whom he is jealous of from the start of The Forbidden Room. In TFR, we saw him trying to express his love to Bella, and of course, the heart breaking airport good-bye. Slowly, we saw a greater affection towards Jasper. I think Bella was a 4 on the Richter scale of Edward's soul, where Jasper was eventually a solid 8.

He seems, so far, to show a harsher emotion towards Jasper. Maybe because his leaving is fresher. I am happy to see he is starting to relent a little, and allowing Jasper to be near and have a civil conversation.

Finally, I can't decide if Edward is fantasizing about Jasper in the playroom, because he is hearing the sound of Jacob (a male sound) from downstairs, or if it is because it is Jasper's "company" he misses the most.

Readjusted, Ch 21

The scene between Edward and Ethan was very sweet. I could see him sitting on the chair holding the small baby in his big hands while he had his little heart-to-heart. Very sweet moment. It is funny how the sight of someone so small and new can help direct us to being better people.

I am so happy Edward had his epiphany and didn't duck and run. I love that he is adult about the situation. I hope he shows up with his flowers and apologies, and the two of them sit down and talk. That they put all their truths and fears out there, and start down a path of complete disclosure and honesty.

The Inspiration, Ch 6

I know how you feel about struggling with Bella's POV. I have more difficulty with that one, and prefer to write Edward's. One thing I noticed, is that when you wrote Bella's perspective, it was all external. What she was doing or has done. Other's reactions to her and her writing, even Edward's reaction to her body. There seemed to be less about what she was thinking and feeling than what you told us about Edward.

Maybe you might want to take this story to the next level, by internalizing with the characters a bit. We know what they do and who they are as outsiders, but I think you will REALLY draw us in by letting us take a look at their emotions, other than horny and awkward. :-)

Out of Her Head, Ch. 35

Thank God Edward is the man we hoped he was. I didn't think he could be anything but supportive of her situation, after all he went through, himself. I think he just didn't handle it in a way that was sensitive to Bella's perception, but he was distracted, and as always, was trying to handle things FOR Bella. ::rolls eyes::

I love that Charlie was at Edward's house going through his shit! That cracked me up to no end. I also appreciate that Edward just rolled with the punches there, and they are a united team (though misguided 'taking care of Bella' without consulting/including her).

Bella is where she needs to be right now, with Alice and Jasper. They need her. Poor Alice...and Jasper. Sad Jasper always breaks my heart.

Passion and Disaster, Ch 17

I really loved this chapter. You really gave Edward depth. I was afraid, after the previous chapters, that Edward was going to end up being selfish and almost childish in his reactions. Thank-you for making him be the clarity in the confusion. I love that he sees Alice and Jasper more than they do themselves. They do have a dependence on each other that is not entirely healthy. It was particularly mind opening when he said "It was Jasper needed Alice to make everything normal again."

Edwards fears are completely founded, and he has been hurt enough in his lifetime to not go into this lightly. He deserves Jasper's complete and utter devotion.

Poughkeepsie, Ch 34-35

Chapter 34 was another painful reminder that this beautiful (and this time I am talking about his spirit) man has been so displaced. Despite all the shit he has seen, he is still impeccably mannered, kind, thoughtful, and insightful. He has not let the life that was handed him alter his essential nature. Either that, or he is stuck in the mindset of the age he was when he entered the foster system.

Chapter 35 brings us to Mike and all I can say about his chapter is nothing good can come of this. Other than my own amusement with Twits. I think I'm going to have to do some Gimp'ing!

The Dominant, Ch. 23

This scene is less sexy and more frightening from Edward's POV. You can see that he wasn't really in control of himself or the situation. He was too much in his head and not caring for Bella in the moment. He is lucky he didn't hurt her physically. He just had revenge sex, because of his brother.

Edward's perspective is becoming skewed by this threat of revelation by Jasper. He is getting very possessive of Bella, and not just in a Dom sort of way. He is starting to objectify her. This is an unhealthy behavior, that we know blows up in his face later.

Art After 5, Ch. 25

Now THAT is a birthday present! I especially love how she is letting down her guard emotionally and admitting to her need for Edward. Sometime selfishness is OK. I think Edward needs to know that he is wanted as much as he wants her. Part of her is still trying to make decisions for him. I know what she wants for him, but this is his life to decide what is right or wrong. In the end, if it doesn't work out, I doubt Edward will ever see this time as wasted years or missed opportunity. It is just not in his nature to view it as such.

I had a feeling that Edward would invite Alice/Jasper. I anxiously await how that shakes out.

Tropic of Virgo, Ch 22

First order of business, favorite V word. I'm a bit old fashioned, but I like "pussy", because it's so sweet.

I loved the power play between Edward in Bella in this chapter. She is the first person outside of his family, I think, to challenge his control. I loved that through the bathroom scene, neither relented. I think when they relented back to the sweet, tender selves once upstairs, it was simply because it is exhausting fighting against something you really want to have, or in this case, give. The fight made the "please" at the end very significant.

The more subtler theme in this chapter is how Bella is also changing the dynamic of the rest of the family. I think she has given Alice more confidence, Rose some tenderness, and have opened Jasper and Edward's eyes up to the potential of those around them. Given them some new perspective to the music.

Readjusted, Ch 20

Edward did not react how I was expecting. I expected him to be a complete dick, and go hide in his man cave. Instead, he is simply hurt, and seeks comfort rather than solitude. Interesting. I know he is starting to experience love for the first time, but I didn't realize how much he was beyond going back to his past self.

Maybe it is the mother in me, but I couldn't help but feel bad for Matt in this chapter. He is being juggled and bumped around a lot. I know he is always with someone who loves him, but how much of this before he starts acting out.

Poughkeepsie, ch 33

I can only imagine how beautiful Edward looks after being 'Aliced'. I can't think about that now, or I won't get out the rest of my review out.

Despite all that is going on in this chapter, and all of the people, I find myself drawn to Alice. She wraps me up in her silent desperation to both be loved and to keep everyone at arms length. She keeps herself emotionally unattached with her sarcasm, biting words, and nicknames for all (real names equals a level of attachment). Alas, she also dresses like a hooker to draw men in, because physical contact is the only way she will let people near her.

I will be interested to see how this evening plays out. Also, to see if they run into Mike, so I can Tweet some more! :-)

The Sacrificial Lamb, ch 6

I have a feeling that Edward either has to move forward on his plan for Aro's demise, or he needs to start putting himself in better check. He is starting to get a little careless, and I don't trust James not to talk. I am starting to wonder, also, if Edward isn't spot on about the possibility to Aro bringing Edward into the Bella situation to provoke Edward's undoing, because there is no turning back or shutting off the course he on now. He is beyond just letting Bella go.

I really love this story! Thanks for sharing and frequent updates!

Stay, ch 32

Now the families/friends know that Bella and Edward are moving forward. I am happy that Edward is willing to trust Bella's decision now. He needs to understand that she is moving forward with no regret.

I am worried about Bella and the premier. Either it is going to go off fabulously, or disaster will ensue. I hope for the first. I hope she looks stunning, and Edward is glowing with her on his arm.

Nice way to get Emmett and Rose to meet! Emmett helping Bella move. You are a clever one.

Another great chapter!

The Inspiration, ch 1-5

I do love this slightly pervy Edward. Not even pervy, just a normal guy with normal guy needs, and methods of release. Even though you have him as a very successful artist, I love that you have kept him grounded in reality. There is nothing flashy about him.

I look forward to more being developed about Bella's character. She seems a bit flatter than Edward so far, but it is hard not to dwell on that man.

I look forward to how this moves forward now that he has plucked up the courage to talk to her. Will they get along? Will she be mad that he avoided telling her who he is? Will she pose for him eventually? Will his horomones fuck this up? LOL! I really don't want to know the answers, just thinking aloud. Spoilers are evil.

Guarding Edward, ch 33

I loved Esme sitting down and having the "sex talk" with Bella. It's a good thing she was a rider, otherwise poor Edward might have hurt his poor peen on the wedding night running into a granite hymen. LOL!

Your detail of the wedding was beautiful, and more than I could have hoped for. I loved your detailing of the decorations, clothing, ceremony, and reception. I loved how you spent time from both perspectives so we could share in the joy and happiness of both Edward and Bella.

The next chapter is going to be interesting!

The Mistress, The Headmaster, and The Shrink

It is no doubt that you know how to write a fuckhot lemon that makes me spontaneously ovulate, but your true gift is the subtle care your characters take with each other again and again, physically and emotionally. These three one-shots demonstrated that in spades.

I also loved how you wrote these in a way where you were truly in the scene with B/E/J. How you demonstrate how they let their consciousness let them be these characters.

BlueEyes32 may have made the donation, but you gave us all a gift.

Behind Enemy Lines

I have to start my review of this story admitting that I was apprehensive of your story at first, because the first chapter reminded me of the movie Beyond Borders. Not that I didn't like that movie or it's concept, but I longed for something original. I am glad that I ignored my gut, and gave it a chance, because I am in love with this story. You have created an original story with characters you pray for, a love you feel in your bones, and a tragic story of human suffering that you have presented with such humanity and raw reality.

I loved your Bella. She is intelligent and self-assured. She is a complete humanitarian, and an efficient leader. She dances so magnificently from soft to militant when it comes to who she is dealing with. This is especially evident when seeing her going from the camp inhabitants and then back to Aro. Her faith in what she and Edward share, though it had never amounted to any more than some kisses and a decade of arguments, is inspiring. She really did everything for love.

Balticward...let me get through the accented haze so I can focus on his character. My lust over this characters patriarchal society dominance is making Gloria Steinem cringe wherever she is. I love how Edward struggles with Bella and who she is, yet is still drawn to her. She intrigues him in the way she challenges everything about himself. Her own dominant personality goes against what he was taught about women, yet it draws him in at the same time.

In the end, I love the sacrifice and devotion to each other and the safety of the ones around themselves that sees them home. I love that these people will put themselves through great hardships to care for those who cannot defend and care for themselves. There is nothing ordinary about their lives or livelihoods, and it will never be easy for them, but they will have each other.

This story was nothing less than magnificent. Thank-you for sharing it.

The Mirrors, ch 1-17

Just picked this up, so here is my 17 chapter review.

First of all, I love the fantasy nature of this story. I know this fan fiction are based on "fantasy" stories, but I loved how you have created your own secret world for this one.

It was confusing at first while wrapping my head around "Teddy", but I am glad that I pushed past it. I love the detail you gave the Mirror world, and the relationship that formulated there between Teddy and Swan. You progressed the relationship perfectly from children to adolescents.

The earthquake scene was heartbreaking, and I felt the confusion and helplessness of his family from my parental perspective watching a child apparently losing their mind. I also felt the immense despair of Teddy at the loss of his friend, his first love.

It must be devastating to have to hide the most important relationship you have ever had from everyone. To live a lie for a decade is maddening. He caused himself true mental illness in convincing the world he wasn't mentally ill.

Bella's damage comes from her abandonment issues quelled from not only her father, but the loss of Teddy too. I can't imagine how emotionally traumatizing it would be to discover someone you thought was dead was alive. She is handling this WAY better than I would.

I am happy they are reunited now, yet sorry they both had such a terrible road to get here. I am anxious to see how the mirror will come back into their lives.

The Arrangement, ch 19

These three have created a situation for themselves that was inevitably going to end badly. It would be one thing, if they were new/casual friends, but the emotional ties between them were already so deep, that physically expressing that strong of a love was bound to confuse and complicate. They have been very flippant about the complexity of this arrangement from the beginning. Now they are reaping the pain of entering into such a relationship without the honesty of all parties.

It's time for these three to sit down and put ALL their cards on the table. If they truly are lifelong friends, the emotional secrets and half-truths need to end. If this friendship is true, they should be able to sit down together, and talk through what they are all feeling, hear each other out with compassion, and see the truth of their futures is in front of them.

That is what they should do. I don't expect it, though. That would be too easy. I can't wait to see what YOU decide to do with them!

Holding Out For You, ch 44

The "I love you" moment. ::sniff::

You know my favorite thing about this story, is the fact that it isn't easy. These are real life people with real life problems. They have pasts (I assumed Edward's tension while driving was because they passed where the accident occured), kids, jobs, and struggle to find balance like the rest of us.

The moment with Tanya's parents was lovely. I would want the man who loved my daughter so completely, if he lost her, to not live the rest of his young life alone. I would want his happiness, and I am glad they were so kind to Bella, and willing to extend that to Seth as well.

Looking forward to the weekend!

At The Deep End, ch 16

With the uncertainty of the future with Jasper's parents, I am happy you gave us this chapter. This chapter was wrapped in love and acceptance. The fact that not only Edward, but Jasper as well, felt comfortable enough to show a little PDA spoke volumes. Carlisle and Esme just want their son's happiness, and it is obvious in their words and actions.

I love that Jasper fell in so easily with them, and could be himself more and more as the evening rolled on. I loved how you ended it with the boys playing music together while Carlisle and Esme danced. Love being expressed in so many forms.

Thanks for the happy.

A Murmur of Fire in the Vein, ch 4

Drug addiction is no joke. It is something that Jasper will be battling the rest of his life. Rehab teaches you how to cope with the desire, but it is never gone. Obviously his trigger is his proclivity to depression. As long as he manages that responsibly, he will be stronger and more able to avoid his vices.

If Jasper and Bella want this friendship to work, they have to do what is true for all good friendships, and that is to always be open and honest with each other.

I have to admit that when you mentioned that he was standing close and looking down at her, my breath hitched. I didn't want them to kiss yet, too soon, but it made me excited about the potential future.

A House of Cards, ch 2

::lets out a long breath::

An acquaintance of mine who is a photographer once did a self-portrait of herself in black & white where she is laying naked on an expanse of cracked earth (more severely dried mud, than dessert). She has her back turned to the camera, yet you can tell she is curled into the fetal position. This is how I feel after reading this. That image is how I imagine Edward is feeling emotionally.

Edward is not only emotionally frail, but so confused. He doesn't know how to handle the love or the rejection. It is a jumbled wreck in his mind and heart. I am left wanting to walk up to this frail creature that is his psyche, and wrap it up in my love and a blanket.